JSS QT 2ND PLACE! And Why Brent Eyler and Ian B. are the men.

Name: Rich Herbert (AKA: Cartman)
Rockville MD
Tourtment: JSS QT
Place: 2nd!
Deck: Balancing Tings
People: 50

Hey everyone,

My name is Rich Herbert(AKA: Cartman). This is my first tournament report, so I apologize if I drone on endlessly and bore you all. For the past 2 months, I have been testing for the JSS QTs me being 14 and all. I saw this thing called Balancing Tings (Brent, you kick ass man and you're one cool kid along with Ian B. You guys rule! (see title)) who both built this deck, and now I am friends with. About a week after Brent won Edison, I got 2 Foil Balancing Acts(when extended season was around Rockville, the last QT) 2 foil Acts for $2 a piece! Thanks Matt and Hal! A Chinese one cost me a Capsize. Thanks Alex! 2 foil Terravore were $3 a piece. Some good? I also have 1 American one and everyone I have beaten it has signed it. Little story goes with this JSS QT. This time I was determined to not fail and to somehow qualify.

I arrived at like 9:00 and see Brent Eyler there. We talked for a while and he borrowed some cards(Dude, u still got one of my Wrath of Gods) I asked him for last minute goodness for my deck and he said Looks good dude About a hour later we started. Here's the listing:


4 Nimble Mongoose
4 Terravore
4 Obliterate
4 Fact or Fiction
4 Balancing Act
4 Timberland Ruins
4 Geothermal Crevice
4 Ancient Spring
4 Irrigation Ditch


3 Disenchant
3 Dodecapod
3 Blurred Mongoose
3 Memory Lapse
3 Moment's Peace

Well, that's the deck. Parings were announced to go up and I went to go sit down for the 1st round.

Rd 1: Big kid with Hippo and Moat

Wow, I didn't think many people played Hippo, Teferi's Moat and Enforcers main deck. Guess I was wrong. I though this would be an easy match, and I got the combo off, but when he floated 2 Blue, instead of Terravore, I dropped a Mongoose. I stall on some lands and get some beats in. I have a Syncopate and my Sulfur Vent out with an I. Ditch tapped. He draws his 6th land and drops Moat. Wow, that's kind of bad isn't it? Judge informs me of 30 minutes left, and because I couldn't draw the Obliterate and Act to combo in one turn or any more Chants when I had 1 Syncopate left in the deck, I scoped for time reasons.

In come all Lapses, Disenchant and Mongooses.

Game two he gets some early peeks and sees my Godly drawl. He couldn't believe it. He drew sacred grounds, but it went away fast with Disenchant. I called the judge and asked him if I cast Act would Grounds trigger? I didn't think it would, but it seems that it does. I still don't see how, but I Disenchanted it. But my hand kept getting better. By turn 8 he was done and we were shuffling for the 3rd and final game. Wow, I can draw Godly 2 games in a row. This game was the same as last. My hand just was amazing from the get go. 2 acts, 4 lands and a syncopate. I then drew Chant, Chant, Obliterate, FoF, disenchant and land. I won that game easily.  Moat can be scary.

Matches: 1-0

Games: 2-1

Ok, before I go on, I have to actually share something personal about me. I have a chronic stomach problem and what it does is puts me in BAD stomach pains and aches. It tears me up and makes it hard to concentrate and do things because I can't concentrate. Round two, as I sat down and introduced myself it kicked in. Not mildly, but very badly and made me very uncomfortable the whole match. I even took a 10 minute time out(didn't know there was such a ting, but thanks JJ for understanding and Adam Dale for being such a cool judge!)

Rd 2: JJ playing ToG

JJ is cool, he has Qed before. He was playing ToG. Could be bad. Game 1 he is stuck on 3 lands for literally 10 turns. But guess what? I DRAW NO COMBO PIECES! He hits 4 lands, taps out for Lobo. I sync it. I draw, ACT! But I have a feeling he has more Lobo's and Act burning for 6. Ouch. He scoops 2 turns later when he draws no more lands.
In between the game 1 and 2 I explain my condition and he says You can get a time out and a Judge will sit here and make sure nothing happens. I asked if there was anything that would happen as a result and the Judge(Adam Dale) said we get extra time. I gladly took it and stepped out for a drink and air. I return 10 minutes and Sideup.

In come Lapses, Dodecapod(he recoiled many times on 3 lands though), 2 Peace and Mongooses.

He tap out for turn 3 ToG, and I cast act floating 2 green. He was really tired and not thinking and didn't discard cards to ToG and I cast Blurred. 3 turns later with him having no lands again, TerraTing hits and he scoops. Sorry man, would have been better with lands for ya I bet.


Games: 4-1

After Rd 2 my ride takes me to 7-11 and I get some Advil and some water. Take some pills and hurry back. I would end up taking more later because the pains got worse which I almost dropped because of.

Rd 3: Robert Greenhouse. Red/Green Beats.

Game 1 He burns me out in response to my combo (stupid no chant!!!) and I loose. Oh yea, on turn 4, he volcanic hammered me(he has a Q. Dryad out) and shocks me 2 times. I took like 12 on turn 4. Not good.

In come Lapse, 2 Peace, Mongooses

Game two he gets slowness draws and I get combo draws. I comboed 3 times because he was recovering sooooooo fast. I won though. Game 3 is exactly like game 1, he bashes, but I bash back before turn 4. I draw 2 lands and they were only Ruins. He wins. Nice deck Rob and great match dude.

Match: 2-1

Games: 5-3

After this I got a little worried because it was only 6 rounds. This means I needed to go 2-0-1 to make it in, and looking at the people ahead of my table, I saw quite a few red/green. After this match I talked to Brent and watched him mise like a pro. God that kid is good.

Rd 4: Guy playing Red/Green/Black with Plague Spitters and Terminates out the yang.

Ok, I saw a turn 1 duress take away FoF and a turn 3 Spitter leaving him taped out for me to do my goodness. An Act and a Goose. 5 Turns later I had Terravore and he topdecks a Terminate and next turn a Plague Spitter. Somehow the Goose died, and I comboed again. But, low and behold, he has a Terminate for my Terravore. Eventually he doesn't draw lands and TerraTing does some goodness.

In come Lapses, Moment's Peace and BLURRED MOONGOOSE! NO TERMINATE FOR YOU!

Well in game 2 he casts early Plague Spitters and of course the turn before I'm about to cast Blurred. Thank God I didn't cast it before that. I have 2 Mongooses in hand and FoF pulls up an Act. A few turns later I'm going to go for it. I cast Act floating 4 Green and 2 Blue(I have Lapse incase of anything really bad) and he floats 3 red and 2 black. He thinks I'm going to cast 2 TerraTings. Boy was he surprised when I dropped 2 Blurred Mongooses. He Flame Bursts me which I Lapse. He says Wow, 2 terminates do nothing against them! I'll burn for 2 now. I ride the Gooses to the win. Nice deck dude and good games. It was close for a while.

Matches: 3-1

Games: 7-3

Rd 5: Enforcer guy (probably my best match there)
This guy played my friend in second round (Mike Santone who also played Tings with Fire/Ice SB and no Mongooses cause he couldn't find any) and Mike lost to him. I was sitting on the Enforcer guy's side and was peeking over at his playing because I knew for some reason that I might have to play him soon. Sure enough we meet up in Rd 5.

Game one he gets in some Peeks on turn 3 4 and 5. For some reason he decides after seeing the combo in my hand that he should cast an Enforcer. I had a Syncopate but let it go. All he had open were 4 lands and I had a Chant and Syncopate. I Chant him during my main phase which he fights to a loss (Snake, Sync for uno) and I go on to add 7 mana casting Act and TerraTing dropping an Arch Dig and Sacing it for a Nimbly. I kinda won there 

In comes Lapses, Mongooses (I saw some Aether Burst in FoF's) and like 2 Peace.

Game two he drops turn 2 Sacred Grounds and I didn't side in Disenchant. 2 meddling mages later naming Obliterate and Act I was in trouble. I would have to cast Act 2 times, getting both through to have a shot, but Chris Pikula kind of caused that plan to not work. I enter my scoop phase.

Out come Moment's Peace and something else for 3 Disenchants.

Wow, game 3. I said to myself that no matter what I wouldn't scoop. I would go for it all.

What do you know? Turn 3 Sacred Grounds with a disrupt is a little good. Ok, I have Disenchants in so it's ok. Funny thing. When he cast that my hand was 2 Acts, 1 TerraTing, 2 Obliterate a chant and an Lapse. I had out 2 spheres and 2 lands taped with a Vent which I saced to Lapse. I was going to win next turn. Boo! Ok, Grounds isn't that bad. I was waiting on a Disenchant and kept playing Lands because I figured that somehow I can still win this. He has out a Chris Pikula naming Repulse (which of course was in my hand.) and was slowly eating at my life. For some reason he plays a Mystic Snake during his main phase leaving him with like 6-8 lands open and 5 cards in hand. I see an opening with my hand of 1 Chant, 2 Act, 1 Blurred Mongoose, 1 Terravore and 2 Lapses. I draw, CHANT! WHOHOO!!! Sac a land to cast Chant. Counter. Cast chant? He lets it go through. I can win I realize. I sac all my lands. As I do this a crowd starts to gather. I write down for him al swing. He scoops in amazement that he lost to me. Everyone is talking about me now and how I won. The judge comes over and announces that time is up and to fill out the match slip. Good game man. You scared me to death there. I couldn't find a Disenchant and drawling the extra Chant was a Topdeck and a half.

Matches: 4-1

Games: 9-4

I am now in 6th place and have to play a friend for the next round who is playing Tings. Not Mike, but someone who is playing Tings because of me. At the Prerelease he lost to me playing this and loved it so much that he built it the night before. Here's his Sideboard. (He couldn't find anything for it.) 12 MOUNTAINS AND 3 AURA BLAST!! He beat the whole field without a SB.

One problem. We're at table 4, he's in 9th place with not the greatest Tiebreakers. The table next to us (8th and 2nd place players) decided to play it. Being as this is happening this means that me and my friend can ID in. The table next to us that is playing, the looser doesn't make it in and that means my friend slides in at the #8 spot. The top 2 tables draw, and seeing that they are playing it out, we also draw.

Rd: 6 (I can't remember your name even though you signed my Act sorry man) Playing Tings from Net. (Brent's version)

ID! I'm now in no matter what!

Matches: 4-1-1

Games: 10-5-1

Here's what happens to the game next to us. Carson (or Eric) is in 2nd place and Greg is in 8th. Carson (or Eric) is up one game to none. (1-0) and Greg is at 8 life. Carson (or Eric) draws, taps 12 lands and casts Rage with kicker. Now originally they were going to draw which is why my friend and I did not play it out. Greg goes, In response you want to draw??? HE ACCEPTS!!! IN RESPONSE TO RAGE HE DREW! GREG WAS DEAD AND OUT OF T8! And Judges were told of it and didn't even ask them if this was true or anything. I can't believe that they let this happen. I immedently found my friend, and being as I explained everything to him and how he would make it in because of Greg and Carson (or Eric) playing it out and how in response to Rage with Kicker they drew. I felt really bad because I told him he would be in and he wasn't now. He understood and said that he would feel better if I won. I gave him my Tings listing for the next JSS QT and my

T8 looks like this (the best that I remember, not in the order of 1-8 though)

Tings (ME!)

4 red/green

1 ToG

1 Red/White/Blue

1 Tempo Opposition (red/green/blue creature Opposition)

T8: Eric playing Tempo/ Creature Opposition.

I play Opposition man. Mike is sitting next to me to see how I do since he's playing the same deck as me and also sitting next to me is the other friend who should be playing next to me. The guy who didn't get in T8 because of the Draw in response. He wants to see my SB and how I SB with it so he knows.

My opponent, his name is Eric and mine is Cartman. Heh. Like me, he has a Cartman statue thing, but mine is plastic and his is plush. We both put them out at the same time at opposites of each other. Kinda cool. We talk for a while and we finally get the show on the road. I win the roll and he asks me if I'm playing Tings. I never tell my opponent what I am playing as they now know how to play. I lie, and he believes me.

I go 1st. I get a Godly hand which has everything I need to win against Blue. 2 Acts, Obliterate, Terravore and 3 lands. Next draw is FoF and then a land. He taps out turn 4 for Opposition thinking I'm NOT playing Tings. I thank him and he looks puzzled as I show him the combo and drop an 8/8 TerraTing. He scoops. He asks me why I lied and I said Element of surprise my friend. You truly thought I wasn't playing Tings and played differently because of It didn't you? He responds, Yea Cartman. If I knew you were playing this I would have not tapped out at all on turn 4 Me, Exactly, you would have played differently and I wouldn't be a game up like I am now now would I? He chuckles and Mike pats me on the back. My friend laughs and says that I'm deceitful. I reply Maybe so, but I won didn't I? Eric laughs.

In come Lapses, Mongooses, Disenchant and 2 Peaces.

I get a hand of 5 lands, a sphere and an Act. He Paris's (is that right?) down to 5. But he accidentally draws 6. I call a Judge, and since he was supposed to be at only 5 he has to go to 4. Eric is upset and I apologize and he understands. He kept no lands. I don't want to win this way. I draw Terravore for my draw and know that I won now. All I needed was the creature. I play some lands and chant him on 2 Lands sacing my lands for 7 (disrupt protection) he lets it go and I combo. He discards some cards and Terravore is a 10/10. He draws a land. Burst could be in his hand I fear now with a land. I swing for 10 and I play an Arch Dig at upkeep which he diverts to me and shows 3 Burst and no land off the draw. Scoop Phase for him. I again say I'm sorry for calling the Judge and getting him involved. He shows me what his hand was at 5. 2 lands, BoP, Wild Mongrel and a FoF. Could he have been good he says in which I nod. Sorry I won like that Eric, really. I wan

T4: Red/Blue/White deck, Control Patriotism.

Wow, I get to play Counters. I had a godly hand, everything except creature. He also doesn't know what I'm playing and he has Qed before so didn't care. I lied when he asked me about Tings and he made the mistake of Eric the round before. Turn 7 Lightning Angel meets a Repulse and a next turn Act and TerraTing. He was a little land screwed and only had 4 lands for the past turns but I couldn't draw a Creature. Repulse netted me a Terravore. He became an 11/11 and meat by a scoop phase for the control player.

"One more game to go" I calmly say as Mike and my friend shake their heads at me. They can't believe my Topdecking.

In come Lapses, Mongooses (He Fof'ed into some Aether Bursts but no lands, plus the Goose is good against blue) and 2 Peace.

Game two is over before it starts. I get another godly hand with obliterates, FoF's, lands and a chant. He looks good for a while until he runs out of lands in turn 7 again. I chant him, cast Obliterate and Terravore. He scoops and says Good job. Tings is murder against my deck. I'll see you in Florida man.

I QUALIFIED!!! WHOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I couldn't believe it! Brent and Ian were money drafting and I walked over and thanked them so much for making this deck and they were happy to see that Tings won again.

But there's one match left. It's red/green vs. red/green. It doesn't matter to me now that I Qed.

Finals: Rob (from rd.3)

Let me put it this way. He bashed me many ways over. I comboed and he recovered so fast and for some reason I didn't draw anymore lands. Rob beat me 2-0.
Congrats Robert Greenhouse. 2 people Qed who hadn't before. A good JSS QT. 

Final standings:

Red/green (Rob Greenhouse)
Tings! (ME! Rich Herbert)
Red/green (Allan Jackson)
Tempo Opposition (Eric)
ToG (Greg Swan)

Final info for me:

Matches: 6-2-1

Games: 14-7-1

I got a box of Torment and everyone came up to me and said their congrats. People in Rockville are cool. One thing, Me being so excited forgot my papers that you send on. OOPS! I have to go back and get them. It's worth it though!

All in all it was a good day! I still don't see how Sacred Grounds triggers off Balancing Act, but that's what the Judges said and I'll trust them.


Troy: for taking me
Mike: for playtesting. You'll do better man.
Steve Strock: for teaching me so much and for being a good partner. Serve our country with pride in the Navy man. Come see me in
My Mom: for giving birth to me and giving me money and being supportive
Brent and Ian: For making this deck! You are the men as the title says! Brent, when I see you again, return my WoG!
All my opponents: Being good spots and good games
Matt Brooks: For trading me some cards I needed for this deck
Dream Wizards in
Rockville for being such a good card store and holding this. 
Jason Jones: Also teaching me many things

Any site that posts this!

Anyone who thinks this deck still sucks.
My stomach for almost making me drop out of the Tourtment
School for being hard

Paz, this is Cartman saying I'm out and thanks for reading. SEE SOME OF YA IN FLORDIA MAY31-JUNE1! 
If you want to contact me email me at: rich416_417@yahoo.com
IM me: BigRich316420
ICQ#: 119895237