OK, this is not a rant about collectors, overprotective parents, Base Set 2,
or little kids. Wow! That sure got your attention! No, I hate that kind
(although it's pretty funny if you have a light sense of humor like I do,
you can just see their faces bulging and reddening as they type manically :)
). This is about how Pokémon has twisted the world so the english language
is a minefield.

Don't get me wrong, I love Pokémon as much as the rest of you, but it's so
darn contriversial these days. There are three groups people fall into: A)
Love it, B) Hate it, or C) Don't know what it is or even really care. In my
age group and area, the general opinion is "b". So, as much as I love
Pokémon, I don't like to show it. You never hear the end of it if you do.
However, you have to watch your speech so carefully if you don't want to be
labelled as a Pokéfreak, especially if a 3rd-grader is anywhere near. For
example:

You can't say something is "farfetched". Someone ALWAYS says "Farfetch'd?"
in a hopeful voice. You can't say "oh, you must be psychic" ("Psychic?" or
"what's wrong, did you see a ghost?" ("Gengar?") or say "paralyzed"
("Pikachu's Thunder Shock?"). You can't even say "do you want to play cards"
("can I use my Haymaker?") you have to say "do you want to play poker or
something?". And even the word "snap" ("oh, you have Pokémon Sanp? Cool!")
is out of the question! You can't say "don't jinx me" ("Jynx?") or
"Abracadabra" ("Alakazam!"). You can't get condescending to your cat and go
"Mew? Yes, good kitty meow!" ("Mew!!"). You can't use the word "energy"
(Psychic or Fire?"). And don't even THINK about using the word "evolve" like
"see how far this technology has evolved". *shudder*

OK, I'm done. See, it IS possible to rant without mentioning little kids or
Base Set 2!! The idea may seem farfetched to you but... What's that? STOP!
NO, NOT THE DUCK!!! ARRRRGH!


-Zach "Dr. Andonuts"

sametoyou@email.com

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