<<a figure in a dark trench coat and sunglasses appears on a high rooftop>>

SATOSHI: Well, here I am.

<<air riples around him, and he vanishes. A minute later, he reappears in a
different place>>

SATOSHI: Or am I here?

<<he disappears again, and reappears closer to you>>

SATOSHI: <<slowly takes off sunglasses>>I am here to talk about everyone's
favorite flamethrower, charizard.

<<charizard card appears, encased in a plastic case>>

SATOSHI: Hmm. Nothing extra special here. Not good, not bad. Sorta...normal.
'Course, even the big lizard has his drawbacks.

<<charizard appears on the roof, and spits three balls of fire at SATOSHI,
who does that slow-motion dodging thing from The Matrix. He then whips out a
pokeball, and captures the big lizard>>

SATOSHI: Ya know, this guy could be a major card in a lot of decks if not
for one thing. Pointless Charizard-Bashing articles and the "charizard is
good" "no, charizard is bad" articles they create.<<charizard card
vanishes>> People, we need to understand that all cards have their strong
and weak points. It is not totally bad. Nor is it the god of all cards.
There are upsides and downsides. We just need to find and recongnize them.
Now, if you'll excuse me...

<<air ripples yet again, growing, it seems, more forceful. Soon, the air
around SATOSHI glows a dull blue, encasing him. In a brilliant flash, he
vanishes. All that remains is a quiet laughter>>

P.S.-Atlus Parker isn't the only one who has extra-ordinary powers!  =)