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The Cards That You Love to Hate By Pook Alright, this is an article that I KNOW will spark some hate mail. Please, please, PLEASE, don’t hate mail me – remember, I’m the lovable scamp to pokes fun at everything. ^_^ This week’s entry is “The Cards That You Love to Hate” – I will give you my top three cards that give me NOTHING but grief. And these are three very popular cards, so I’m sure that many of you have been on the receiving end of at least one of these. Let’s start with number three, the every loathe-able Jinzo. You know you hate this card too, even if you play it. There is just something so deliciously evil about this card, so much so that even when you play it you feel guilty. I, personally, don’t play one. Heck, I refuse to even OWN one. Looking at it makes me feel dirty all over. It’s just a good thing you can’t use this card in combination with Imperial Order, because then, you might have to go on a twelve-state killing spree (NOTE: please do NOT go on an any state killing spree, let alone twelve). Jinzo should be dismantled by top government scientists. And why can’t trap be played when it’s on the field? The Terminator fell into several traps over his three-movie career. Even the Androids from Dragonball Z were susceptible to traps. But no, Jinzo laughs at your traps. He says (in binary, more than likely), “Your traps are worthless, puny human!” Someone should turn Jinzo into an answering machine. Number two is so hard to hate, because it is sorta named after my favorite Japanese song of all time – Yata-Garasu. Man, this little bird is a PAIN! I used to have a bird, a parakeet named Chuckles, and the worst thing he ever did was chirp a lot (however, I did later find out I was allergic to him and had to give him away, but that was pretty mean of him, too). You know what card should be made to counteract Yata? “Scarecrow”. Or maybe a spell card called “Cage” or perhaps “Birdfeeder”. There is only one thing worse than being at 8000LP and slowing getting killed in a lock for the next 40 turns (yes, that’s how long it takes for Yata to completely kill you), and that “honor” is saved for the number one card… Now the past two cards are often the topic of much discussion, but there is one card usually overlooked by whiners like me, but I have been subject to this card over and over and over and over and over and OVER again! It’s maddening!!!!!! What, pray tell, is this most horrific card? This monstrosity is………………………………DROP OFF! Man this card gets me mad!!! There is nothing more emasculating than reaching for a card, only to have your opponent play this, immediately sending it to the graveyard. If Jinzo is good for one thing only, it is good for negating this evil trap. EVIL, I tells ya! My friend has three of this card, and then he’d Fiber Jar me, and then he’d play them three more times, then he’s Fiber Jar, etc. It was a vicious cycle. It….just….gets….me……steamed!!! ::Hulks out:: POOK SMASH! ::returns to normal:: Oh, sorry about that. But yeah, Drop Off, how I loathe thee. This is as mean as cards get, and that’s why I hate it (yes, from a tactical standpoint, it is an amazing card, but to be on the receiving end is a nightmare). I’m sure most people have felt the torture of being Dropped Off, but few have been as scarred as I have. And it only hurts more now that I’ve shared this with all of you. Well, I’m off to go cry. Be sure to check out next week’s article, because it will be my last East Coast post – it is official, I am moving to California next Monday. w00t!!!1 Until then. ^_^
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