Welcome to September. The last hurrahs of summer are behind
us and we, as a nation, are silently gearing up for the inevitable
coming of autumn. Already, screen doors are being replaced with
glass and winter coats are appearing on store shelves across the
As of today, most schools have reopened and in fact, many of
you readers were forced to make the weary trudge, or take the bus
ride of defeat back to school. Yes, every child I know has gone
back to further their education...except one.
"Is it my turn to talk, Dr. Crash?"
Not yet Todd.
*Sigh*...some of you long time Shrink-Tank afficiandos may
recognize Todd. For those who don't, Todd is my next door
neighbor's child. He's 6 years old and a one man demolition crew.
Todd was SUPPOSED to start school today, but a head lice
outbreak amongst the faculty kept the school shut for another
Todd's parents, who obviously were not planning upon having a
child when they chose their careers as an attorney and a sales
representative, gave me a healthy sum of money to watch Todd for
the day, in lieu of school. Sure I'll have to put up with his screechy
whining for 9 hours, but I'll be able to get myself the new flat screen
TV I've been wanting for so long.
So Todd, what did you bring to entertain yourself today?
"Can I talk now, Dr. Stupidhead?"
Not if you keep that tone up. So what's that? A Speak &
"Yeah. But my parents got me one with these really hard
words. They're jerks."
What words does it have?
"Here. Tell me if these words mean anything to you.
[RIBALDRY, CRENELLATION, NONTERRAQUEOUS,
BANDY, RAGAMUFFIN, PROLIFERATE]
Ummm. Here, have some paper and some pencils and put
that thing away. I've got a deck to fix.
"Ha! I knew it! You don't know those words either. My
Daddy's right. You're just a moron. A big, stupidheaded moron!"
Yeah, a big stupidheaded moron, who has a job he enjoys,
doesn't have a worthless child to watch over, can do what he likes
in his free time and isn't going bald like your Dad. Yup, I'm a moron
all right. Go sit in that chair and be silent.
OK, now that Todd's taken care of for now, I'll be able to fix
your deck up. Let's see it.
Yeah, yeah, its me again. Sorry to bother you again.
You have to give me points for being persistant,
though, eh? I have the same deck, Heavens Minions. I'm
still trying to see what I can do to make it more
resistant to decks like Haymakers, which I'm likely to
see at the Super Trainer Showdown. I fyou remember,
It's sorta a deformed Turbo Wiggly. Well here we go,
maybe you'll answer this time...(I have my fingers
3 TR Abra
3 Kadabra (1 TR)
2 Mr. Mime
2 Professor Oak
3 Energy Removal
2 Super Energy Removal
3 Gust of Men
3 Double Colorless
So, there it is. I can only hope you answer soon!
(the 7th grows near..) Thanks again, and I look foward
to your next update! Say hi to Hypno for me...
Ok, I'm giving you points for persistence. But I'm taking them
away for "Wigglypuff". It's TUFF!! TUFF, dangit!
Todd: "Wigglypuff? Ha! What a cretin!"
Do you even know what a cretin is Todd?
Todd: Umm...I'll be quiet again."
So you're hoping to take this deck to the STS? Well, you won't
get terribly far with it like this. It's not bad, but needs to be
tightened more for a super rigid tourney environment. I didn't get to
go to the last STS and haven't been able to make plans to attend
any qualifiers for the East Coast one either. Stiil, i've kept tabs and
read reports all over so I think I can at least offer you some safe
The best deck to bring to the Qualifiers seems to be
either Haymaker or Wiggly. Wiggly was the most prominent at the
West Coast STS. It also won, if I recall correctly.
You'll then need to be able to play on par with other
turbo Wiggly decks. First, this means 4 Jigglypuffs, 4 Wigglytuffs.
Next you'll want to lose the Mr. Mimes. Most decks are
now easily able to deal less than 30 damage, which makes Mime a
sitting duck. Hitmonchan and Electabuzz, the 2 biggest Basics out
there, will destroy Mr. Mime.
The Abras and Kadabras aren't a very good addition
either. Kadabra has a mere 60 HP, which is perfect for a one-hit-
Wiggly KO. Abra is just plain pathetic. 30 or 40 HP? Nope. That's
Hitmonchan and electabuzz bait. Sorry.
Scyther, while good, seems to be a tad slow in the
super Wiggly decks at the STS. Scyther also competes for the
Double Colorless Energys needed for Wiglytuff. Some people will
tell you Scyther works, and to be truthful, it probably does. But I
feeel a wiggly deck for the STS could use other Pokemon more.
Of all the Pokemon you could include, Hitmonchan
could very well be your best choice. Hitmonchan can take care of
Wigglytuffs pretty fast, Jigglypuffs even faster. It has good HP and
can easily attack on turn one. The weakness to Psychic shouldn't
be a huge element. I'm sure a few rogue decks will carry Promo
Mewtwos or something, but Wigglytuff is a great answer to them.
The other card I'd consider including is Fossil
Magmar. Since Scyther is still popular and could appear in
numerous decks at the STS, Magmar is a great way to deal with
that early game threat. Plus smokescreen and poison is great
against anything, especially Wigglytuff. The rest of Magmar's stats
speak for itself.
The rest of your deck, aside from Energy, should
be Trainers. You'll need all the Trainers you can get at the STS.
I'm going to assign the standard regimen of Bills, Oaks
and Computer Searches. These are important.
Next up is some PlusPowers. With a Wigglytuff, one
PlusPower can mean the difference between KO'ing someone's
Hitmonchan or waiting another round to finish it off. They are a
must in Wigglytuff decks now.
What on earth is Gust of Men? You had that typed
out above. I'll just pretend you meant Gust of Wind and not ask
anymore questions. Anyhow, 3-4 Gusts is a great idea. Good
You will not need any Defenders. Wigglytuff is all out
offense. Defender just slows things down for the most part. That's
not what you're looking for.
DO include some Energy Removals though. Not SER
though. In the fever pitch environment that is the STS, you can't
afford to slow yourself down any. I've begun to use regular Energy
Removals in my Wiggly decks lately and it works every bit as well
as SER. Plus you don't run the risk of handicapping yourself by
sacrificing any Energy.
Put in some Rocket Sneak Attacks. If you can
remove a Gust of Wind, a PlusPower or a Scoop Up as an
immediate threat to your winning, then it's very worth it to do so.
RSA is in just about every winning deck.
Challenge is all right, but nobody is going to let you
have a full bench and nobody uses that card outside of a Wigglytuff
deck. You may as well say, "Hey. I'm, playing Wigglytuff. Will you
let me gain an absurd advantage by letting me fill my bench up
right away?" You'll just be told to draw 2 cards and with all the
other card drawing, that may not be such a smart thing to do. No
sense decking yourself if you don't have to.
Item Finder is the last card I'd suggest for you. It's
pretty basic, but important nonetheless. A couple is good enough.
They're really not useful until later in the game anyhow.
As for Energy counts, you had 24 Energy. That's
pretty high for a Wigglytuff deck which doesn't require much at all
to get by. With Wigglytuff, I can almost always get by with 18 or 19
Energy. So can everyone else it seems.
You'll need the normal 4 Double Colorless Energies, 8
Fighting Energies and 7 Fire Energies.
Let's see the finalized list now, and get that crayon
out of your nose Todd! You don't know where that thing's been.
Hypno uses those crayons sometimes and I definitely don't wanna
know where he's been somedays.
3 Fossil Magmars
4 Professor Oaks
4 Computer Searches
3 Gusts of Wind
2 Item Finders
3 Rocket Sneak Attacks
4 Energy Removals
4 Double Colorless Energy
7 Fire Energy
7 Fighting Energy
This deck should operate just like any standard
Wigglytuff deck. If you're even slightly familiar with Wigglytuff, then
it should be obvious how to play. The non Wiggly Pokemon are in
there as meta-game choices for dealing with what you're likely to
come up against.
With that, you may pay my secretary as you leave. I
wish you luck in your qualifier. Be sure to pay my secretary or you
won't make it to your match though. You don't want to become
another blood splotch in front of her desk, do you?
As for you Todd, I'm getting hungry...what say
we...Ummm. What have you done to my wall??
"Nothing bad. It's pretty now."
Todd, you've scribbled all over my wall. Haven't you been
told not to write on things like that?
"Mom and Dad encourage me to express myself."
Well not on my walls they don't!
"Does this mean I can't have any lunch?"
No come on Todd. And get those crayons out of your
nose. Crayon on my walls is one thing. Snot is another entirely.
....What I'd like to know is where he learned to draw
DaVinci' s "Last Supper" entirely in Crayola crayon. This kid is
Dr. Crash Landon
my signature line