Body Launderer
Body Launderer

Body Launderer – Streets of New Capenna

Date Reviewed:  May 2, 2022

Constructed: 3.50
Casual: 4.17
Limited: 4.33
Multiplayer: 3.33
Commander [EDH]: 3.33

Ratings are based on a 1 to 5 scale. 1 is bad. 3 is average. 5 is great.

Reviews Below: 


Bodies are not usually the thing I imagine people laundering; but of course, a crime syndicate in Magic’s multiverse has even more stuff going on than in other places. This guy is actually quite impressive other than that, even – recall the full text of connive. As such, he’s a potentially growing threat, a deterrent to people dealing with your other creatures, and a graveyard interaction card all in one place. That’s quite eye-catching in any context, and he can even be a one-card combo. For four mana and little in the way of self-protective abilities, I wouldn’t recommend on having him be the only way your combo/synergy/whatever can win, but he’ll often generate enough advantage in just one or two turns to put you over the top.

Constructed: 3/5
Casual: 4/5 (you’re really overwhelmed by choice when it comes to black self-sacrifice cards)
Limited: 4/5
Multiplayer: 3/5
Commander [EDH]: 3/5

 James H. 


He’s a Rogue, but he doesn’t necessarily play well with all the Rogue tribal cards and support, thanks to that clause keeping you from looping copies of Body Launderer. All the same, this dapper disposer is a pretty potent blocker who can become a major threat in a long game. As a reminder, connive is a looting effect that adds a +1/+1 counter if you discarded a nonland card, and this pairs well with ways to get your creatures dead…especially if you ultimately get one of them back when the Ogre himself dies. Anything recursive can be scary, and this even will usually get you value when its removed…and, if nothing else, it’s a growing threat that cuts through swaths of blockers.

Constructed: 3.5 (potentially scary, but not sure how yet)
Casual: 4.5
Limited: 5 (I think this is a clear Limited bomb; it gets bigger and trades well, and it leaves something behind when it dies)
Multiplayer: 3
Commander [EDH]: 4 (Commander is great about setting up this card’s abilities)

Mike the
Borg 9


Solid all around card for four mana with deathtouch.  Gets better if you throw in a sacrifice type deck and that becomes the main strategy with this as the finisher card.  Extra bonuses when this dies and you’ve convinned enough times you can get a strong card like Grave Titan essentially for free.  This is an example of an all around balanced good card that isn’t broken, makes you work for it, and gives you a pay off when it dies.  The deathtouch will likely deter your opponents from blocking until this gets big enough to where it is going to win you the game, you should see a few early swings hit. 

This card should shine in all formats, it might not be the constructed powerhouse but in the right sacrifice deck it should be the win card.

Constructed: 4/5
Casual: 4/5
Limited: 4/5
Multiplayer: 4/5
Commander [EDH]: 4/5

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