Squirrel Wars - Episode 6: The Return of the Killer Squirrels
Wizard's Asylum Tulsa, Oklahoma
March 9, 2003
50 People
Three Dollar entry fee
Winner - 5 booster packs
2nd - 3 booster packs

A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

S Q U I R R E L W A R S

(Sorry... I don't have big budget effects like George Lucas does)

Welcome to the third of my three tournament reports. This tournament took place the day after the tournaments at Vintage Stock and Top Deck. Since, I was on a roll with my second and first place finishes, I figured I could continue my lucky streak against the crowd at Wizard's Asylum.

Attack of the Killer Squirrels!!! (40 cards total)

Monsters (19)
Cyber Jar
Gearfried the Iron Knight
Goblin Attack Force
Magician of Faith X2
Man-Eater Bug X2
Nimble Momonga X3 (Killer Squirrels!!!)
Sangan
Summoned Skull
The Fiend Megacyber
Trap Master
Wall of Illusion X2
White Magical Hat X2
Witch of the Black Forest

Magic (12)
Bait Doll
Change of Heart
Dark Hole
Fissure
Heavy Storm
Monster Reborn
Nobleman of Crossout
Pot of Greed
Premature Burial
Raigeki
Snatch Steal
Swords of Revealing Light

Traps (9)
Call of the Haunted
Dust Tornado
Imperial Order
Magic Jammer
Mirror Force
Seven Tools of the Bandit
Skull Lair
Trap Hole
Waboku

Side Deck (15):
4-Starred Ladybug of Doom
Sangan
Trap Master
Wall of Illusion
Card Destruction
Confiscation
Delinquent Duo
Mask of Dispel
Nobleman of Crossout
Nobleman of Extermination
Magic Drain
Seven Tools of the Bandit
Skull Lair
Trap Hole
Waboku

This tournament was match format, minimum of three rounds. The top sixteen players at the end of the three rounds advanced to the octofinals. In addition, the pairing is done according to age (so it won't just be teens and adults in the final rounds). Since I'm at the older end of the bracket, and most of the older players are pretty strong, it was going to be a bit of a chore for me to win this one. On the other hand, I would definitely be guaranteed some exciting matches...

On to the duels!

First Round - BigSpooky vs. Jesse (Card Destruction Beatdown)

I wasn't aware of it at the time, but Jesse is apparently the local stud at Wizard's Asylum. From the little bit of information that I got later, I believe that he is the infamous CardDestroyer - ranked number one in Oklahoma and 132nd in North America. Well, Mr. CardDestroyer... I got three Killer Squirrels in my deck just waiting for you. Let's see if you can destroy 'em all.

Duel 1 - Jesse managed to get early damage on me by playing Tribute to the Doomed on my face down Squirrel, then summoning Harpie's Brother for direct damage. But I put up a steady stream of defenses and, eventually, ran his hand out. Finally, I got a Goblin Attack Force on the field to attack directly. After a few more exchanges, my Squirrels got the better of him.

Final Score: 4100-0

Duel 2 - I drew an insanely sweet hand to begin the duel. Unfortunately, it was all for naught as Jesse set a monster and two magic/and traps, then played Card Destruction (hey, they don't call him Card Destroyer for nothing!) I managed to stave his attack off temporarily with some Squirrel defense, but eventually his Jinzo overwhelmed me and pummeled me silly.

Final Score: 0-6000

Duel 3 - I chose to go first this time so Jesse couldn't use that ^#@! Card Destruction on my opening hand. Turned out to be a pretty decent gambit as I got some great defense cards on the field. After he attacked a facedown Squirrel, I managed to get The Fiend Megacyber on the field. I wore his life points down to 4800 before he was able to get Jinzo on the field and defeat my Fiend. However, I drew Fissure on my next move, so I got rid of his threat quickly enough. After a few turns, pandemonium ensued when Jesse attacked my Cyber Jar. He managed to pull La Jinn and Harpie's Brother, while I drew a Wall of Illusion (whew!). I also had what I thought was a pretty good hand at the time with Swords of Revealing Light and Change of Heart. But in his Main Phase 2, Jesse played Tribute to the Doomed on my Wall of Illusion, brought back Jinzo with Premature Burial, and then played Card Destruction (@$%^%!) Fortunately for me, however, Jesse made a tactical error when he played Card Destruction with no other cards in his hand, for he drew no new cards, and I drew five new ones, including Monster Reborn, Fissure, Dark Hole, and... Snatch Steal!!! Needless to say, I stole his Jinzo, Fissured his Harpie's Brother, attacked his La Jinn, then tweaked his nose for good measure (that last part was just a joke). So with 3300 life points, no monsters, a bunch of useless traps on the field, Jesse had one chance to draw a card to save himself from defeat.

Needless to say, it didn't happen.

Final Score: 8800-0

After the match, Jesse said something to the effect of "I can't believe I lost! I'm the best player here!" I was tempted to say something to the effect of "Well, that is a rather subjective statement, but if this match is any indication, you're actually the SECOND best player here." But I didn't.

Before the second round, I tried (without much success) to get some trading in. Most of the people just wanted to know how I beat Jesse. Well, it's great and all that I managed to tear down your local card god, but I really wanted to trade my extra Imperial Order. Oh well...

Second Round - BigSpooky vs. Jeff (Balanced Beatdown)

I was really not looking forward to this match. Jeff is a friend of Laurence and Lance who I had met a few times on occasion. They all belong to a local dueling alliance, so I knew that it wouldn't be an easy match to win. As it turned out, though, it was a rather easy match to lose...

Duel 1 - This match wasn't even pretty. He attacked my Squirrel right off the bat, but my Squirrel defense didn't last. Within a few turns, Jeff had his Jizo on the field, and was hacking away at my life points faster than I could put monsters on the field.

Final Score: 0-7500

Duel 2 - This duel went a whole lot better for me... up to a point. Jeff managed to get in a few early hits, but I held him off with a Squirrel defense. Plus, while I was gaining life points, he was attacking with Dark Elf and losing them. Thanks to a Fissure and a Snatch Steal, I built up a line of five monsters (including his Dark Elf). With his life points at 4400, a wall of monsters, and only one facedown defense card in my way, I declared an attack with the Dark Elf, saying "This is really going to hurt if that's a Cyber Jar..." I'll just conclude by saying that it was a Cyber Jar - one that gave me one monster and Jeff four monsters... as well as the match.

Final Score - 0-4400

Well, I figured that, even after beating Jesse, losing a match in two straight duels would keep me out of the octofinals. So I just decided to enjoy myself and duel with my toy deck... a combination Gaia Power/DNA Surgery deck.

Third Round - BigSpooky vs. Thomas (Newbie)

Thomas was brand spanking new to the game, so he hadn't really built a strong deck. He was pleasant enough, though. I'm just glad I didn't duel him with my tournament deck...

Duel 1 - There wasn't much to this duel. I had a Mysterious Puppeteer equipped with Lightning Blade, Overdrive, and Milus Radiant all on the field. He managed to defeat Milus Radiant and Fissured my Mysterious Puppeteer, but DNA Surgery and Limiter Removal turned my Overdrive and Giant Rat into uber-monsters, hitting Thomas for 6000 points.

Final Score: 9000-0

Duel 2 - This duel started with both of us placing numerous monsters in defense mode. Probably a bad strategy for me as Thomas summoned a Wingweaver onto the field. He did a pretty decent job of removing my units, until his Wingweaver hit my Electric Lizard. The one turn delay gave me the time to get Milus Radiant and Judge Man on the field. Once I played Gaia Power, the Judge Man finished off the Wingweaver and then the rest of Thomas's life points.

Final Score: 6750-0

After a bit of a wait, the octofinal pairings were announced... and I made it in. The bad news was that I had to face the only person in the place who had gone through the qualifying rounds without losing a duel...

Octofinals - BigSpooky vs. Ryan (Balanced Beatdown)

No... this is NOT the same Ryan who I throttled at Top Deck the day before. This Ryan was much nicer. Frankly, he was probably one of the nicest people in the place. I would rather not have faced him in the octofinals - not because I was worried that I couldn't win, but because I didn't want to see Ryan lose.

Duel 1 - This duel was way too close for comfort! Ryan started out by attacking my Squrrels to give me life points, but he slowly amassed an army to attack my life points directly. Fortunately, I was able to pull my Cyber Jar thanks to my fallen Sangan. But my Cyber Jar didn't show me any love as it gave Ryan FOUR 1800 attack monsters, and me a Magician of Faith and Gearfried. After attacking to remove my Gearfried and Magician of Faith, Ryan hit my life points directly for 3600... bringing me down to 200 (eep!) Fortunately, the Cyber Jar did give me Dark Hole, which I used to clear the field. I then summoned my White Magical Hat and attacked for direct damage and Relinquished (found out after the duel that his other cards was the Black Illusion Ritual... whew!) My White Magical Hat steadily chiseled away his life points (as well as any extra cards). One final summon of my Goblin Attack Force sealed the deal.

Final Score: 200-0

Duel 2 - This one went much faster. Ryan attacked my facedown Squirrels again. After he had sent two to the graveyard (and given me an extra 2000 life points in the process), I tributed my final Squirrel for Summoned Skull. I managed to clear the field, but a Fissure took my Summoned Skull out, and Ryan attacked my life points directly. But it was too little, too late as I brought back Summoned Skull with Monster Reborn. It and White Magical Hat did a number on Ryan's life points, finishing him off in about three turns.

Final Score: 7700-0

After the match, Ryan congratulated me on the win, saying that he wished that he could have matches like that all of the time. I tell you folks, I wish everyone was as good a sport as Ryan.

Quarterfinals - BigSpooky vs. Jesse (Card Destruction Beatdown)

Oh, great! Jesse again. Turns out that Jesse had to beat Jeff to make it into the elimination rounds... and he did it in two straight duels. Lemme see, I beat Jesse, Jeff beat me, Jesse beat Jeff. Good luck figuring that one out...

Duel 1 - I wish all of my duels against Jesse had gone this way. He played a Delinquent Duo early on and pulled my Dark Hole. Fortunately, he missed my Raigeki. I thumped him a few times for 3000 direct damage. He responded with a Raigeki of his own and a direct damage attack. Thank God for Waboku. Next turn, he attacked my Cyber Jar. This time fortune favored me as I pulled three monsters to Jesse's one. Plus, Jesse got a little trigger happy with Card Destruction again. Provided me with Gearfried, Monster Reborn, and Heavy Storm. After flipping my Magician of Faith to pull my Raigeki, I eliminated all of his cards from the field and attacked with five monsters for the win.

Final Score: 8000-0

Duel 2 - This one was so close it was insane. I don't think that Jesse and I were ever more than 2000 life points apart at any time in the duel. Anyhow, I made a tactical error near the end of the duel, when I Trap Holed his Witch of the Black Forest. That wasn't the error, but rather I saw that he pulled Goblin Attack Force. So, next turn, I foolishly played Premature Burial to bring back The Fiend Megacyber. Of course since the Goblin Attack Force has 100 more attack points, I ended up wasting my Premature Burial. I don't know if I had any cards in my graveyard that would've helped me, but I still should've looked a little more.

Final Score: 0-600

It was in the middle of this duel that some smart-alec little jerk came up and started trash talking me for absolutely no reason. He was making little comments like "Aren't you too old to be playing this game" and "I'm gonna flip this coin. If it's heads, Jesse wins. If it's tails, you lose". I know I should be a bigger person than to let him get under my skin, but he was rather the pest. I was extremely tempted to say something to the effect of:

"Listen, you little pipsqueak, I've already taken Jesse three duels out of four, which is something that I doubt you'll ever accomplish. But if you think you can handle me, then stick around and I'll show you a Yu-Gi-Oh! butt-whooping the likes of which you've never seen. And just to make it interesting, we'll both put our decks on the line! You hear me shrimp?!? It's time to put up or shut up!!!"

But I didn't... I'm a people person!

[Man! Whiny,snotty-nosed, know-it-all, little bratpunks sure get under my skin!]

Duel 3 - If any match could be called a see-saw, this would be it. After me dominating the first duel, then the incredibly close second duel, it was Jesse's turn to dominate. And that he did. I won't go into too much detail (mainly because I'm tired of typing), suffice to say he had me at 2000 life points and no monsters on the field. In a last-ditch effort, I played my Cyber Jar facedown. When it flipped on his attack, Jesse got three 1800 attack monsters and his Gemini Elf, and I got... a Magician of Faith. Check and Mate.

Final Score: 0-8000

Jesse was a much better sport this time, talking about how it was a great match and such. Well, you're right Jesse... it was a great match. And you won it fair and square. Congrats and good luck!

But just remember... I'll be back... and so will my Squirrels!

Well, I did get a consolation prize of one Pharoah Servant pack. And I pulled a Monster Recovery. Great... now I can afford to have that kidney operation... yippee.

Props:
Jesse - for beating me in a hard fought battle (hey! I give credit where credit is due)

Jeff - for teaching me a little humility

Thomas and Ryan - for hard fought duels, and being courteous and polite

Ryan - for being a paragon of true sportsmanship

Wizard's Asylum - for hosting a really decent match play tournament

Slops:
Jesse - for moping after I won our first match

The little bratpunk who kept annoying me - if it's not your duel, then SHUT UP and let the REAL duelists battle

Wizard's Asylum - do you think you could make this an official tournament

Bad Sports - i.e. the opposite of Ryan

Thieves - This is something that really just sucks: as I was getting ready to leave, one of the kids had his deck stolen. It was an Exodia deck with all the bells and whistles (which is probably worth about $400).

If you are the little slimeball that stole the deck, then read these words VERY carefully - What you have done is reprehensible. If anyone ever discovers that you stole that deck, and I find out about it, I will personally make sure that you don't reach puberty. And if you don't think that I am serious about that, then just try me. I'm probably a lot bigger than you, and I'm certainly a lot meaner.

I hate thieves with every fiber of my being!

They're even worse than little bratpunks!

Comments, suggestions, death threats? Send them to BigSpooky1@hotmail.com. Please do not send me offers to trade cards... I don't have that many good extras, and the ones I do are in high enough demand here in Oklahoma.

I'm also available for online duels in Pojo's Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelist League. E-mail me if you would like to duel sometime. Non-ladder duels only please... those ladder duelists are way too uptight.