The Dangers Of Insomnia-Reviews Of EVERY Card In FET! ---------- Original Message ---------------------------------- From: SeanoOfTheDead@aol.com Date: Sat, 2 Apr 2005 04:43:57 EST I just finished watching the best movie ever (Sin City) and am too wired to go to sleep, so instead I'm fulfilling my amazingly sad dream of being a cotd guy by giving my review of EVERY card in Flaming Eternity. I think I have a pretty good idea of what cards are good and what aren't and am very opened minded as to various uses for cards, rentsy as they may be. And thus I give to you, the zenith of insomnia! SPACE MAMBO Why would you ever run this instead of Gagagigo? Really, I defy you to think of a reason. I take that back, a reason other than how cool this card looks. But Gagagigo isn't that much less cool looking. 1/10 DIVINE DRAGON RAGNAROK This is another really lame monster, except this one serves a slight purpose as it is necessary to fuse for King Dragun. Still, there are always better ways, including a great new one from this series, The Dark-Hex Sealed Fusion. I suggest using that or at least a Fusion Sub, or Metamorphosis or something. Normal Polymerization fusions are almost always the worst way. 1.5/10 CHU-SKE THE MOUSE FIGHTER Now I'll tell you this, next set this card is actually going to get quite a bit of support, so don't forget about him just yet. However as of now he serves no purpose. Beasts really only benefit from Enraged Battle Ox, who also works with Sonic Duck another level 3 monster but with 500 more ATK. As of now... 1/10 INSECT KNIGHT AH! Finally Insect decks get what they so desperately needed: a solid draw. Insect decks are kind of like books that have always had the pages (what's important) but lacked the binding to hold them together. Insect Knight is that binding. Seriously, this guy rockets Insects toward playablility. Just imagine you've just Creature Swapped a monster for your Pinch Hopper. You tribute that monster for Insect Princess, who attacks Pinch Hopper. Pinch's effect goes off letting you special summon this guy for ANOTHER 1900 attack, plus Princess is now at Jinzo level. Other than that he's just another 1900 4 star Earth monster that noobs will love because he's sooo strong and completely miss his potential, but I'm telling you, with the right strategy, cards and this guy Insect decks may soon become pretty damn good. For that alone... 7/10 SACRED PHOENIX OF NEPHTHYS What hasn't been said about this yet? It's wretchedly easy to bring out thanks to Hand of Nephthys (though this makes Phoenix a very lame draw) and Scapegoats, and Hand is wretchedly easy to get out thanks to Apprentice Magician (or eve Flying kamakiri #1) it's effect is gawd. But people, PLEASE don't start vomitting this ino EVERY deck. It's going to heavy Storm every time it ressurects itself. CONSIDER THAT! It's fire, which offers no synergy in almost any deck except for burn, to which it already extends a middle finger thanks to my last concer. CONSIDER THAT! But that aside, don't let anyone tell you this isn't one of the most powerful and potentially devastating cards in the game, it is. 9/10 HAND OF NEPHTHYS This and anything claiming to be a monster (even scapegoats, though not on the same turn) get Phoenix of Nephthys out of your hand OR deck. Essential to a deck intending on truly abusing Phoenix, or even gently abusing Phoenix, or even running Phoenix. And it can be caught with Apprentice Magician, a good monster despite the loss of Magical Scientist thanks to Magician of faith's return. 8/10 ULTIMATE INSECT LV.5 A crappy effect in the first place, that only occurs if it was summoned by Ult. Insect Lv.3, which sucks more. I don't particualrly care for using the level monsters the way they were intended too be used, I find each set has one useful one that can be brought out on it's own and be manipulated in more useful ways to be good. This one can't. Pretty much none of the Ultimate Insects are very good, and this is no exception. sure it will be very hard to beat this thing ATK wise, but just as easy to kill it any other way (the ways tribute monsters are usually killed anyway) and it only gets this efect if you put up with the last two Insects long enough. 3.5/10 SILENT SWORDSMAN LV.5 Remember how I said each Level line has one monster that actually is useful by itself? Well this is it for the Silent Swordsmen. The effect is wonderful for a 2300 ATK monster, better even than Horus Lv.6. And it can be used just like any tribute monster (plus it's level 5, which rocks because it can be morphed into Dark Balter the Terrible). However, do not waste your time on the other Swordsmen, they blow in all sorts of ways. However, on it's own this is a worthwhile card. Horus 6 does have it beat for Premature Burial though (if Burial gets destroyed Swordsman would die also, but horus wouldn't) 7.5/10 GRANMARG THE ROCK MONARCH I was excited about this guy until I tried him out. He just isn't worth it when you really think about his effect. Basically you'll probably only want to use the effect on monsters so you don't risk wasting it on a chainable Spell/Trap. So then why not use Zaborg? There is no reason, that's why. Not bad, just inferior to Zaborg and Mobius. If you want versatility go to Raigeki Break or Phoenix Wing Wind Blast. However, next set we get Rock support, so Granmarg may make his stand yet. For now... 6/10 ELEMENT VALKYRIE Though Valkyrie does look cool, she gets the low end of the element abilities. The fire ablilty is nice, except it means you need a substantial amount of fire monsters to get it (or Homonculus the Alchemic Being, which is a good idea if your run many Element cards no matter what) the water ability blows ahrd. no one wants your wimpy 1500 ATK monster. Maybe if it gets the fire effect, but then you need substantial fire AND water. Lame. 4/10 ELEMENT DOOM More than anything, I simply must point out thats this guy ets a half a point for being one of the top 5 coolest monsters in this game. That aside, Doom gets the good effects. If you could get Hayabusa Knight and Blater in one little package you have a beast on your hand. Boost him up for more fun. The problem is, Fiend decks have maybe one remotely playable earth monster (Earthbound Spirit. I said remotley) and the earth effect is granted more easily thru Dark Rule Ha Des anyway. The wind effect can be achieved thanks to Slate Warrior, but that alone doesn't make him too viable. A dedicated Element deck would love to have this guy though. I'd definitely say he's the best Element. 6.5/10 MAJI-GIRE PANDA Well, the big probelm is how long is this guy gonna stay on the field to build up his effect, and how long will your opponent tolerate it while conciously building up the effect? And why is it worth it when it will take 2 beasts dying (the most he'll probably ever see) just to get him to be a Berserk Gorilla, a monster with every purpose this guy has. Sadly, this guy is not nearly as useful as his buddy Gyaku Geri Panda. Though he too is getting a half point for bitchin art. 3/10 CATNIPPED KITTY If you're really afraid of high DEF monsters by all means go for Ninja Grandmaster Sasuke. Sure you can make a Marauding Captain-esque lock with this guy, but would you want too? It's not like the lock is going to send his strong monsters into DEF mode in fear or anything. Plus the art is so creepy, why would you want to look at it? And it promotes drug use. Among kittys. Which can't be tolerated. 2/10 (lost a half point for corruption of feline youth) I need some caffeine... BEHEMOTH THE KING OF ALL ANIMALS What a name. I feel bad reviewing this guy because I feel like he has some potentially devastating combo that I just can't think of. I know one combo from another CCG tipper, but I can't say it's too practical, it basically goes like this: PREP- either Rescue Kitty ready to be revived or protected from last turn (2 cards), two level 3 or lower beasts in deck (4 cards, though easy so I won't count them anymore), Behemoth, Graceful Charity/Cheerful Coffin, and 2 Manticore of Darkness (6 cards). Offer Kitty to fetch the two beasts from your deck, activate Graceful/Coffin and toss the two manticores. Offer you two new beasts on field for Behemoth. Return the two offered beasts to your hand, then discard them to ressurect the two Manticores. You no have 2 2300 monsters and a 2700. For 6 cards. I think Exodia may be a little easier. Still, I suppose this card has some use even with it's obvious implementations, but not a lot. 5.5/10 BIG TUSKED MAMMOTH I'm pretty sure this guy is trumped by Spirit Reaper in every way. Maybe in a stall deck as another line of defense, but I seriously doubt this will ever last long enough to make that tribute worthwhile. 3.5/10 KANGAROO CHAMP *sigh* A beast version of Bite Shoes, just what I've been dying for for years. 1/10 HYENA It's like a beast version of Nimble Momonga, without the lifepoint gain. Wait Nimble Momonga is a beast. 1/10 (plus a manic flying squirrel owns a seen from the lion king every day of the week for free) BLADE RABBIT Alright, this guy falls into a category with two other monsters: Dream Clown and Swarm of Scarabs. Dream is a warrior (big time kudos) that has basically the same effect and higher ATK (not high, but actually useable). Scarabs is an insect (good for swarming) with similar stats, but can not only use it's effect every turn, it can also keep itself in DEF mode at the end of each turn. So basically we're getting the combined crappy parts of both of these two useable monsters witha wierd picture? 1/10 MECHA DOG MARRON FINALLY a neat card again. The effect aplies to all effects, so you could chain a Call of the haunted to this guy and get in some decent damage to your opponent (assuming Jinzo wasn't dead). Also when this guy dies from Limiter Removal you get in another 1000 damage (which really makes a good Limiter attack hard to survive) It's also light, so meh, Chaos sucks, blah. Overall a nifty card that may see it's use quite a bit more than you'd expect. In a burn deck that CotH trick would be really funny too (oh no, not my worst fear S/T destruction, oh wait, MORE BURN! SUCK IT!) 6.5/10 BLAST MAGICIAN WHAT a dissapointment. My favorite looking card ever is SO lame. If this guy just had Magical marionette's effect he would be honey sweet, but as he is, just stay away. marionette is so much better and so much more fun to play (one fo my favs). But for the art and being a fire spellcaster (kudos for rentsyness)... 3/10 CHIRON THE MAGE Now this is a cool monster that should definitely be considered for the side deck (against burn) and main deck for beastdown (which of course hates S/T). Trashing a spell sounds harh, but just think of it as having the option to replace any spell in your deck with another MST on the fly. And you know there all sorts of times when Nobleman, Smashing Ground and Lightning Vortex are just nothing to you (especially if your facing no monsters and some madening face-down S/T, oh thats the worst!) Really really think about using this guy. I think he's just a few notches below Breaker (especially in the art department) 9/10 GEARFRIED THE SWORDMASTER Well, I do hate monsters that can only be brought out one way, and that doesn't stop here. This guy needs not only equips to be good (ick) but also Gearfried the Iron Knight (who can't use those equips) still there are some tricks for getting around this and I even wrote a terrible article on it in the March '05 CCG tips section, so check that if you're interested as it's 3 in the morning and I don't feel like talking about it again. But still, very hard to get out and use effectively. 5.5/10 ARMED SAMURAI-BEN KEI A neat looking card with a neat sounding effect. The miserable base ATK is the only reason this card isn't beastly. Still, one Axe of Despair makes him a 1500 Hayabusa Knight, Another makes him a triple attacking Summoned Skull. Did you just get a lump in your throat because I did. slap Twin Swords of Flashing Light on and this 2000 ATK monster can attack _FOUR_TIMES_. This guy can get really scary with the right treatment, like Raging Flame Sprite scary, just with a lot more work. An extremely neat and interesting card. 6.5/10 SHADOWSLAYER Who would have ever expected to see a revamped Dark Assailant? Not me. Well he definitely looks cool, definitely has a cool name, and is definitely the best conditional direct attacker in my opinion. Plus he's a feind, for which I have a soft spot. More set monsters in Advanced means this guy can turn your opponent's cute little bluff and extend two middle fingers. Which is nice. 6.8/10 GOLEM SENTRY This guy is comparable to Swarm of Scarabs, so I'll use that as a basis for my analysis. Scarabs' effect is obviously better as it kills the monster instead of just ignoring it for a turn, however this guy actually has a respectable stat, it's relatively high DEF. Not only does this make him safer, but also a great surprise should your opponent be getting used to you playing Scarabs. Also, next set loves rocks, and this guy will be a good candidate for that. Till then I give it a ... 6.25/10 ABARE USHIONI Bad stats, a beast warrior (inferior to beasts and warriors) and only possible burn, with just a likely self burn. And not much burn at that. I dunno, I suppos he could do you get considering that you can use his effect repeatedly, but I really fon't see burn decks liking this guy anywhere near as much as Stealth Bird. Though I suppose you could try him as a supplement. 4/10 THE LIGHT HEX SEALED FUSION I like the Hex Fusions, effectively being a both a Fusion sub AND a Polymerization for the small costs of only being able to get monsters of a certain attribute (small) and for also needing all monsters on the field (bigger). The main flaw though with this card is that I can't think of any worthwhile light fusions off hand (St. Joan and Ojama King [which is still terribly hard] are all I can think of). And so, this crad with great potential gets... 2.75/10 THE EARTH HEX SEALED FUSION See above. Master of Oz is hinestly all that's coming to mind. 2.75/10 THE DARK HEX SEALED FUSION Wheras every good fusion I can think of is dark. Balter, TER, Dark Blade, Gatling Dragon, King Dragun, etc. 7.75/10 WHIRLWIND PRODIGY Now you can finally get out that two tribute wind monster you've been dying to use. 1/10 FLAME RULER Thi guy looks so gnarly. He'll help with Hellflame Emperor (the Ultra from the upcoming fire structure deck) though regardless that monster is useless. Other than that he's just as wonderful as Whirlwind Prodigy 1.2/10 FIREBIRD Maji-Geri Panda for Harpy Decks, hmm... oh I know! 2/10 RESCUE CAT This nifty little kitty has some neat combos. Get out those last two Three-Hump lacoodas to draw three cards (this the deck by 2, plus draw three, that is extremely nice!) or the last two Ojamas for Delta Hurricane (uh, extremely nice?) get out some easy tributes for Behemoth, or any double tribute for that matter, give a quick boost to Cannon Soldier, United We Stand,Big March of the Animals etc. All kinds of ginchy stuff. And it eats babies, you can see it in it's eyes! 7/10 BRAIN JACKER A less costly monster version of Snatch Steal. Well obviously it's highly comparable, and should you get it to work twice as nice. The thing is it's much slower and harder to do and honestly good players rarely let Snatch Steal sit around long enough for the lifepoint gain to even happen (except for maybe a wierd Bad Reaction to Simochi deck, in which case this is less effective) so mostly this card is highly inferior. But remember, Snacth is restricted and this is very high on the (short) list of replacements so far, so if you really like that stuff, give it a shot and see. But next set this card get's spanked into the realm of the obsolete by Brain Control. 5.75/10 GATLING DRAGON Blowback Dragon (maybe my favorite tribute monster) starts making passionate love to Dark Hex-Sealed Fusion. Actually this guy is deceptive. Not only does he go back to only killing monsters with his effec (however potentially massive) he also has to destroy a monster for EACH heads NO MATTER WHAT! You're not gonna need to kill 3 monsters very often and lots of times I foresee Gtaling having to kill himself (again, not being able to destroy S/Ts hurts) so you must be EXTREMELY careful about when to use it's effect. And ALWAS use it BEFORE you summon anything that turn. The other huge prupose of this card is that you can now morph our opponent's Black Luster Soldier into something passably useful (but use BLS's effect first) which alone makes this a staple in nay morph deck. 7.5/10 KING DRAGUN As lovely as this can be for dragons once it's out (and it really really is) focussing on getting this out AND focusng on dragon swarming is really stretching yourself thin, each takes too many contradictory means. Still, with DHSF this guy can be alot of nasty fun in a dragon deck (hell, maybe you can try for Fiend Skull Dragon also... 6.2/10 A FEATHER OF THE PHOENIX As versatile as this cards claims to be (alright, it is) let's just do a little math. You get one card (+1) but you use Feather itself (0) a discard (-1) and you lose a draw phase (-2) Folks, -2 is like hitting yourself with elinquent Duo (read, stoopid) plus this is so slow you'll only use it right when you pull it for some fringe benefit card like Pot of Greed (which is coincidentally about the only thing worth grabbing with this) since its too slow to actually save you from anything. If you want versatility there's a MUCH better phoenix related card coming up soon, and I can't wait... 4/10 POISON FANGS Uh, maybe for beats burn? Actually this crad does meld very nicely with the beast trampling theme. Well enough too actually use? Myabe, but don't overdo it, one's most likely enough, if any. 5/10 SPELL ABSORPTION Pretty much only useful in Fire Princess decks, since you'll likely be using a lot of health increase spells anyway (Mystik Wok, Poison of the Old man, etc.) otherwise a pitiful life gain card compared to the previous two mentioned. 2.8/10 LIGHTNING VORTEX Ah, the most hotly desired card of the series. I won't try to tell you this card isn't good, it is. But Raigeki it ain't. This will definitely help and should probably be in your deck, but there will be times when you wish it was a Smashing Ground, and more than you think. Remember folks, how many face-up monsters do we see at a time anymore? Still, this is hardly drawbakck enough not too at least side deck it. But seriously, deck this. Zombie Swarm is coming hard and it pees it's musty little panties at this card. 8.8/10 METEOR OF DESTRUCTION Not a bad little burn here at all. Please don't run three though, any kind of good burn deck won't keep your opponent over 3000 LP for very long and the last thing taht deck wants is a dead draw. Still, 1000 LP is 1/8 of your life. Not an ignorable amount folks. 6.7/10 SWORDS OF CONCEALING LIGHT Despite the oxymoronic name, the ultimate rare version of this card is nothing short of beautiful. You really should try to get a look at one, it's very badass. The effect however, not so much so. Sure it's more stall, which is a very valid use for it in stall based decks. But notice that it only switches the position of monsters on the field WHEN ITS ACTIVATED. After that your opponent just can't change his monsters' modes for two turns, which means nothing to freshly summoned monsters. Still Book of Mooning ALL of your opponents face-up monsters at once is pretty fierce under lots of circumstances. This card would be amazing if it were a quick play, totally replacing Book of Moon I'd say. But as it is use mostly if your deck actually needs more Swords of Revealing Light. Book of Moon and Windstorm of Etaqua are generally more solid I think. 6.7/10 SPIRAL SPEAR STRIKE DAMN YOU UPPER DECK FOR MAKING THIS REDICULOUS CARD A RARE AND GIVING IT TO ME IN SO MANY OF MY PACKS!!!!!!!!! Guys never use this card, under nay cicumstance, ever. I really shouldn't have to explain why. -10/10 RELEASE RESTRAINT Well, this is obviously as useful as Swordmaster himself. You can really only get it by drawing it, which always sucks. I suppose it's always Chiron food. Yay. Swordmaster/10 CENTRIFUGAL FIELD I suppose this card would be great if anyone played Fusions right. luckily DHSF still work swoth this as it would let you get back the other monster used in the hexed fusion. Does this make this continuous spell worthwhile? Does it stop your opponent from leaving it on your field knowing it will only help you once and from then on just waste a S/T slot? No. 2.5/10 RE-FUSION Another Premature Burial but only for Fusions... *sigh* t's late and I just don't care enough to humor this card. It's not Spiral Spear Strike bad, but it still isn't worth a deck slot. Unless you're REALLY into your morph deck, maybe. 3.8/10 THE BIG MARCH OF ANIMALS Meh. Like A-Forces for Beats, but not continuous, but is quick-play. Oh wait, A-Forces isn't that good. I dunno, Beastdown may like one of these, but you're probably too pressed for space to indulge one in your deck. One shot ATK boosts no matter how big, are generally not too worthwhile. It doesgain from being useable when your opponent attacks you, as well as getting a boost from Scapegoat, Rescue Kitty and Nimble Momonga. So I repeat, meh... 4.8/10 CROSS COUNTER God, you can give up upperdeck, we aren't going to start using high DEF monsters no matter how many variants of this card you cram down our throats. And making them rare is just fueling our berserker rage. If you can think of any reason to run a bout four monsters with high DEF in your deck you go right a head and try this card, otherwise use Legendary Jujitsu master, Des Kangaroo, Thousand Needles, etc. 2/10 POLE POSITION Another card to be very careful with. The main fault with this crad is that you need to waste your own removal to control when it gets destroyed. You don't want your opponent to choose obviously. Honestly I don't really feel like this card is worth it. And I'm too tired to humor it. 2/10 PENALTY GAME! Man, Invader of Chaos is still on card art. Well, needing your opponent to not only have more than three cards in his hand but exactly four makes this a tricky card to use, especially if you're shooting for the second effect, so don't get much hope set on that. And the second effect is called time seal ladies and gents. 1.3/10 THREATENING ROAR Poor Threatening Roar, such potential dashed by the fact that Waboku is just slightly superior to it. This is in no way a bad card, just use up your Waboku first, then if you really need more stall go to this as it really is hardly noticeable how less effective this is than Waboku. This is a hard card to rate beacuse of this. I hate it when good cards are obsolete becasue of better cards with most of the exact same uses *cough*chaossorceror*cough*BLSshouldneed2lightand2darktoberemoved* cough* 1/10 just because it's gonns be really hard to find a deck in need of more than three Wabokus PHOENIX WING WIND BLAST YES! I finally get to my favorite card in this set! I loved Raigeki Break and I adore this card because it actually evens out the advantage/disadvantage ratio batter than Geki break. This card is like versatility in a bottle. A serpent in hand and this on the field should make you feel pretty safe in that anything that comes out is going back... all the way back, and chances are your opponent will be pissed about it. This thing extends countless middle fingers toward BLS and it makes me giddy with scornful glee thinking about it. Seriously, try this card, it's nothing short of loverly for control of any kind. 9/10 (bias, so sue me) GOOD GOBLIN HOUSEKEEPING Was it really necessary to semi-restrict this? Maybe if it didn't have the discarding effect. So what, now you don't even have the off chance of getting advantage out of a trap card? Yeah, you sure put us in our place upperdeck. Just ban BLS already. 3/10 (why this gets semi-ed and Airknight runs around without a care baffles me, oh god but don't jinx it *knocks on wood*) BEAST SOUL SWAP Well, I guess you could use an elaborate hand setup involving Behemoth to get a 7 star beast out for one tribute, a trap and lots of disadvantage. Yay, all those 7 star beasts other than Behemoth. 1/10 ASSAULT ON GHQ This card is getting a smidge too close to Two-Pronged Attack for my tastes. I doubt you'll ever have a monster that's less important than killing the top two cards of your opponent's deck. I guess in response to control stealers, but i personally like Mystik Wok more, and I don't know why. Meh, maybe side deck material, but as long as Don Zaloog stays unrestricted this guys's pretty useless. It's not this effect that people like Don for anyway. 2/10 D.D. DYNAMITE I could swear we already had this card. Oh well, This card could be cool, if say you ran a XYZ burn deck or something. Decks that remove alot of their own monsters from play generally don't care much about small time burn, and vice-versa. Can't say this card is too useful. 1.5/10 DECK DEVASTATION VIRUS This card looks cool as hell. It's much harder to use than Crush Card (you know that card we've been denied since, oh about the beginning of this game) but in certain decks it can be useful and against certain decks it's attrocious. Exodia, stall, burn, Flame Sprite, all hate this card with a fiery passion. The main problem is the lack of strog enough Dark monsters that are worth using and yet worth ditching for this effect. The only really good man for the job, is your hero and mine, Zombyra the Dark. And it just happens that warriors may get a kick out of this card easing their job of speedy beatdown. Remember folks, this card let's you peel back your opponent's face and see everything going on inside his head for three turns. That alone is worth the tribute, plus the dead little monsters is all gravy baby. 8/10 ELEMENTAL BURST God if I see one Homonculous deck that actually thinks it has an excuse to run this I may have to go play "Let's Drink The Stuff Under The Sink". This is in no way ever going to work ever. Ever. 0/190 (that was a typo, but I'll leave it) FORCED CEASEFIRE First of all, kudos to Konami for coming up with the most unoriginal idea for a card art/name ever *clap* As for the effect, discarding sucks, that's why people dislike Magic Jammer for the most part. If this card kept the 1000 LP cost of seven tools it would be a whole different story, but a discard really sucks. Pluas it's not a counter trap, omething I'd kind of expect for something like this. Last, most decks run maybe 4-5 traps. How many of those do you think are coming out on one turn? Overall, I'd have to say that this stupid card is less useful that Seven Tools of the Bandit. And that it's stupid as hell. And that I'm done. 2.5/10 Well, it's now 4:30, hope you actually found use in my reviews, now go out and see the best movie ever, SIN CITY! And take your kids, you yellow bastards!