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Peasant Magic Decks

'Slip and Slide' – by Vlatko Jurisic

I present to you, well...this. But hey, at least it’s Peasant legal.
*Lead vocals: 1 Vulshok Berserker (Korn’s Jonathan Davis. If you ain’t playin’ PEZ, use Eron the Relentless (a.k.a Axel Rose) instead.)
Backup singers: 1 Elvish Impersonators
Guitar: 1 Phyrexian Reaper (James Hetfield)
Second guitar: 1 Gruul Scrapper (Since I couldn’t think of a card to represent Tom Morello, we’ll have to go with the Zach De La Rocha look alike instead.
Bass guitar: 1 Devout Harpist (Paz Lenchantin.)
Drums: 1 Deepwood Drummer (Mickey Hart.)
Opening Act: 1 Clam Session (The Bad Plus. All of ‘em.)
Fans and groupies:
1 Little Girl
1 Kris Mage (Mmmm, blondes...)
1 Deadhead
1 Red Hot Hottie (Mmmm, stacked....)
1 Mogg Fanatic
1 Cuombajj Witches (Mmmm, twins...)
Support Staff:
2 Standing Army (for security.)
2 Spineless Thug and 3 Thallids (all of whom are roadies.)
The show:
4 Land Aid ‘04 (At this point, I feel I need to share a story that a net-friend once told me about a U2 concert. The band is performing "One." The Edge is in the middle of the guitar solo when Bono starts clapping his hands in rhythm and says "Every time I clap, a child in Africa dies," at which point some wag in the audience screams out "Then stop clapping yer f%#^ing hands!" True story, maybe.)
1 Sex Appeal
1 Pyrotechnics (Part of the stage show.)
2 Number Crunch (The accountants are frustrated. "Who’s going to pay for all of this?")
*1 Urza’s Hot Tub (for the afterparty. Hello ladies!)
2 Lava Axe (for Paz and Zach. Hetfield brought his own. (Those of you who’ve never seen the illustration for Phyrexian Reaper won’t get that.)
2 Scorching Missile (more pyrotechnics)
3 Awol ("And I needed to find 500 brown M&M’s to fill a brandy glass or else Ozzy wouldn’t go onstage...")
On the road:
*4 Rhystic Caves
7 Forests
3 Swamps
4 Plains
4 Mountains
2 Izzet Boilerworks
Don’t blame me. I just produce their records. ;)





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