Subject: Ten ways to rip n00bz off! - drwerewolf217
Hello, Pojogoers, I am Dr. Werewolf with my first
top ten list ever (but not my first tip!). My friend
recently lost his deck at a tournament (he is
experienced, though), and, he is horribly
discouraged, and has to rebuild his deck that he
spent YEARS on from scratch.
Now, before I start my real list, and continue my
rant, I would like to say that this list is a
misnomer (look it up, dingleberry). It will NOT
teach you ways to rip newbs off, and you are sick to
actually open something up to find ways to rip off
less privileged players than you. Before I continue
with my rant and list, however, I would like to
deviate for a few minutes below:
If you opened this list, you are one of three types
The type who is furious at me for typing this out,
and was going to send me an angry email to me for
typing something as horrible as this. Good for you!
The newb (not n00b) who is reading this so that he
can arm himself with knowledge so that he does not
get ripped off.
The predator who “eats n00bz for supper and crunches
their bones for lunch.” You, sir (or ma’am, as the
case may be) deserve to jump in a lake with
dumbbells tied to your ankles.
Now to continue with my rant:
Everyone, even you, was a newb (or n00b) once. Think
back to your first tournament, walking in with the
E-Hero or Dark Magician deck, and getting defeated
over and over. You could easily have quit the game,
disgusted, but no, you pressed on. Now, by cheating
people new to the game, you reduce their chances of
bouncing back and saying “I will keep trying.”
Without people to teach the game, it will fall into
a state of disrepair, with no new people introducing
ideas to the game. The Yu-Gi-Oh community will die.
So the next time you want to go up to a newb, flash
your Flame Wingman in his face, and get oodles of
cards for that one card, don’t. The game will be all
the better for it.
Now for my list for ways that newbs can cover
themselves from being jipped, ripped off, stolen
from, or simply trade:
10. Watch your cards. My friend (the one above)
attended my state’s local regionals (he didn’t do
very well, but that isn’t the point), and came back
without his deck that he had been working for years
on. Watching your cards is crucial, especially in a
crowded area or when you are distracted in any way.
To avoid incidents, put the cards in your pocket.
9. Know the prices of your cards and cards you want.
Sites like www.ideal808.com are great. Avoid
www.collectorscache.com, because it tends to inflate
prices, since it is based off of a card store.
8. Organize your cards. It’s like people say: first
impressions are very important. Instead of putting
your trading cards in a plastic baggy labeled “Junk
Pile,” invest some money in a binder and sleeves. It
makes you look more sophisticated, and less new.
7. Only trade doubles. In other words, only trade
cards that you have two or more of. In fact, if you
have a binder, put all your cards of the same name
into one sleeve, and play a little mind game of your
own. People won’t see the second card, and will,
without you asking (or maybe a shocked facial
expression or two), offer more cards, thinking you
only have one.
6. Keep in touch. Know the cards people are looking
for, and look to acquire them. Nothing complicated
to this one, folks.
5. Be pleasant. The difference between a newb and a
n00b is the attitude. A newb is the eager player new
to the game, while the n00b is the arrogant person,
thinking he is the best, and saying everyone who
beats him cheats. Nobody likes to rip off a nice guy
(or see a nice guy get ripped off), but if the
person is just plain stupidly mean, people will
laugh at him while he gets jipped.
4. Stick with friends. Believe it or not, there is
safety in numbers. Animals stay in herds or pods or
prides because that way, if some unknown danger
approaches them, they know that they outnumber it.
Stick with your friends at any tournament, and if
you don’t recognize anyone, start shooting the
breeze with people. This only works if you are good
at number 5.
3. Stay away from suspicious people. By
“suspicious,” I don’t mean the kid with the hood and
sunglasses. I mean the kid whose collection seems to
be growing miraculously. He’ll sit down to watch a
trade, and after he gets up, he’ll have another deck
or so with him. Report him to the head honcho, or,
if you don’t want to be a snitch, STAY AWAY!
2. Take extra care of your cards. At this point you
may be wondering “Why would a thief care how much
care I take of my cards. In fact, the more care I
take, the more he will want to steal them!” The
trick here is to pay too much attention to them. At
random times during trades, exclaim “Where’s my
deck!” And look around wildly for it, after you have
located it, move it elsewhere, and continue on with
your deal. If done regularly, thieves will be not
attempt to take your deck, for fear of being caught.
1. The single most important thing you can do to
make sure nothing bad happens to your decks is to
use everything you brought to the tournament. In the
middle of a match? Use your binder as an armrest to
keep you comfortable and to make sure that no one
steals it. Caught up in a heated trading debate,
with both your binder and the other person’s binder
open? Keep your deck in your pocket and hold on to
it with one hand. Wear any bags you brought to the
tournament at all times, or keep them in your lap.
If everything you brought to the tournament is being
used, nobody would be crazy enough to try and steal
something while you were using it.
Well, readers, that’s all for me. Enjoy the rest of
2007 for it is going by fast, and enjoy those
Questions? Comments? Angry messages of destruction?
The new email addy is email@example.com!