Hyper Spastic Beatdown

2.0

Time: Noon

Place: All About Sports, Winston-Salem NC

Entrance Fee: $7.00

Entrants: 16

Prizes: First- $20.00 store credit

Second- $15.00 store credit

Third- $7.00 store credit

1 pack for entering

Ah…I return for the second installment of the Hyper Spastic Beatdown. I bought about seven packs of Magician's Force since last time, and got one decent card (X-Head Cannon) and my new favorite card: SPELL CANCELLER! I also traded for another of my favorite new cards, who Breaks all. So here is the Hyper Spastic Beatdown:

1x Jinzo (Uh……no)

1x Guardian Sphinx (Got an answer? No? Back to the hand.)

1x Spell Canceller (Your show sucked. It got cancelled. Get over it)

1x Goblin Attack Force (Still striving for a second one)

3x Gemini Elf (Thee real delinquent duo…<demented smile>)

2x Spear Dragon (Lances right through those annoying defense cards.)

1x Breaker the Magical Warrior (Ha ha, I broke you)

1x Don Zaloog (Beware the Don)

1x Witch of the Black Forest (Searchie searhcie)

1x Exiled Force (The power of X!)

1x Dol Dora (AKA Twin-Headed Behemoth)

1x Sangan (Demon furball)

1x Cyber Jar (And you thought Gigli was a bomb…)

1x Fiber Jar (Those trees are going like a hundred miles an hour!)

1x Sasuke Samurai (Never been so afraid of flips)

1x Raigeki (Lightning bolt baby)

1x Dark Hole (See ya later)

1x Harpies Feather Duster (Behold the power of the…FEATHER!)

1x Heavy Storm (Blow them all away)

1x Change of Heart (Thank you for letting me use that)

1x Monster Reborn (An ankh would have looked better…)

1x Pot of Greed (Greed never felt so good)

1x Graceful Charity (Gimmie that, that, and that.)

2x Mystical Space Typhoon (Blast it!)

2x Book of Moon (I like to moon people. Wait a second…)

1x Snatch Steal (It is only borrowing with no intent of return)

1x Premature Burial (Return to me my loyal minions)

1x United we Stand (Pump it up)

1x Mage Power (Let them show you how it is done)

1x Ring of Destruction (Ring-a-ling! A bell tolls for thee…)

1x Magical Cylinders (Let me just give that back to you)

1x Mirror Force (Mirror Mirror on the field…)

1x Ceasfire (Never shall you jar me)

1x Imperial Order (Benny makes a special guest appearance)

1x Call of the Haunted (Mirror Force? Surprise! Jinzo's back)

Anyway, myself and Jill (my other usual companion, my little brother, got grounded for throwing ice cream) got there about twenty seconds before it was supposed to begin, but no worries. We signed up and got our packs. We sat down and waited for the pairings…and waited. It ended up starting about ten minutes late. I got paired up against somebody I'd played before, Jill got that guys little brother, and Robert, the dude who beat the living crap out of me last time I came here in the finals, got paired up against Justin. Let it begin.

Round 1- Hyper Spastic Beatdown vs. Terry

First duel, I draw and go first. Start with the Gemini's in attack mode and Imperial Order face down. End. He draws, lays two face down and lays a card in defense. I draw and play X-Force, burning a 2000 defense dude and attack direct. He draws, lays a card in defense and ends. My move I attack and flip his Broccoli. We do the Fiber Jar thing and I lay Dol Dora in attack, and end my turn. His move he draws, play Pigeonholing Spellbooks on me (rearranges my top three cards) and then plays Charity, chucking Kycoo and Summoned Skull. He summons the Mighty Monkey (Bazoo) and attempts to remove three, but I remind him he can only remove monsters. So he does, equips with the Horn of the Unicorn, and blows away my Dol Dora. Boo hoo, I get I back. He lays two and ends. I draw. Oh my. I Dust his downs, Trap Hole and Bottom Less, play Change of Heart and sac to my loyal servant the Spell Canceller. Lock from here on out, he only had magic.

Second dual begins, he draws and plays cards in defense for almost the entire game until he pulled out a Summoned Skull and had me on the run for a while. Until I Holed it. Then he Premature Burialed back the Skull and raped my defense mode Spear Dragon. My move I Broked his Burial with Breaker and had him from there.

Winner-Me

Jill thoroughly thrashed the kids little brother with her magnets (She likes those things way too much) and Robert beat Justin. Go us. Next round, I got paired against Chris, a discard fanatic. Jill got Brian, the dude who beat her fried Lain (who complained about getting nothing good in her packs of Magician's Force even though she got two Diffusion Wave Motions in ten packs) and Robert got paired up against…I think Jhon, I'm not sure.

Round 2- Hyper Spastic Beatdown vs. Chris

Aha. Round two against this guy should be interesting. You probably have no clue what I am talking about, so I'll just get right into it. First game, we started out pretty slowly, but built up momentum pretty quickly. He smacked me a couple time with overflow from Goblins and tramples from Spears, but eventually I took hold. Spell Canceller and Jinzo hit the field and he couldn't do anything about it. Kukukuku….

Second duel, he thrashed me with Lily and Delinquent Duo. I had a feeling of Deyja Vu from last time I came and Robert pulled the exact same thing on me. My Sphinx held out for three rounds and got some recoil damage on him. Other than that all I got was a hit with Magical Cylinders on his Lily, but that's all.

Next duel, I started off with a bit of a demented move. I threw Fiber Jar in attack mode, and one face down. He looked at me like I had s*** for brains as I laughed maniaclly It took about three minutes for the laughter to subside and the crowd of appalled spectators to disperse. He summons Kycoo and attacks. Behold, I Mooned my fiber jar, and we did the Tree thing. Bet he'll think twice when someone throws a crappy monster in attack mode again. We drew and he set one face down. My move, I draw and summon Breaker and broke his face down, Offerings to the Doomed, which he activated in response. I used the Pot, then Premature Burial back my Breaker. Take it. His move, lays a card and ends. I draw Sasuke, and own from there.

Winner-Me

Jill beat Brian (Oh my God…that dude had Dark Paladin, Dark Magician Girl, and multitudes of support for the Dark Magicians. Still can't figure out what kind of deck he was running…) and Robert advanced as well. All that was left were Tiras, Robert, Jill, and I. Pairings are…Jill vs. me. I wave politely as we sit down at the table. Tiras and Robert shake hands, Jill and me exchange "Oh, you are going to win," "No, you're gonna win" comments for like five minutes while we shuffle the decks. Finally we begin.

Semifinals- Hyper Spastic Beatdown vs. Jill (MAGNETS!)

I despise magnets. First round she owned with Giant Rats and Magnets. I held out for a while with defense monsters and Traps, but once Valkyrion hit the field I was done.

Next round was quick. I took her Rat with Change of Heart and sacrificed it to the Sphinx. I attack and flip, laying my moon face down. She looses her 700 life by attack with her Beta and flipping me up. So I flip it back down again with Moon. She stares angrily at me and ends. I flip my Sphinx and summon Spear. My game from there.

Last game. Enter my bane. She plays a card in defense third turn after taking some smacks form my duel team of Gemini's. I attack unknowingly, and flip the dreaded Morphing Jar #2. I say okay and shuffle my mons into the deck. My deck has a pretty good amount of monsters, so I didn't think much would happen. Eight cards down, including imperial order and Riageki, came the first monster, Spear Dragon. Then another Ten cards down, including Jinzo, Ring of Destruction and Magical Cylinders, comes the Gemini Elf. Ouch. I hid in fear for the next three turns from her Giant Rat with Malevolent Nuzzler. Finally I draw the card I desired. The Sphinx. I sacrificed my defense mode Dol Dora (my god I love that card) to it. She attacked it reluctantly. I eventually got Spell Canceller out, and locked her down further. I slowly lowered her life by her attacking my Sphinx until it was safe to attack her Rat without her summoning Lily. (She was at 2000 I was at 1400) I Call of the Haunted back the 'Zo. From there, it was a lock. Good game. Great game.

Winner- Me

Tiras beat Robert. That only meant one thing. Okay, two. I was going face Tiras in the finals, and Jill was going to have to face Robert for third. Well, at least it would be iterating.

Finals- Hyper Spastic Beatdown vs. Tiras (Real life bad @$$)

First round, I thought was pretty funny. He was telling me before the tourney how much Spell Canceller sucked. He laughed. Look who has the last laugh now!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!!! Ahem…sorry. Anyway, I Change of Hearted his facedown Cyber Jar and sacrificed it immediately, no flip, for the Spell Canceller. I lay one facedown and attack. His move. Tries to Heavy Storm. I reminded him, nope. He has nothing the rest of the game, except that he Nightmare Wheeled my Spear Dragon. He showed me his hand after the game: Raigeki, Monster Reborn, Ha Des, Change of Heart , Heavy Storm, and Mystical Space Typhoon. Poor guy.

Next round we exchanged smacks form 1900's and Goblins until I was at like 3900 and he was at 2300. He Raigekied, attacked direct with Lily and pumped it. I Ringed his Sangan and tied the game. He ringed his Lily defense mode Goblins in response just for fun.

The final match!!! My pulse is racing, my mouth is dry, my palms are sweating, and my…bladder is full. So I excuse myself quickly to visit the little duelist's room, and all those symptoms disappear. We begin. Book of moon never worked so well. That and Jinzo ended the game rather quickly. An interesting little tidbit that occurred was when he summoned Lily early while I had Jinzo on the field. I had Book of Moon and Ring down. When he attacked, I did what anyone in that situations would do: I mooned Jinzo and Ringed Lily. The final score was 300 to 0, my favor, so I guess I got luck in that one. Good game man.

Winner- Me

So, I won, Tiras came in second, and Robert came in third. Poor Jill ranked out, but got a free set of Magnets (her third one) and had a lot of fun. I opened my packs and got Luster Dragon, the 1900/1600 kind, and danced happily all around the store. I was so happy in fact that I got three more, and pulled XYZ, which I traded eventually for another Goblin. Go me. And again, happiness ensued as I gave away all the other packs to people. Whoo hoo!

So time for the good, the bad and the ugly.

The Good:

-Coming in first!!!! Oh yeah…time to break out the Cream Soda.

-Jill getting fourth (the farthest she ever got)

-Spell Canceller. Anything that can stop the best cards in the game is fine by me.

-Luster Dragon and XYZ popping out of my packs. Oh yes, I am happy.

-FLCL finally being aired on Cartoon Network. I love that show.

-NEW CAR! Ryan likey.

The Bad:

-Me having to beat Jill. Now I feel really bad.

-Having to skip Burger King. Usually go, couldn't this time.

-Jon getting grounded. The moron. Who wastes perfectly goo ice cream?

The Ugly:

-Thieves. You know who you are, and I'm after you. But that is a whole 'nother rant.

-My grades. Not exactly proud of them…

-Upperdeck's slow @$$ updates on the ruling pages.

That would be that friends. I've moved my email address, so if you need to contact me I will now be at kappasinmyhead@hotmail.com. Until next time, this is Ryan, signing off.