Any of you who remember the original decklist for TC 1.0 probably realize that I’ve upped the number of Skuling Ghosts & Tar Pit Warriors while lowering the Fallen Asarki and Hymns by one. Why, you hypothetically ask? Because I totally screwed the pooch on the original card count. This is the way it should have been listed back in the day.

We all up to speed? Good. Anyway, in my last revision of Turbo Commons, I kinda sorta, just maaaaaybe said "I intend to revisit version 1.0 of TC at some point before my life’s end. It would be a shame not to, now that both Mirage and Visions are legal in certain MTGO formats."

So why the year long wait? I’m lazy as hell. Well, that and a massive case of indecision. Most of the deck consists of cards from Mirage and Visions. Those that weren’t? Ah, there’s the "indecision" kicking in. Take Lightning Bolt as an example. (Please. Ba-da-bump!) What ever would I replace it with? Shock? More Incinerates? Glacial Rays? Also, to upgrade or not to upgrade. Should I swap out some of the Mirage block spells with some fresher cards? And if so, with what? Is Terminate better than Dark Banishing? What about Innocent Blood? Sudden Death? Gah! Brock torn! Can’t...make...a decision...

Things even got so bad that I even begged Bmoor to help my lazy arse. (Insert "deck garage" plug here.) But then Wizards created Masters Edition, adding to the online pool all of the cards the deck didn’t have, so I no longer have to worry about it. Laziness triumphs over hard work once again! SCORE!

Oh, wait. I hear that hypothetical questioner again; "So, does this mean you’re not gonna revisit it?" Why, yes. Yes it does. And yet another article comes to a successful close! Feel free to send feedback to...

"But...but you said you would! It’s in writing and everything!"

It is? Really?

"Dude, look up six paragraphs!"

You are correct, hypothetical sir. Damn.

You want a new Turbo Commons deck? You’ll get your revised decklist. But do keep in mind that I am lazy.

TURBO COMMONS 6.0 (a.k.a. "Enough already!")

Standard (Time Spiral/Coldsnap/Lorwyn/Tenth Edition) and PEZ legal. (Uncommons marked with *)

 

BLACK

2 Consume Spirit

2 Distress

2 Dark Banishing

2 Dark Ritual (Yes, Coldsnap pre-con deck reprints are Standard legal. I checked.)

1 Footbottom Feast

1 Mind Rot

3 Sangrophage

3 Skulking Knight

3 Trespasser Il-Vec

 

RED

2 Blazing Blade Askari

1 Bogardan Lancer

2 Incinerate

2 Martyr of Ashes

*1 Rough/Tumble

4 Shock

3 Suq’Ata Lancer

 

ARTIFACTS

*1 Bottle Gnomes

1 Fountain of Youth

*2 Soultether Golem

 

LANDS

10 Mountain

12 Swamp
 

Yes, it’s an almost card-for-card redo of the decklist. Lazy, remember? In all seriousness (and considering the tone of this article so far, even *I* can’t believe I’ve typed that with a straight face), I wanted to do a tenth anniversary version of Turbo Commons. Y’know, a "the more things change, etc." kinda thing. And with the return of flanking AND Bone Harvest (you young’uns call it Footbottom Feast) AND Dark Ritual to Standard, now’s the time!

I have to type up basic strategy for playing this deck, don’t I? I would totally cut and paste paragraphs from past articles if I thought I could get away with it. But since I can’t, Turbo Commons 6.0 follows the tried and true game plan of its’ ancient ancestors; storm the battlefield with an army of cheap, small and powerful critters. Don’t let your troops get pinned down on the beach. If they do, get ‘em off the beachhead as soon by laying down some cover fire with your own support spells. Once the pillbox defenses are done blown up real good, send your band of brothers in for the final push.
 

Play tips and general commentary: don’t lose. Gawd, you want more? *sigh*

 

1) Skulking Knight, Suq’Ata Lancer, Blazing Blade Asarki and Bogardan Lancer for the power of Flanking!

2) Incinerate and Shock for creaturekill and burn!

3) Distress and Mind Rot for hand disruption!

4) Rough/Tumble for mass creaturekill!

5) Dark Ritual for more speed!

6) Dark Banishing and Consume Spirit for extra creaturekill AND burn!

7) Fountain of Youth and Bottle Gnome for lifegain!

8) Martyr of Ashes as a stand in for Crypt Rats, which was for more mass creaturekill! (Kill ‘em all!)

9) Soultehter Golems for...I’m not sure why, frankly!

10) Trespasser Il-Vec for his something like an evasion ability!

11) Footbottom Feast for use as a reset button if our own or others mass creaturekill does us in!

12) Sangrophage just for being so damn cool!

B. Siems

 

Special "Thank God I don’t play MTGO" section: Just because the original Turbo Commons deck can now be put together online, don’t get it in yer heads that’s it’s gonna be easy. Oh no, no, no. Get ready to spend and trade away. Here’s where you can find them cards.

 

MIRAGE: Bone Harvest, Cadaverous Knight,, Dark Banishing, Dark Ritual, Drain Life, Incinerate, Skulking Ghost

VISIONS: Coercion, Crypt Rats, Fallen Asarki, Suq’Ata Lancer, Tar Pit Warrior

SEVENTH EDITION: Crypt Rats, Dark Banishing

EIGHT: Coercion, Dark Banishing

NINTH: Coercion, Dark Banishing

COLDSNAP: Dark Banishing, Dark Ritual, Incinerate

MASTERS EDITION: Hymn to Tourach, Order of the Ebon Hand, Lightning Bolt, Phyrexian War Beast

TENTH: Fountain of Youth, Incinerate

TIME SPIRAL: Suq’Ata Lancer

MIRRODIN: Yotian Soldier

DARKSTEEL: Fireball

 

Still wanna build it? Good luck with that. ;)