Preface (written by BigSpooky)
"First, there was the great Spooky and his army of Killer Squirrels. But as King Spooky grew older, he found it increasingly difficult to maintain control of his vast armada as he once had. So the king bestowed the right to wield the awesome power of the Killer Squirrels on a select few. This is the story of one brave man who hearkened to the task..."

So, this is a continuation of the Spring Break Uncensored edition of SQUIRRELS GONE WILD!  Having previously received useful cards, you shall now see them incorporated into my deck, but more on that later.  This was an Official Upper Deck best of three single elimination tournament.  In addition to the normal restricted list, Graceful Charity was semi-restricted while Harpie's Feather Duster and Sinister Serpent were restricted.

The following text in italics is an excerpt from my previous tournament report.  If you've read it before, you can skip over it.

Ok, now before I continue, I would like to "constructively criticize" (a.k.a. "rant") the current state of affairs of some "tournament reports" being submitted.  Now, don't get me wrong, many people submit high quality tournament reports.  These reports are informative, descriptive, and (most importantly) fun to read.  Now, if you submit a report and it doesn't have your deck list, how are we supposed to know your strategy and get tips for building our own deck?  Worse yet, I've seen reports where the entire duel is described with two words.  If your entire tournament report is just "Duel 1: I win.  Duel 2: I lose.  Duel 3: I win" then that's not very exciting , descriptive, or informative.  Deck lists are NOT a tournament report and never will be!  And while I know it's tempting to make your report look flashy, simpler really is better (i.e. black text, white background, ordinary font).  Nothing's worse than trying to read something that is dark blue on a black background in Old English font.

And one last thing, ever notice that the decks with the "strongest" sounding names end up being the worst reports ever written?  I'm not going to point fingers but one notable deck list disguised as a tournament report has the subtitle "Try and Stop It."  However, when you open it up, it is JUST A DECK LIST.  How can we even begin to "try and stop it" if we don't even know how it wins?  Granted, it's a beatdown with strong cards but it runs 46 cards and the report doesn't even say how he won or anything.  In it's slops, he says "people who brag about their terrible decks."  You're not supposed to post a tournament report to brag about awesome cards you have, you post it to tell of your experiences and strategies.  No one wants to read how rich you are.  It's not like we will then look up to you or something just because you have 3 Gemini Elves.  On the contrary, you're more likely to get made fun of for having such a crappy report than for having a good deck.  Seriously, I have WAY more respect for the guy playing the "terrible" deck who writes a great report than the guy that just goes "look at all the expensive cards I have."

On that note, I'd like to report even MORE news.  Some of you might be wondering what KSO is or stands for.  Well, KSO stands for Killer Squirrels Online and it's a gang started by BigSpooky.  We basically promote honesty and good sportsmanship as well as help others become better duelists all the while using (or a least admiring) Killer Squirrels.  If you'd like to know more information about KSO or would like to join, check out the bottom of this report or BigSpooky's latest tournament report.

With introductions out of the way, it's now time to kick it SQUIRREL STYLE!!!

SQUIRRELS GONE WILD (40 cards)

MONSTERS (18)

Tribute
1x The Fiend Megacyber
1x Summon Skull
1x Jinzo (FINALLY GOT ONE!!!)
Non-Tribute
1x Cyber Jar
2x Kycoo the Ghost Destroyer
2x Gearfried the Iron Knight
2x Magician of Faith
2x Man-Eater Bug
1x Penguin Soldier
1x Witch of the Black Forest (Can snag any creature in my deck)
3x Nimble Momonga (KILLER SQUIRRELS!!!) [Fully endorsed by the Squirrel Master himself, BigSpooky]
1x Morphing Jar (Yes, American TP2-001!)

MAGIC (15)

1x Change of Heart
1x Dark Hole
2x Heavy Storm
1x Tribute to the Doomed
2x Nobleman of Crossout
1x Monster Reborn
1x Pot of Greed
1x Premature Burial
1x Raigeki
1x Snatch Steal
1x Swords of Revealing Light
1x Graceful Charity
1x Scapegoat

Traps (7)

1x Call of the Haunted
1x Magic Jammer
1x Mirror Force
1x Seven Tools of the Bandit
1x Skull Lair
1x Imperial Order
1x Ceasefire

Sideboard (15)

1x Delinquent Duo
1x Soul Release
1x The Forceful Sentry
1x Card Destruction
1x Sangan
1x 4-starred Ladybug of Doom
1x Tornado Bird
1x Collected Power
1x Seven Tools of the Bandit
1x Mystical Space Typhoon
1x Magic Jammer
1x Exchange
1x Curse of Fiend
1x Megamorph
1x Metalmorph

    Ok, here's the basic strategies for the deck:  Beatdown your opponent.  'Nuf said.  The sideboard is basically to take down theme decks like Exodia  Of particular note is Tornado Bird, which I decided I could search for with Sangan and Witch of the Black Forest if I came against another Destiny Board deck.

    Those of you who remember my last report will notice a slight change to my deck.  I FINALLY GOT JINZO!!!  Plus, I think Graceful Charity and Scapegoat will help me deck out a lot as well.  Where most decks don't play many tribute monsters anymore, I have 3.  The reason is that I always find myself wishing I had a tribute monster in my hand so I could change of heart or snatch steal my opponents monster and tribute it.  Also, with so many utility monsters, being able to flip them and then tribute them is always a good idea.  Plus, you can special summon the Fiend Megacyber, allowing you to pull off some sick combos.  I took out my Dark Elves because they had hurt me a lot on Monday and they were really a wild card at times.

    Ok, since this tournament was on an Wednesday and I attend a private university and not a public school, I actually had classes to go to.  However, the tournament starts at 1:30 (registration starts at 12:30) and my last important class ends at 11:15 so that gave me plenty of time to attend the tournament.  Granted, I DID have a math class in the afternoon, but all I ever do in that class is sit in the back and stare off into space, read something not relating to class, or draw in my notebook so missing it is never a big deal (unless there's a test or a quiz that day, but there was no such quiz or test this day).  Today I made sure to leave about 30 minutes earlier than on Monday.  The entire time made all the difference in the world.  I took JUST made the subway by the time I got there.  If I had missed it, it would've been another 20 minutes for the next one and I would've been in the same position at on Monday.

    As I showed up a good 15 minutes early for the tournament, I saw the usual suspects running around.  Jason was here playing another kid for fun except that he was now playing Exodia.  Wow, he's got a lot of cards.  Surprisingly, Adam was also there.  Hadn't counted on that because he hadn't been there Monday.  Looking around some more I saw Phil.  I hadn't seen him since my first experience at Dream Wizards, which was over a month ago.  He delightfully informed me that he had wasted his money on some boosters and wasn't in the tournament.  Oh well, moral support?  We started playing each other and I beat him.  I tried to trade him for his Graceful Charity but he would have none of that, lol.  Oh well.  Soon after the pairings were posted and I found my seat.  Several minutes passed and I still didn't have a partner.  I saw Adam talking with a judge about not being on the list.  Turns out there was an error and someone was put in twice.  Adam was paired with... me.

Round 1: Kris (That's me!) vs Adam [Acceleration Beatdown]
Yes, this is the same Adam that I'm friends with who eliminated me from the tournament a week and a half ago.  I really hadn't expected to face him first round, and my deck was untested in it's current form.  On the plus side, I knew his deck since he informed me that he hadn't changed it at all since last time.  Mine, on the other hand, had been modified twice and now had JINZO.  I jokingly told him that I was playing Exodia and he ALMOST sided in anti-exodia cards.  I shouldn't have said anything, but I told him I was just kidding and he stopped.  I wanted to beat Adam without cheating, though that technically wouldn't have been cheating, I wanted Adam to know that I had whooped him on fair ground.  I politely informed Adam that I was sorry that I was going to eliminate him first round and he laughed a nervous laugh.

Duel 1: Adam drew a pretty good hand to my mediocre hand.  History repeated itself as Adam quickly demolished my life points.  I was unable to mount an offense at all and Adam had a counter for everything I did, or at least tried to do.
Me: 8000-5500-4500-3500-1200-0
Adam: 8000

After that duel I said "sideboard" and sided in Curse of Fiend to counter his Scapegoat that I knew he ran maindeck.  At this point in time, I kept my sidedeck in my trading binder and just kept a separte list of the cards that were in my sideboard.  Brian, my friend and a judge, came by and thought I was just sideboarding from my entire collection of cards and I was like "No, I have a list" and he was like "oh, well, in future duels, keep your sideboard separate."  Good advice.  While I was sideboarding, Adam asked if I was going to stick around if I lost the next duel.  I said "Yeah... IF..." and that's a pretty big "if."

Duel 2: This duel was an interesting one as it initially went back and forth.  I initially had control of the board but Adam cast an almost game-breaking Dark Hole and then played a card facedown.  I knew Adam hated Killer Squirrels but he was a good duelist and knew that I played them.  How was I going to get him to blindly attack it?  I played a Witch of the Black Forest in attack mode and attacked his facedown monster, which I think was a Magician of Faith which he used to get Graceful Charity.  His turn he uses Graceful Charity and then kills my Witch of the Black Forest.  I fetch Morphing Jar and show it to him, then put it in my hand.  He gets bug eyed and says "Wow, where'd you get that?" and I told him E-bay.  Knowing full well that he needed cards (why else would he have fetched Graceful Charity with Magician of Faith?) I set a Killer Squirrel.  During Adam's next turn, he all too happily plows right into my Squirrel thinking that it was the Morphing Jar and instead gives me life points and more squirrels to pound him with.  Next turn I Raigekied and then tributed one Killer Squirrel for Jinzo and he goes "Oh, you have Jinzo now" and I said "Yeah...finally."  He was unable to draw anything and fell next turn.
Me: 8000-5700-6700
Adam: 8000-5600-2200-0

Duel 3: This is the first time I have ever gone 3 duels in the first round.  Adam loves going first and chose to go first this game.  He drew a weird hand and set 4 Magic/Trap cards 1st turn.  I thought one of those was for sure Imperial Order, but I had a Heavy Storm in my hand and I figured that if I didn't wipe his traps away, I didn't have much of a chance.  Heavy Storm resolved.  I stood there in amazement as Adam put his cards into the graveyard.  I hadn't expected that.  With a huge card advantage, I went offensive and Adam was unable to mount any substantial offense against me.  I did the combo of change of hearting his lone defender and tributing it for Summoned Skull and attacking for the win.  I was holding my Morphing Jar.
Me: 8000-7300-6600
Adam: 8000-6200-4400-0

After beating Adam, I shouted in triumph because vengeance was mine.  Some kid dueling next to me got startled when I did that though... sorry about that.  Adam was really disappointed at the loss, but there were no hard feelings.  He asked if I would ever trade my Morphing Jar I said "no".  I mean, would you ever trade it?  Didn't think so.  Afterwards I caught Phil playing little kids for fun and told him the news.  I then played him for fun.  During our duel, Adam calls to me and says something like "Hey, Kris, I lost, right?" and I look at him and go "yeah" and then Adam turns to the group he had been talking with and says "see?"  I guess people didn't believe someone who had won a tournament could've lost in the 1st round.  Of course, they hadn't counted on him playing against KILLER SQUIRRELS!  MUAHAHAH!!!  I beat Phil in our first duel but our 2nd duel got interrupted by the round 2 pairings.  It was time to face my new opponent.

Round 2: Daedalus (That's me too!) vs Mike [Beatdown]
I think I saw Mike here on Monday.  He was here with his older brother, but I've never played him before.

Duel 1:  My Witch of the Black Forest ran into his Witch of the Black Forest (set) so I lost 100 points.  However, I played a Killer Squirrel which he plowed into with an 1800.  The rest of the game he didn't touch me as I whittled away at his life points.  I finished with more life points than I started with and with a lot of monsters on the field.  Mike looked at his deck and 2 cards down was Raigeki.  That would've been bad.
Me: 8000-7900-8100
Mike: 8000-7500-5100-2700-1700-1000-0

Duel 2:  Killer Squirrels must've annoyed the hell out of Mike this game.  I ended up with even more life points than the last game and Mike couldn't get any removal to get rid of my squirrels so he just decided to plow into them.  However, my army was amassing and he could do little to stop it.  After I won, Mike flipped over his next card... Raigeki.  He yelled at it for never showing up, hehe.  Oh well.
Me: 8000-9000-8500-8700
Mike: 8000-4600-1750-1250-0

Mike wanted a rematch after he collected his consolation pack.  He got it.  Here's the scores for that game:
Me: 8000-5650-4950
Mike: 8000-5000-800-0
Well, he did better because I didn't end up with more life than I started with.  He then asked me to duel his older brother.  During the duel he flips a Solemn Wishes and I thought he was playing a Stall or Burner deck and just wasn't getting the cards he needed.  However, only 3 turns into the duel, the pairings for round 3 came up, so we had to call it short.  I told Mike's brother that I would play him again later.

Round 3: Professor Squirrels (Also me!) vs Jake [Balanced Beatdown]
Yes, this is the same Jake that won on Monday and who I think is one of the best duelists in the store.  I wasn't getting any luck in the pairings today.  Oh well, I figured I would've had to face him eventually.  We've never played each other, so a match was overdue.  Just then one of the judges comes over to me and tells me that Jake had been penalized one duel for helping another duelist play.  Jake looked at me with a shrug.  Basically all I had to do was beat Jake once in the next two duels and I would've beaten him.  I really didn't want to beat him this way.  I like my duels to be on fair ground.  I told him that we should play 3 games anyways just to see. how it would've really turned out on fair ground.

Duel 1:  This was a pretty close game.  I started by setting two Magic/Traps which he then tried to Heavy Storm but one of the traps was Imperial Order.  I let Imperial Order go for several turns before destroying it.  We both managed to get some pretty good hits on each other.  Towards the end of the duel, I was resting at 1300 life while Jake was at 1100.  I had set Penguin Soldier to take care of Jake's attackers and give me the win with my Kycoo which was sitting in my hand.  Jake top-decked Change of Heart and I ended up losing.  ARG!
Me: 8000-7300-6300-3800-1300
Jake: 8000-5800-3600-1800-1100

Duel 2:  This game was crazy.  I was on defensive a lot.  Scapegoat saved me for several turns and he even plowed into some Killer Squirrels.  However, each time I managed to regain control of the game, Jake would come back and stop me.  However, I did manage to get him down to 1700 life while I sat at 6600 life.  Jake then got his Barrel Dragon on the field.  I had a Nobleman of Crossout in my hand and kept hoping that it would turn into a Tribute to the Doomed but it never did.  With Jake's new Machine, he used it's effect perfectly each time to wipe my defenders.  I needed to draw any kind of removal.  Penguin Solder came up.  I set it, Barrel Dragon's effect killed it.  I drew Morphing Jar.  I NEED Morphing Jar to snag me cards!  It's essential.  I set it.  Barrel Dragon's effect... Tails... Heads...... HEADS... ARG!  he played his own Kycoo, attacks and that's game.
Me: 8000-9000-8300-9300-8600-8000-7300-6600-5900-3300-0
Jake: 8000-6200-2800-1700

Those duels were WAY too close for comfort.  Even Jake said that he won on account of luck.  Oh well, Jake won and I told him that I'd be back and kick his butt.  He's a good duelist and those were some intense duels.  I really need a Barrel Dragon.

Jake went on to win the whole thing... again.  Adam was like "What?  I can beat him any day!"  Adam had beaten Jake in the finals last time he was here.  Funny, Jake beats me, Adam beats Jake, I beat Adam.  Rock paper scissors.  I got Patrol Robo in my pack, so right now I'm 2 rare for two tournament packs.  Not bad.  I also got another Pot of Greed, which, like I said, is useful.

Phil and I stuck around playing other people.  I played Jake's friend, Richard, since Jake was about to go into the next round (and then got a bye... I never get a bye).  We put up Ante just for kicks.  He put up a starter deck relinquished set (relinquished and his ritual) and I put up some rares and good commons I had along with my TP3 Pot of Greed.  I then told him that we were also playing for "Who's your daddy" and he said that we were playing best 2 out of 3 if we were doing that.  I won the first 2 duels, collected me Relinquished and then said "Who's your daddy?"  I guess I'm evil.  Richard's a good duelist though.  But Richard, who's your daddy?  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!  Sadly, someone stole Richards cards later.  I hate thieves.  They suck.  That's why I watch anyone who even glances at my Morphing Jar like a hawk.  Stupid thieves.

One kid who's a regular shows up and challenges me to a duel.  Phil had just been beaten by this kid but I was up to dueling anyways, so I accepted.  This kid was pretty good and we went for 3 duels, but he eventually won 2 to my 1 win.  And my 1 win was pretty lucky.  I had 200 life left; he had 800.  I drew Heavy Storm and took out his Magic Cylinder and then attacked for the win.  I commended him on a good match and then this kid's dad comes up to him and says something to the effect of, "See how good you are?  You're beating all these people."  I'm not sure if that's the right message to be sending to your kid.  At that moment, the Yu-Gi-Oh! episode with Rebecca in it crossed my mind.  Winning isn't everything, it's how much fun you have.  I had fun losing to Jake and Jason.  You can't win them all.  Just ask Adam ;)

Afterwards Phil and I played teams against this guy Dan and Mike (who I beat in the tournament).  Mike left the duel and we pounded Dan.  Oh well.  Brian, my friend and a judge, then challenged me to a duel and here's the score:
Me: 8000-4100-3300-3200
Brian: 8000-1500-2500-0
Brian had a nice combo where he change of hearted my set Cyber Jar (which would've ruined his day) and then tributed it for Summoned Skull.  I then pulled a massively evil combo where I Special Summoned The Fiend Megacyber, Snatch Stole his Summoned Skull, played Kycoo, and then Raigekied and attacked.  He played a Goblin Attack Force to kill my Fiend Megacyber.  I change of hearted it for my own Summoned Skull just for overkill.  Brian eventually gave me a ride to the Metro stop.  Go Squirrels Gone Wild!

What's Good and Pure:
-Jake for winning the tournament... again...
-Brian for giving me a ride to the metro!
-Phil for being my posse
-Jake for beating me
-BigSpooky for writing awesome tournament reports and for being the inspiration for my tournament reports
-BigSpooky for the new name to my deck and for giving me permission to use Killer Squirrels
-Dream Wizards for hosting the tournament and for finally getting some new tables!
What's Evil and Wicked:
-People who think a deck list and a tournament report are the same thing... you know who you are.
-Me, for losing to Jake despite him having a handicap.
-Thieves... they suck...
 

Comments?  Suggestions?  Want to know more about KSO?  E-mail me (Kris!) at rage4zero@yahoo.com