The Meathook Massacre – Midnight Hunt
Date Reviewed: October 12, 2021
Commander [EDH]: 4.17
Ratings are based on a 1 to 5 scale. 1 is bad. 3 is average. 5 is great.
A two-mana enchantment with those two death triggers would probably be playable in some kind of deck by itself. But of course, most people aren’t going to be casting it for two mana (unless they’re some kind of speed-based combo deck). They’re going to be waiting until they can kill a bunch of things and get a bunch of triggers right away, and depending on how many creatures are in play, it can easily just win the game on the spot (which would actually make a lot more sense for a card with such a name). You could use it as a black sweeper in Standard or other smaller formats if you needed to, and it also scales well to multiplayer, so I think there’s not much to dislike about the card.
And for horror movie fans, unless Universes Beyond eventually has an actual Texas Chainsaw Massacre card, this is probably as close as we’re going to get.
The Meathook Massacre has quickly become the chase mythic of Midnight Hunt, and it’s easy to see why. It’s a scalable board wipe that also has incremental advantage off of it, and while wiping an opponent’s board alone won’t end the game, it does offer cute lines of wiping out your board to do just that. Board wipes are always nice, and this even ducks around indestructibility and targeting protection with enough mana; while this is unlikely to usurp the premier board wipe spells (Damnation and Toxic Deluge), this has a nice bit of utility alongside the former and is legal in more formats than the latter. This ain’t flashy, but it’s quite powerful in its ability to thin out a board, and that passive is a subtle way of making sure the long game goes in your favor.
The Meathook Massacre
Controversial opinion – This is the best card printed in standard since Oko. Where to begin…well for starters let’s talk about what the card does, for your choice “X” and BB you have a board wipe in black that will get rid of those pesky indestructible creatures, this alone is huge. To add some crushed oreos to this sundae, this card is an enchantment, why is this important? Well enchantments aren’t the easiest to get rid of AND they can be bounced back to your hand so you can get the board wipe…again without having to do graveyard shenanigans. Now comes the hot fudge…whenever a creature you control dies each opponent loses one life…is this bringing anyone flashbacks to Skullclamp/Disciple of the Vault combo from back in the day? Or how about any of the other endless Skullclamp combos that have come about over the years? Sure Skullclamp is banned in many non-commander formats but there are many other cards that would combo very well with this card. Now the cherry on top of it all…Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies you gain one life…HOW WAS THIS CARD PRINTED?! It makes it into so many life gain strategies and will combo well with vampire style builds, in standard/modern. It goes into Soul Sisters in modern, and I think it can go in Enchantress in Legacy….don’t get me started on the dozens of commander decks it can go into. All in all this card is going to be money in a few years and a must pick up. Get a playset…you will not regret it!
This isn’t Lightning Bolt or Swords to Plowshares where it is an auto-include in every deck, it does require some creative deck design to make it work and flow but it is very doable in many different ways. I think this will be a commander staple for sure, no questions asked. But it will require some creative thinking to build decks around it in modern and legacy but it is absolutely doable and will for sure work. My personal favorite card (besides the lands) in the set.
- Constructed: 4/5
- Casual: 5/5
- Limited: 5/5
- Multiplayer: 5/5
- Commander: 5/5
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