What do you mean you filed all my cases under "P" for
"Patient"??!! Now I'll never find anyone's files! Grrr! Even my old
secretary wasn't this incompetent.

        Hi there. As you can see I'm dealing with some temporary
help here. This is Trish. I got her from the temporary agency to pick
up the slack left behind by my regular secretary.  Wave to the nice
people, Trish.

          "Hi there nice people!"

      My usual secretary got a phone call last week and is now on
her way to Beverly Hills. It seems my scretary's family is idly rich
and she qualified for the CBS's new Survivor Spin-Off, Survivor-
Beverly Hills style.

           You can stop waving now Trish.

        My secretary will spend the next 12 weeks confined within a
miniscule mansion with only 6 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms. She
and the other castoffs will only be allowed to have one meal per
day prepared by professional food service people and each
inhabitant is limited to only one credit card apiece. All personal
groomers, trainers, agents, assistants and househelp will only be
allowed to visit from between noon and 4 in the afternoon each day,
if you can imagine the horror.
         Every 3 days, all the spoiled rich people in the household will
vote one of their members out back into their posh, glitzy magazine
elite lifestyles based upon whatever criteria they choose to evice
someone, such as inability to select a wardrobe without their
assistant Rolph to give insight, or their willingness to eat whatever
food they happen to come across in lieu of professional cooks and
butlers to prepare and serve it for them.
         They will live on an income estimated at only 100,000 dollars
 for 12 weeks until 2 people remain, at which point the other losers,
who were cast back into their secluded little realities, will gather
and select the person the hate the least and that person will win a
small country or some ridiculous prize of that nature.

          Me, I get stuck with Trish. No, Trish, those scissors aren't
for you. Yours are the ones coated in green plastic. Yes, that's
right. The safety scissors. We don't want a repeat of this morning's
tragedy involving a coupon for free mascara and my leather couch,
do we?

               So as events warrant, I'll keep everyone filled in on my
secretary's progress on the Beverly Hills Survivor show. I think she
could pull off the whole victory thing if she doesn't kill them all with
their feather boas and leather briefcases first.

              Until that point, let's examine some decks! And Trish.
that's mucilage, not honey.


Hello Crash. I built my deck called the Ozma deck a couple months ago. It
was made mostly to kill off Wigglytuffs and Clefables with Hitmonchan.
Electabuzz was put in the for the Raindance Killer and because not many
people use fighting decks. The Clefable is a must becuase it can use
Metronome to hurt big hitters like Chansey or Wigglytuff and Energy Removals
don't hurt it. The Scyther are in there for the free retreat cost and they
take any energy. This deck isn't used as a Haymaker. It's made for basic
Pokemon except for Clefable. I can't really think of anything to change
because anything I take out hurts my deck. I was wondering if there is
anything you can change? I would greatly appreciate it. Here's the Ozma

11 Electric Energies
4 Basic Electabuzz

15 Fighting Energies
4 Basic Hitmonchan

2 Clefairy
2 Clefable
4 Jungle Scyther

2 Prof. Oak
4 Double Colorless Energy
3 Gust of Wind
3 Super Energy Removal
4 Energy Removal
3 Computer Search

That's my deck. It's a good deck but I want to make it the best it can be. I
can't thing off anything to add or take out. PLEASE HELP! Thanx a bunch!

    That doesn't answer my question of what an Ozma is. I guess
that's irrelevant.

            This deck isn't reall that bad. You just have too much
Energy. Overcompensation is a sad thing to behold. Well, if we
remove some Energy, there will be more room for Trainers.

             But first: The Pokemon

           Electabuzz, Hitmonchan, Scyther. These are standard fare
and there's nothing wrong with them. I've gone over countless times
why they're good. So I'll move on and save my breath.

            Clefairy, Clefable: Well, Metronome is sure an attractive
attack, but Clefairy is a little pink ball of pure wimpiness. That
sucker is just asking to be KO'd. Clefable is better and can often
deal the final blow first for just one Colorless Energy. Still, I have
some real hesitation with Clefable. It still suffers from the Fighting
Weakness and double Retreat cost.
              I much prefer Ditto over the Fairy family. Ditto is a bit
more adaptable and gains HP and Retreat benefits as well. You
also don't need to worry about evolving where Ditto is concerned. I'd
switch them in instead.

                As for the Trainers, you'll want them to be quick and

               Oak, Bill, Computer Search. These are standard issue.
You're not getting out of here without them in the deck. You had
NO Bills in your version. For shame!

                Gust of Wind is good and necessary in a Haymaker. At
least you had them. I'm adding a 4th though. GoW really pays off.

                Super Energy Removals are enough. You don't need the
regular versions as well. That's overkill and you could really use
some other Trainers in their place. SER, timed right, is sufficient to
give you an edge.

                 Haymaker NEEDS PlusPowers. Hitmonchan and
Scyther often need that additional 10 points of damage to get off a
KO one round earlier than would normally happen. Many Pokemon
have 70 or 80 HP. Scyther can truly benefit from a PlusPower or 2,
turning 60 damage into 70 or 80.

                    Rocket Sneak Attack is critical for getting
threatening Enemy Trainers out of contention. One PlusPower or
Gust of Wind can truly ruin your plans, so it's best to put that card
back in your opponent's deck, out of immediate reach.

                   Scoop Up is also a very excellent card to have in your
deck. It's like a combination Switch and Pokemon Center for one
Pokemon. Plus it totally negates your opponent's last couple
rounds of effort.

                    Concerning Energy, 20 is good. It's not a lot, but it's
well enough to cover the Pokemon you'll have in play. None of them
require a lot of Energy, so you'll be safe. I'm also recommending
some Full Heal Energies. They work wonders and make a great
surprise against an opponent who thinks he has time to bide.

                     Let us revise this thing now. Um, wait one
minute....Trish. Yeah, those are reinforcements for torn looseleaf
paper. They're not spare zeroes. Just make me some coffee.

                  Ok, getting on with things....

                     4 Electabuzz
                     4 Scythers
                     4 Hitmonchans
                     3 Dittos
                     4 Bills
                     3 Professor Oaks
                     3 Computer Searches
                     4 PlusPowers
                     4 Gusts of Wind
                     4 Super Energy Removals
                     3 Rocket Sneak Attacks

                     4 Double Colorless Energy
                     7 Fighting Energy
                     7 Lightning Energy
                     2 Full Heal Energies

            Voila! (That's French for "I Can't Beleive It's Not Butter!")

          This deck is fixed, and though it's nothing really out of the
ordinary, it will still work just fine and should garner you quite a few
           I think I'll be taking the money myself for the next 12
weeks. I don't even want to guess what Trish may do with it.

               Huh...Oh my coffee. Gee, I'm amazed you remembered
about it once you left that doorway. Well I'll take it I guess. Oh,
good you brought me cream and sugar too. Thanks. I could really
use some coffee about noPPPBBBBBBBBBBBBLLLTTTTTTTT!!

               There's grinds in my coffee! Didn't you use a filter?? Oh,
there it is, underneath my cup. Let me share a few secrets with
you, Trish.
                 The coffee filter is not a doily. Second, I use coffee
grinds, not instant. Look, I'll make my own coffee from now on. Just
go beck to the desk and try not to touch anything.

                   It's gonna be a very long 12 weeks.

                               Good Luck!!
                            Dr. Crash Landon