Sasquatch Golem Burner/ occasionally the “Sooo Hot, Want to Touch the Heinie” Deck

The Sasquatch

D.J.s Cards and Collectibles

North Haven, Connecticut

Saturday August 7th 10:30

Entrance Fee: 6$, receive a TP

I believe 10 or 12 participants (if you live in CT, stop by)


The deck itself with abbreviations for my report:

Monsters (19)

Lava Golem x2

Stealth Bird (SB)x2

Giant Germ (GG) x3

Mystic Tomato x2



Mask of Darkness (MoD) x2

Cyber Jar

X- Force

Man Eater Bug (MEB)

Twin Headed Behemoth (THB)

Spirit Reaper

Sinister Serpent

Spells (7) (name change must have happened when I was on my almost year long dueling vacation)

Ookazi x3


Dark Hole

Pot of Greed

Graceful Charity (also restricted to 1 while I was in seclusion)

Traps (14)

Solemn Judgment (SoJo) (My oldest friend has been with me forever, since MRD days. I have 2 but only played 1 in this deck. I don’t know why we nicknamed it what we did)

Mirror Force

Waboku x3

Gravity Bind (GB) x3

Ring of Destruction

Magic Cylinder

Nightmare Wheel


Curse of Darkness

Just Desserts (JD)


Well it is a burner, affectionately named only for this report from a “Billy Madison” quote, otherwise it has no name.  Lets give a little background information before we start shall we…  My brother, cousin, friend and I started playing this lovely game ever since the days of starter decks, LOB, and MRD.  We played from this point up until after the release of PGD, when for some reason we stopped playing and buying cards.  During that time, we used to come to D.J.s Cards and Collectables and play (and win our fare share of tourneys), and I also won earlier at Cardsmiths in East Haven using a hand control WMH-Robbin Goblin Deck (oh the good old days).  Anyway here we are back at D.J.s after starting up again a few weeks earlier. 

I had been working desperately on a “Morpheus what can we expect at the orgy?” Machine Deck (named after Andy Dick’s Quote from an old MTV VMA show), but recent events put a halt to that deck: I traded my brother my Don Zaloog, Giant Rat, Mataza the Zapper, and Tribute to the Doomed to try and help his warrior deck out in exchange for his 2 Lava Golems, 2 Gravity Binds, Dark Driceratops, and a few new burning common monsters.  I decided to revive some of my old burning cards and have crack at building a tournament worthy deck (final result above).

            Saturday morning came and my cousin Afro-Vin came over early.  Together with my brother, and without gay Kyle who was working at Subway, we made the drive to the tourney.  We arrived early only to be greeted by a friendly familiar face from earlier tourneys(Uriah)(hope I spelled that right) sitting in his car with a kid I didn’t know (I later found out his name was Jouni/Junie?).  We got out of our cars and began to talk and duel and look at each others cards.  I didn’t know what to expect so I mostly watched and kept quiet, looking at Uriah’s awesome collection of holos and rares.  I was intimidated a bit by all the new cars I didn’t have.  So other kids start to show up and I look at all their cards too and try to see where the metagame is at.  I trade a Salamandra for a second Curse of Darkness and Des Koala I believe, neither of which I put in my deck.

            Tourney time rolls along and we register.  I pull a Giant Red Sea Snake, BAH!  But Jouni was apparently running an ALO deck so he wanted it (we will trade later hopefully).  Brother Nick gets crap.  Afro-Vin pulls… a Royal Decree?!?!  I swear this kid is blessed by God when it comes pack pulling…unbelievable.  Uriah, acting as judge/runner of tourney I guess, does the pairings.  Nick vs kid with water deck.  Afro-Vin vs. Josh?, 2 youngsters play eachother, another Josh I guess (maybe I have things a bit confused) vs. Lem and… Me vs. Uriah?  Not a typical first round opponent, I was a bit disappointed because he was really good and I would have to face him in round 1.  But we start anyway, with Afro-Vin and his opponent delaying their play because of a lack of table space.  I kept score so I could remember some of the things that happened, but only wrote down cards that had to do with my opponents life points, and don’t remember most of my own damage, but here we go…


Round 1: Me vs Uriah’s powerful beatdown

            He ran a very hard hitting beatdown with powerful equips as far as I could see.  First damage he took was attacking my first turn f/d GG, summoning my other two to the field.  I believe I put a f/d curse of darkness down on my next turn.  He goes and plays a magic, possibly MST, I flip curse of darkness, believing he would take 1000 damage, but he tells me it has to be face up.  I guess this makes sense so I follow this rule for the rest of the tourney.  Next turn he summons another beatstick and attacks both GGs.  I play Ook I guess.  I think I set something else and next turn I took 1800 damage from his second attacker .  I finally find the right time to set a GB and summon Lava Golem for him.  On following turns he attacks to reveal my GB, and takes 1000 damage from Lava. Play Ook at some point, and maybe then he X-forces his Lava sometime.  Lava #2 finishes I think, not sure if I used something else.

U  8000>7500>6500>5700>4700>3700>2700>1900>900>0

S 8000>7800>6000>5000>2600

Duel 2 comes I get first turn Ooks I think. He takes an original GG shot for 500, then finishes off the rest next turn for 1000 more.  From the score maybe we both take 2000 from a Ring?  I maybe JD for 500 more? Lava and GB take out the rest of his life points.

U  8000>6400>5900>3900>3500>3000>2000>1000>0

S 8000>7200>4600>2600


Overall Scene:

            Maybe the hardest match I fought all day, my back was up against the wall from his attackers for most of the time I think.  He said he tweaked his deck recently and it hasn’t been the same.  I look forward to dueling him again.  He stuck around to run the tourney, judge a bit, trade.

            Nick loses? His deck is really good, he says he got bad draws/luck and apparently his ALO/water deck opponent’s Levia-dragon pwned him.  Afro-Vin lost to Josh.  Nick and Afro-Vin both get to trade while I duel for the rest of the day, an unfortunate disadvantage to me.

            We check on how the two younger players are making out and they… just finished the first duel???? One of them got decked…lol.  So as they proceed, to give you what you need (finishing a match), we give the eventual winner a bye and resume the tourney.


Round 2: Me vs Lem’s beatdown with a few twists (negate attacks, trap jammers)

             Hit him with an early Ook.  Later I remembered to flip up my curse of darkness asap so its effect would work.  He drained himself 2000 by playing 2 spells.  I played Ring on a 1300 atk monster, God only knows what. Took a 500 shot from something, then Lava took 1000 before being tributed or dark holed maybe.  JD took 1000 for his 2 monsters, and a MoD’ed Ring finished him off

L  8000>7200>6200>5200>3900>3400>2600>1600>600>0

S 8000>7000>5700>something from RoD

            Duel 2 went along with me getting another first turn Ook, I think he ran me down with the help of Jinzo maybe, about one of the only ways anyone could with all my traps (maybe the Jinzo had appeared in the first round and Lem didn’t use it on me I don’t remember).  I dealt with itMagic Cylindering his attacker, SB made his debut in this tourney as far as taking off life from my opponents and ran Len down very low under the protection of GB.  I ceasefired and Ringed for the win.

L 8000>7200>5500>4500>3500>3300>2700>1200>0

S 8000>7000>6000>4700>3800>2600



Overall Scene:

            At some point during that match, I played Waboku in response to one of his attacks for the first time this tourney, believing my monster would be saved because I read Edo’s page and find him to be a very reliable source. Not much on the official site about effects of Waboku, possibly because UDE is confused most of the time, although they have been doing a better job as of late. The Judge told me my monster died! I was shocked! Can someone show me an official place where I can find the answer to this ruling? Maybe I have been away for too long, but I thought I was right. I digress. I went along with it because I was faring well without relying on Waboku to save my monsters.  As the tourney moved on, it seemed Trap Jammer was very popular among… well everyone.  I would have to play Wabokus and GBs before attacks, thus making them vulnerable to m/t removal, but alas.


Round 3- Championship: Me vs Josh who appeared to have a new age deck (I assume this because he played Neo Bugs as 1800 attackers He also, like most others I faced, had Skilled Dark Magician.  I am used to La Jinns and Kycoos and Geminis lol)

            I Ringed for 400????after somehow taking an early 2000.  Unleashed SB under GB and last turn killed him off with SB and Lava at the same time.

J   8000>6000>5600>4600>3600>2600>1600>600>

M 8000>7600

            Duel 2 was the most life points I had lost all day.  Early Ook for him, I Ringed us both for 1600.  Got off 2 GGs to guard my lifepoints, and played GB at some point after that.  He was getting frustrated, and eventually drew… Heavy Storm I believe.  He looked temporarily relived until I flipped over my oldest friend, SoJo! This took off half my life ,but was worth it because he had a large attack force assembled if I can remember correctly.  I tributed 2 of them for Lava, taking down 2000 until I set a JD for protection.  He then took another 1000 for lava but seemed to have a solution to his problem.  I was at low life points so I tried to take him down quickly, activating JD for only 500 damage, not enough to kill him.  He used his own Ring to destroy Lava Golem, dealing us both 3000 damage, and…. Killing us both?! That bastard, I was soo close to winning.  On to duel 3.

J   8000>7200>5600>5100>4100>3100>2100>1100>600>0

M 8000>6400>3200>2200>0

            So he managed to force a third duel, the farthest I had gone all day.  I needed to step up my game if I was going to win.  Early on, I played 2 Ooks, and got GGs through Mystic Tomato’s effect as I have been thinning my deck this way all day.  He attacked one of these face up with a monster with 100 higher attack I think.  I managed to get out Lava with protection and played a last ook, then Lava sealed the win.

J   8000>7200>6400>5900>5400>4400>3400>2600>1600>600>0

M 8000>7900


Overall Scene:

            I won 2 packs and Josh got 1.  Nick had been trading like mad and ended up with a Dark Mirror Force, 2 Archfiend Soldiers, Slate Warrior, Spear Dragon, Berserk Gorilla, Sakuretsu Armor, and Tribe Infecting Virus for giving up Mage power, Heavy Storm, GAF, Magic Cylinder, and Guardian Sphinx.  He is such a bastard I wanted to get new cards too!  Afro-Vin ended up trading his Royal Decree for maybe a Dark Magician of Chaos I don’t know.  We all informed him it was worth over 100$$ so he quickly enforced his trade backs clause of his deal to gain it back.  Its all for the better, Afro-Vin.  I pulled in my packs: a Berserk Gorilla to help my attacking machine deck, and Spell Economics to help possibly negate my own cost of paying for playing spells under curse of darkness.(does this work?)  I almost traded my other SoJo for that Anubis trap card I forget, and the Wave motion cannon that made its way into everyone’s decks at the tourney, It would be perfect for my burner. I also wanted a Drillago for my machine deck, but all these trade possibilities fell through. Perhaps if there was more time… well that is what next week is for (except we are going on vacation, so it will have to wait until the week after..)


Props:  -For everyone there for being very nice to us and generally friendly.

            -For me winning and getting ok cards.

            -For Afro-Vin’s intense holo attracting, pack choosing skills…He also got Des Counterblow in a pack he bought…

Slops:  -For me not knowing most of the peoples names

            -For me wining and not pulling a holo.

            -For the kid who wouldn’t trade his BLS, and Blowback Dragon, maybe I will get a chance to trade for those later

            -For Nick and Vin getting out In the 1st  round… they can do better…

            -For Nick being gay and getting so many new cards while I had no chance to do so


Email me with: possible answers to my questions/feedback/ if you live in CT and want to check out the tourney/ if you were there/ burner deck chat/machine deck chat: