My apologies to Upperdeck for making this list, but I feel it has to be done. A couple people may not know the original names of some cards, and it actually does explain why some card effects work like they do (I'll explain later when we get to the list itself). Now, I must say that Upperdeck must have had their reasons, and strong reasons indeed, for dubbing certain card names as they have. The primary one is to avoid lawsuits from the likes of Wizards of the Coast, or others. But seriously, they could have come up with better names than these. And here they are...


10: Harpies Brother
       Someone made a list earlier of "the most ridiculous cards," and that individual mentioned this monster's name. He had a point; since when did Harpy Lady have a brother? And why don't they even look alike? Well, children, I can explain: in the Japanese game, HE'S NOT A HARPY! He's called "Birdman" in Japan, and I'm sure some of you may remember a "Bird-Man" created by Hanna-Barberra a few decades ago as a cartoon short character. I'm sure Upperdeck was trying to avoid a lawsuit here, but to call him a harpy almost completely botches up the harpy theme. For one thing, Pet Dragon cannot be powered up by him, and many people may wonder why. Well, here's your answer. (And just so you know, in case you don't, the harpies are originally from Greek mythology. They were not young, beautiful bird-women- they WERE bird-women, but not young and beautiful- and they did not have a pet dragon.)

9: The Unfriendly Amazon
       Another monster that botches up a theme. She is originally called "The Friend-Slaying Knightress," and you can tell right away why Upperdeck changed her name. ...But to call her an Amazon completely ruined the dubbing for the rest of the cards. All but one, Amazon Archer, a TRUE Amazon. That's why you never see in the effect text for cards like Dramatic Rescue that Unfriendly Amazon can activate so-and-so's effect: because she's not a real Amazon. Why couldn't they just call her something like... Unfriendly Knightress?? (BTW, I like the original name for Amazoness Spellcaster; Amazon Gypsy. What's wrong with gypsies? We are playing with demons, aren't we? -more on that later.)

8: Mystical Space Typhoon
       One of many "Mystical" cards; this was one of the first. Its original name is "Cyclone," which is just what it is! Why did they have to change this one? Were they perhaps avoiding a lawsuit from Wizards? Is there a Magic: The Gathering card named Cyclone? Heck, it wouldn't surprise me... but they seriously could have come up with a shorter name for it. ....Twister, maybe? (And props go out to the guy who, in one of his lists, mentioned the fact that "Eject" is now "Compulsory Evacuation Device." Can they make any longer names for obvious cards?)

7: Dark Ruler Ha Des (to name a few)
       Okay. I have serious issues with this name... He's Dark Ruler Hades, and you cannot escape this fact. For that matter, I'm also peeved with the name Airknight Parshath, who is actually based off another character of Greek mythology, Perseus. Now I know why they changed Hades to Ha Des; to keep the Devil out of this game, right? HA! If they were really that fixed on taking out the whole demonic theme, then at least half of this game would be banned. Anyway, why this stuff really ticks me off is because I'm a myth buff, okay? Call me a theologist, if you want; I love myths and religions. I'm fascinated by all of them, and the old Greek myths are one of my top favorites. So whenever I see drastic changes like this, I freak... only because, they're not so quick to change the EGYPTIAN mythological characters! I mean, come on! Since when was this game biased?

6: The Luster Dragons
       Oh, they had to see this coming! It was bad enough they changed Emerald Dragon (whose name is so obvious) to Luster Dragon; but when Sapphire Dragon was changed to Luster Dragon, everybody got confused as to which one was which. Couldn't they have at least numbered them from the get-go? And what's wrong with the names Emerald and Sapphire anyway? Are we against jewels now, or is it because they make the dragons seem feminine? If that's the case, then why don't you just ban all female monsters from the game? …Okay, now I need to calm down.

5: ALL of the Valkyrie cards
       "Who are the Valkyries?" you ask. Well, does the name "Dark Witch" ring a bell? Yep, she was the first Valkyrie; one of what is soon going to be a series of monsters, just like the harpies and amazons. And of course you all know Dunamis Dark Witch, right? Well, in the original game, she's "Dunamis Valkyria," which was probably (or probably not) changed to avoid confusion with Valkyrion, The Magnet Warrior. Valkyrion, meanwhile, was not changed at all. Why? That's what I want to know; WHY do ANY of the monsters have to be changed? Well, Upperdeck better get ready; from what I hear, there is going to be a new series of Valkyrie-related cards. They better not get butchered.

4: The "Black" Cards
They must be thinking that they're going to offend some people by re-naming just about every card with the word "Black" in it. Black Hole is now Dark Hole; Red-Eyes Black Dragon has "Black" shortened to a mere "B." And I know it doesn't end there… Does anybody know whom I'm talking about when I say "Black Magician?" [Oh, yes; all Dark Magician cards were originally Black.] Oh, speaking of Black Hole; if they were so sensitive on the whole black and white thing, then why does White Hole get to keep its name? [Just so you know, the word "Black" is kept in some cards- Black Pendant for one, and there will be more. I'm just not sure why there had to be "Dark" cards instead of the obvious "Black."]

3: The "Des" Monsters
"Des" is actually a French word meaning "Death." Why, then, are they using it to replace the English word "Death" in monster names? This game is really about you killing your opponent's monsters; why then are they trying to hide the idea of death? Is it, perhaps, too violent for their younger audience to say the word "Death" or "Dead?" Maybe we should stop kids from saying "I now kill your monster!" altogether.

2: Tidbits
These are names that seemed to be unnecessarily renamed, and they're all at random:
A Legendary Ocean = The Legendary City Atlantis (Hello! It's right there in the picture!)
Big Bang Girl = Fire Princess (It just doesn't sound like they're the same girl)
Fairy King Trusdale = King of Faeries Oberon (Shakespeare must be rolling in his grave)
Sinister Serpent = Killer Snake (Just one of many "Deadly" or "Killer" monsters whose names suggested that they'd actually kill somebody.)
Shadow Tamer = Demon Tamer (Makes more sense now, doesn't it? Nobody can tame a shadow!)
Mystical Knight Jackal = Jackal Paladin (Isn't it so sad that he came out just before they OK'd the term "Paladin?")
Feral Imp = Gremlin (Uhh… Imps and gremlins are totally different creatures- And yes, they are going to change its upgraded version, Death Gremlin, to Des Feral Imp)

1: The Angel and Demon Themes
This is the absolute worst dubbing of cards ever. All of the original Angel types are now Fairies, and all Demon types are Fiends. Perhaps I'm being a little too touchy here, but I can't stand the fact that they edited the angels and demons just to make soccer moms happy. Why take away a demons' horns when you know it's a demon? Why take away an angel's halo when you know it's an angel? And why would Petit Angel get to keep its name when so many of its cousins don't? These are just a few tidbits I have, and I have my reason. My reason is this: Upperdeck is trying to make this game suitable for children, because they ant children to be the main audience. I need to speak out by saying that the original Yu-Gi-Oh!- its manga, its anime, and its trading card game- were all aimed at teens and adults. Now, if Upperdeck were as smart as Wizards (sorry, Upperdeck), they would aim this game and its show and its manga at the adults. Then, they wouldn't have to worry about all of the editing and name-changing. Moms and Dad wouldn't have to worry about their kids joining a cult and playing with demons and angels. Nobody would care, because adults know the difference between real life and a card game. It's just that simple.


So this is my deck of ten horribly dubbed cards or card themes. My apologies go to Upperdeck for sounding too offensive; I can understand how hard a business they're in. They have to avoid lawsuits from every corner; the only point I had to make was that for these cards, and others (forgive me if there was a card or theme I overlooked), they could have done a better job in renaming them. Maybe in the near future they'll try to drive an older audience to the YGO scene, and that way there won't be as much sensitive censorship. Until then…


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