ShatokenChocobo> Hello sports fans! This evening we wi-...What? This is
about Pokemon?

Director> Cut! Cut! SC! Dreamin' 'bout hostin' the Super Bowl Halftime
Report again?! You ain't gonna get there this way!

SC>...

Man> Redo! In 5, 4, 3, 2...

SC> Hello Pokemaniacs! This evening we will be reviewing two cards. Which is
better? Ditto, or Clefable. Lets take a look see. Computer, show the
profiles of Ditto and Clefable for our viewers.

Computer> No...problem...SC. Transmitting...data...

SC> The home team...

Comp>
Name: Ditto
Type: Transform
Length: 1' 0"
Weight: 9 lbs.
Element: Colorless
Lifeforce: 50 HP
Pokemon Power: Transform: If Ditto is your active Pokemon treat it as
if...in short, it's an exact copy of the defending Pokemon except it needs
no specific energy, cannot evolve, and the power is always in affect. It
cannot be used if Ditto is Asleep, confused, or paralyzed.
Attacks: None
Weakness: Fighting
Resistance: Psychic
Retreat Cost: One Colorless
Profile: Capable of copying an enemy's genetic code to instantly transform
into a duplicate of the enemy.

SC> ...and the visitors.

Comp>
Name: Clefable
Type: Fairy
Length: 4' 3"
Weight: 88 lbs.
Element: Colorless
Lifeforce: 70 HP
Pokemon Power: None
Attacks: (One Colorless): Metronome - In short, this copies an attack
         of the defending Pokemon except it for enerrgy costs, discarding
         energy, doing damage to itself, and things like that.
         (Two Colorless): Minimize - This attack has certainly lost its
         usefulness in the TCG from the original GameBoy game. Instead
         of raising it's 'evade' statistic, it now reduces damage it
         takes from the defending Pokemon during the next turn by 20
         after applying weakness and resistance.
Weakness: Fighting
Resistance: Phychic
Retreat Cost: Two Colorless
Profile: A timid Fairy Pokemon that is rarely seen. It will run and hide at
the moment it senses people.

SC> Now lets rate the two by separate attributes, shall we?

Comp>
Round 1: Lifeforce

By themselves, Clefable has 20 more HP than Ditto, but Ditto may transform
into larger Pokemon with massive lifeforce such as Charizard or Chansey.
This round goes to Ditto!

Ditto: 1   Clefable: 0

Round 2: Attacks

This one must be easy. Sure, Ditto can have any energy attached to do an
attack, like Charizard, but you still have to have a certain amount of
energy, you may have to discard some, and you may have to take damage that
comes with the attack. Clefable, on the other hand, needs none of those and
requires only one of any energy. You probably knew the winner of this round
at the start.

Ditto: 1   Clefable: 1

Round 3: Retreat Cost

Ditto, with a retreat cost of one of any energy, is cheaper than Clefable's
retreat cost of two of any energy. This round seems to be a tie for Ditto
may transform into something with a retreat cost, less, more, or equal to
the retreat cost of that of Clefable's. No score for this round.

Ditto: 1   Clefable: 1

Now, this would have been a tie unless for one important fact about Ditto.
Lets say you have a Ditto out against a Chansey. Chansey is almost dead so
it is either retreated or scooped up. Ditto is also hurt from doing
Double-Edge. The opponent send out his or her Scyther. Since the
transformation is always automatic, and Ditto keeps the damage it has taken,
it knocks itself out. That's minus one point for that factor.

SC> Well, there you have it, the winner is...*drum roll*...Clefable by one
point! Now a word form out sponsor.

Director>Cut and print! Great job SC! But, um, during your first mess-up we
lost about 99.9% of our ratings so um...you'll find out in your office on
your desk.

SC> ...

Later...

SC> ...Oh, no...OH NO!!! Please post this Pojo! My last check just bounced!
I have a wife and two children! Just post this one article! Then I'll be
saved! Yeah, yeah, after this, I'll be in the newspapers worldwide! We'll be
rich! I'll be able to get that wide-screen TV and that limo I've always
wanted! Everybody on Earth will know the name, ShatokenChocobo!
BWUAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

                      --ShatokenChocobo $_$

                        Send any e-mail to shatokenchocobo@hotmail.com
                        If you go insane after reading this, you cannot
                        blame me for it was your decision to do so in
                        the first place. If you DO happen to turn insane,
                        remember it was all YOUR fault. YOUR FAULT!
                        YOURS!




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