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                       |  |  |   The Doofy Discard-Inhibitor Deck - By the Doofy Deck
                        Builder
 The tournament I played at was the DCI sanctioned type
                        II tournament at the
 Scottish Rite's Temple, on March 18, 2001 in Sacramento,
                        California.
 
 
 This deck I just had an urge to play.
 
 Perhaps it was the fact that I only had one Type II deck
                        at the time of the
 tournament.
 
 This deck I actually had built a while back, as a little
                        more of an
 inhibitor deck.
 
 That went over about as good as the Backstreet Boys
                        playing at Ozz-fest!
 
 I mean, the sideboard was great, I couldn't have asked
                        for any better cards
 for a sideboard.  I know this is a little bit unorthodox,
                        but I'll give
 you the sideboard before the deck.
 
 Sideboard (15)
 3 High Seas (Kavu Decks worst nightmare!)
 2 Perish (We HATE green!)
 2 Insight (We really HATE green!)
 1 Deepwood Legate (We absolutely despize green!)
 1 Saprazzan Legate (Free when you control a mountain)
 1 Castle (Burn Protection)
 2 Chill (Why not!)
 1 Spiritual Focus (When I discard, I draw!)
 1 Warmth (Gotta get the life! Changes to Sancimony when
                        7th comes out.)
 1 Waterfront Bouncer (Sproing!)
 
 Weird!
 
 While it is large, it is good.  The problem was
                        when I drew part of the
 sideboard in the second or third games, it made no
                        difference because guess
 what .. I was either going to win ,or going to lose. I
                        was either about to
 smuther the other player, or about to be smuthered to
                        the point where it
 wouldn't have made a difference!
 
 Okay, now you get the deck.  You may admire my
                        deck, and feel free to laugh
 and send me e-mail's exclaiming, "You play THAT! 
                        No one plays THAT!"
 
 The Doofy Discard Deck
 
 Creatures (10)
 2 Meddling Mage
 4 Abyssal Specter
 4 Stormscape Apprentice
 
 Enchantments (3)
 2 Teferi's Moat
 1 Soothsaying
 
 Instants and Sorceries (25)
 4 Accumulated Knowledge
 4 Counterspell
 3 Fact or Fiction
 2 Wash Out
 4 Addle
 4 Snuff Out
 4 Recoil
 
 Land (22)
 2 Salt Marsh
 1 Coastal Tower
 2 Adakar Waste
 9 Island
 8 Swamp
 
 This deck is a sort of cross.  It's control, with
                        discard, with bounce.  A
 nice combo, but hard to get to work.  Plays where
                        the Stormscaper's are big,
 as well as Snuff Out.
 
 Other than that, it doesn't take a genius to play this
                        deck.  I should know
 this because I'm a doofy teenager!
 
 Now, I know this deck has flaws in it that my deck
                        building skills just
 can't fix, so, before I went to the tournament, the
                        Friday before, I went to
 Comics & Comix in Citrus Heights to play test it and
                        get some help from my
 friend Kenny.
 
 The last thing I did before I left there was get his
                        advise, so going into
 the Scottish Rights Temple on Sunday my deck was not
                        tested one bit.
 
 I knew about how it played, and that was it.
 
 Okay, now on to Sunday.
 
 It was rough, and it was hard! Man,  No one's debut
                        Tournament should be
 that rough, a 1-2 over all in the games, and 2-5 total
                        in the matches.
 
 A sad performance, for a coincidentailly sad deck, but
                        who's counting?  I'm
 not.  I went to gain the experience by being
                        annilated.  Or to annihlate,
 which ever happened first.
 
 Okay, the forward is over, now for the games.
 
 Game 1 - My deck vs. the Counter-Rebel Deck
 
 A clear abuse of the cards Lin Sivvi and Counterspell.
 
 The way the game went, I could hold on, but by turn
                        three it was clear that
 I couldn't win.  Another reason to the loss is
                        because of the way the Rebel
 ability goes off.  I couldn't kill the Linn Sivvi
                        without that ability going
 off and something like a Jhovall Queen coming out.
 
 A clear slaughter, despite the fact that he went through
                        all 4 Lin Sivvi's
 in the game.
 
 I'm now 0-1 in the games.
 
 Game two was even less of a challege.
 
 Folks, let's get one thing straight.  A
                        counter-rebel deck will win at
 Worlds, and I wouldn't be surprised if that kid wins it. 
                        His deck in the
 second game was extremely obnoxious and annoying. 
                        There just weren't enough
 Snuff Out's to go around!
 
 Lin Sivvi lead to Lin Sivvi, then to Jhovall Queen and
                        Ramosian Sky Marsial.
 
 I had one chance, a Teferi's Moat late in the game, and
                        a Snuff Out on the
 Sky Marshial.  The Snuff Out goes through, but he
                        Absorbs the Teferi's Moat
 like a sponge.
 
 I went 0-2, and lost the match.
 
 I wasn't demoralized, so much as I was angered.  I
                        want all of you to help
 me go on a tyraid to bann Lin Sivvi.  That card is
                        abused a little too much.
 
 Heck, if they can do that to Time Spiral and Tolarian
                        Academy, then they
 should do that to Lin Sivvi.
 
 Match II - Me and the Saproling deck.
 
 GHame one was a surprise defeat for me.
 
 I literally was facing the epitome of inexperience - the
                        kid comes out with
 a deck that's about eighty cards, and we beat on each
                        other through out the
 game.
 
 He plays the Grove Guardian (Nemata), and I Snuff it
                        out, that is not until
 after he swings for four (for reference, and I hate this
                        nasty habit,
 swinging is attacking.  It's cheesy, and I usually
                        don't use it, but it's
 popular here in Sacramento).
 
 I beat on him with a Meddling Mage, of all cards, and he
                        Pyrotechnics it, as
 well as TWO of my Apprentices.  This turned out to
                        be the major difference
 in the game, because on the next turn, a Raging Goblin
                        goes from your normal
 1/1, to a hefty 6/6 with an explosive growth, and it was
                        only strange
 coincidence that my life was at 6.
 
 Okay, I'm 0-3, big deal.
 
 Game two was in my favor, because this kids deck was
                        Red, Green, and White.
 Oooo, this was looking good!
 
 All my red/green sideboard went into the deck, in
                        exchange for a few cards,
 those being the Meddling Mages and a few other
                        hodge-podge cards.
 
 You know something, I didn't see any of it until it was
                        clear I was going to
 win.  I got the Abyssal Specter out early, and it
                        was smooth sailing from
 there.
 
 Rith got Snuffed out.
 
 Nemata got bounced.
 
 And the only damge that got through was a Verdeloth that
                        got played through
 Surprise Deployment.
 
 Other than that, I walloped him, far and square. 
                        My venting though was not
 finsihed.  The moment between Games 2 and 3 was
                        only the eye of the storm.
 
 I'm now 1-3, and had gained new hope for my deck.
 
 Game three was particularly fun for me.  Again,
                        another stomping, because he
 saw all of two land cards in the first 10 draw steps,
                        that with one little
 Sandstone Needle in his hand.
 
 How do I know that, because everytime he drew a land, he
                        played it.  I was
 jusat starting to capitalize when the game was settled -
                        He played Citadel
 of Pain.
 
 >From there on, I was in absolute control - He was
                        taking three to four
 damage a turn for his untapped land, mostly because he
                        couldn't to play
 anything else.  On the other hand, I found ways to
                        tap out, mostye through
 not playing anymore land.  I had five down, and
                        could tap out easily with a
 Stormscape Apprentice and some form of four casting cost
                        card.
 
 He last hope went to the graveyard, and this was the fun
                        part for me - I
 could tap out and Snuff out his Rith, or take one damage
                        and Perish it.
 
 Keep in mind Rith was the only Green creature out there. 
                        In the end, it
 doesn't matter what I did, because not seconds later he
                        was dead from his
 own card, and I won my first match in an official
                        tournament ever!
 
 I was now 2-3, and on cloud nine.  You know
                        something, I should have known I
 would meet some sort of strange deck like my next
                        opponents.
 
 Match #3 against the deck of almost all rares.
 
 This was one of those odd games.
 
 This kid was playing a deck for which I felt I saw not
                        one common or
 uncommon other than basic land.  The first game was
                        a rather fast one:  I
 made a mistake on an Addle and put his Hammer in the
                        graveyard over a
 BLazing Specter.
 
 Please, don't tell me how dumb I was, I wasn't thinking
                        because that's what
 cloud nine does to you.
 
 He played the Blazing Specter, and started poking me. 
                        I matched his blazing
 specter with an Abyssal Specter, only to watch it get
                        burnt by that Hammer.
 
 The game was short, and rather uneventful - He beat me
                        hands down off of the
 stupidest mistake of all time.
 
 I was now 2-4, and still up for another game, but this
                        was knowing that even
 if I did win the next two games, the best I could do was
                        break even.
 
 You know what, if I made the play-offs, I'd be playing
                        that Counter-Rebel
 deck again!  He was next to me, and had mowed down
                        a Blue/White Control
 deck.
 
 If I got in, I'd have been the fourth place, the lowest. 
                        He would have been
 numero uno.  Do you think I would have had a
                        chance?
 
 I did, at least I did at the time, so I gave the next
                        game my all, hoping
 for the chance at a play off birth.
 
 No such luck.  Game two went almost the exact same
                        way - Blazing Specter and
 this time, instead of Hammer kill ing me, Hammer killed
                        my Meddling Mage,
 which lead to a Skizzik, which the Meddling Mage had
                        prevented, and a hammer
 for the final finisher.
 
 I was absolutely powerless, and the game was over by
                        turn six.
 
 A sad way to finish, 2-5 and hopelessly beaten on all
                        fronts by the "deck of
 all rare."
 
 In the end, I came away with no prize, but some good
                        trade and new fun
 cards.  I got my Tolaria, and a German Beta
                        Prodigal Sorcerer (Timmy!).
 
 In the end, I have some props and slops to hand out.
 
 Props to each of my competitors.  They were all
                        good sports, and made the
 experience fun for me.  Props as well to the Vendor
                        who ran the tournament,
 he was nice and his booth had all the good stuff. 
                        Props as well to my
 friend Derrick, who was not at the tournament unfortunately.
 
 His wife just had a baby boy, and, while I may be only
                        16, he's in his 20's,
 just to clear any misunderstandings up.
 
 More props to some of my Pokémon playing friends, Janet
                        and Lesley.  They
 went 3rd and 4th in a rather tough field, and they were
                        perhaps the only
 really good sports there too.
 
 Slops to all the other vendors.  What kind of
                        Convention is this!  Only one
 booth had Magic singles, or at least a substantial
                        amount.  Slops to the
 Pokémon players as well!  I may be a former Pokémon
                        player and all, but I
 like Magic better.  And these kids had the audacity
                        to treat the magic
 players like we were the ones playing Pokémon! 
                        Especially me for leaving
 that game!
 
 Who do they think they are, let alone what gives them
                        the right to do that!
 
 The last comment I have to get across before I sign out
                        is this:  in light
 of these Pokémon players, and I know this is sappy and
                        all, but we are all
 humans, not wax dolls.  Let's keep our rude calls
                        to ourselves.
 
 Signing Out,
 John Hornberg, the Doofy Deck Builder
 
 P.S. - I can be reached at promiseland85@hotmail.com
                        for comments, and be
 ware that the Doofy deck Builder rersponds to all
                        comments in his mail box.
 
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