Twas the Rematch Before Christmas - Jason Reeves

 

This is a poem I did for fun concerning the rematch between our unnamed hero

and the Red Menace, Santa. Hope you enjoy :)

 

Here is the link to the original Duel Before Christmas posted on Pojo.com in

December of 2005.

http://www.pojo.com/yu-gi-oh/CCGTips/2005/Dec2005/Twas%20the%20Duel%20Before%20Christmas.shtml

 

Twas The Rematch Before Christmas

 

Twas a few days before Christmas

And all through this year

Things had calmed down

Or so it appeared

 

My dueling had slowed

My deck was all dusty

I hadn¹t played in months

So I felt a bit rusty.

 

But that was ok

It was going to be fine

For all those illusions

Were all in my mind

 

The Santa, the bunny

The midget and all

Were all taken care of

With a single phone call

 

Three months of therapy

My mother did order

Borderlined she called me

Then crossing the border

 

I tried to explain

I had tried to protest

I tried to rationalize

My dueling contests

 

I had saved Christmas

Saved for us all

Saved all the money

That is made at the mall

 

But much to my fear

The report from my shrink

Said I was crazy

And had a kink in my think

 

So on Prozac, on Effexor

On Zoloft for sure

On Ritilin, on Valtrex

Not sure what for?

 

And so now you see

This is how it is

This is how I am

This very next Christmas

 

When out of my medicated

Stooper I did jump

At the sound of jingle bells

And a very loud bump

 

I quickly ran down

The list of my meds

To see which I missed

To hear this in my head

 

But all had been taken

All were as should be

So I started to wonder

What it could be?

 

Then a flash of light,

A swirl of snow

And my window flew open

To the sound of HO HO HO!

 

This cannot be real,

This is all an illusion

I have doubled up on meds

To cause this confussion

 

Because there in my room

Standing next to my bed

Was Santa no less

And outside was his sled

 

³I have come for a rematch²

He chucked and shook

³I have waited a full year

It seemed forever it took²

 

³For Christnas to get here

so I could come back

and beat you this time

and that is a fact!²

 

I stood there in wonder

And said to myself

³Could this be true

this fat sloppy elf²

 

³Standing in front of me

And looking all red

Could this really be him?²

Or is it in my head?

 

³I am not looking sloppy

And I am not in your head,²

The jolly old tub of lard

Standing there said.

 

³I don¹t play any more²

I tried to explain

³I havn¹t for some time

And my skills are all lame²

 

Then Santa did grin

And mustering his wit said

³Your skills have BEEN lame!²

And his face did turn red

 

For he laughed and he chuckled

With his big girth a swaying

He wiped his eyes

And continued saying

 

³Now grab up your deck

And wipe off the dust

You will play me this night

You have no choice, YOU MUST!²

 

I grabbed my deck box

And the dust did go flying

I may be all rusty

But at least I was trying.

 

He wipped out his duel disk

The same one from last time

And the battle began

He flipped a small dime

 

³It is heads² he declared

And showed it to me

³Which means you go first²

He chuckled ³he he²

 

I needed to defend

His deck type was Stein

That given the chance

Would run over mine.

 

I played a face down monter

And one face down trap

I would win this duel

And put an end to this crap.

 

He drew his next card, and smiled

I knew not its source

He summoned Cyber Dragon

And then Exiled Force.

 

³I use Exiled¹s Effect²

And away went my set

³I attack with Cyber Dragon²

But I was not done yet.

 

³I trigger my trap!

Sakuretsu armor you jerk²

The dragon did die

³You attack did not work²

 

He sneared at me

With an all knowing grin

³I set 2 face down traps

Then my turn I do end²

 

I drew my next card

³Are you ready for this?²

I had a great move

With the cards in my fist

 

³The monster you killed

Was a Treeborn Frog

And it comes to the field

You overgrown hog.²

 

³But on the field it won¹t stay

No, I tribute it now

To bring out my monster

Whos effect I tell now.²

 

³Mobius: The Front Monarch

Has a very nice skill

Two of your traps or magics

Its effect does kill.²

 

Santa looked unmoved

He stood perfect still

As the monarch I summoned

His backfield did kill

 

³Now I attack you direct

For 2400 damage

Taking you to 5600

A win you will not manage²

 

Santa just laughed

He simply smiled and drew

As he looked at his card

The smile on his face grew.

 

³I play Smashing Ground

To remove his Highness

Then I play Cyber Stein

My decks best and finest²

 

³Now I pay 5000 life points

To 600 I go

But now to summon

Your monster of woe!²

 

³I SUMMON CYBER ENDŠ.²

But his summoning was stopped

His cellphone was ringing

And from the duel disk it popped

 

³Santa hear, hello?

Your timing¹s a bad choice²

A crackle of static was heard

And then came a voice.

 

³Santa? Is that you?

I have been trying all day

To call you, to reach you

On the phone in your sleigh²

 

³Your receptionist did give me

This number I am on

She told it was for emergencies

And this call is one.²

 

³WHO IS THIS!?² he shouted

As loud as a bomb

³This is Pook² said the voice

³From Pojo.com²

 

³Upperdeck just called

Your best card has been canned

Did you hear what I said?

Your Stein has been BANNED!²

 

Santa exploded

³WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

YOU LIE! This CAN¹T be!

The LIST is a few months away!²

 

³It was a one time deal²

Pook did reply

³Its banned for sure²

Santa started to cry.

 

³My deck is now ruined!

Now I¹ll never win

This is so horrible

It should be a SIN!²

 

Santa slammed down the phone

He wiped away tears.

He looked at the field

And was filled with fears.

 

Since Stein was legal

When he paid his life points

The duel disk refused

To refund those same points.

 

But now that Stein¹s banned

The Effect is negated

The Monster he was summoning

Was now overrated.

 

He just hung his head

And ended his turn

³Finish me now, you win

But a win you did no earn.²

 

I had to agree

This felt kind of wrong

To win like this

Just didn¹t feel strong

 

³No² I replied.

³This duel goes to you.

You had me beat

Until the phone call came through²

 

³I will wait until next year

And have a true rematch

And you need a new deck

You can start from scratch²

 

Santa just smiled

He said ³Thank you² with grace

Through tears a joy

Running off his face.

 

With a wave of his disk

And woosh of his hand

Away he did fly

Back to Toyland.

 

I sat there on my bed

All curled up and cold

I knew I wasn¹t crazy

As I had been told.

 

I reached for my meds

And grabbed all the pills

I threw them away

I had had my fill.

 

Except for the Valtrex

I still wondered at that

But for now it was time

For a long winters nap.

 

Happy Dueling Y¹All

 

Pippin

jreeves@dailyleader.com

 

You can find this and the other poems in the series on the Forum under Fan

Fiction. Just Search for "Twas" in the subject line :)