Hey, come in. Have a seat. It'll just be a minute. I'm running on
schedule for once. I've just gotta have a word with Trish, my interim

       When I say "file these folders" it does not mean to reduce
them to a pile of dry cardboard pulp with a carpenter's rasp. What
did they teach you in secretarial school, anyway?

          Trish: Well I did pretty good in nail painting 101.

       Yeah, so did my regular secretary. Some things are universal I

       For those who aren't current with developments in the Shrink
Tank, my secretary is sequestered in an undisclosed mansion
someplace in Beverly Hills for CBS's Survivor spinoff "Survivor-
Beverly Hills".
       The constestants, all rich and snobby elite, must spend 12
weeks in a mansion with only the barest of luxuries, such as just
one hot tub for everyone to share and place settings with as few as
three forks. It's gonna be torture for some of those people. My
secretary's parents are ludicrously wealthy, so she qualified for
entry. I think she only comes to work for me as a joke. Of course
the actual work she does is a joke too, so it really is moot.

      The first episode aired last night and it was everything I'd hoped
it would be.
      The contestants were ushered into their new surroundings.
immediately half of them recoiled in horror as the first thing they
saw was a marble vase in the foyer which totally clashed with the
crushed velvet chairs and inlaid parquet floors.
      Bunny tired of looking at the atrocity and smashed it to bits.
Gustave yelled at her since he figured they could have easily
auctioned it off on E-Bay for a tidy sum and bought something that
matched the foyer's interior. Lesley just moped and whined
because some of the dust from the vase scattered and settled on
her 700 dollar pumps, dulling the mat gloss.

      They settled into their rooms and were dismayed to find that
the showering and bathing facilities were contained in the same
unit instead of being seperate sections of the bathroom. Pity.

      The first challenge for Elitist Immunity was held in the kitchen.
Whoever won this first challenge would be allowed to weild the
Scepter of Superiority during the first "Shareholder's Meeting". The
Scepter guarantees that its holder cannot be kicked out of the
mansion that evening.
     The challenge itself was for each person to perform a simple
task. They had to make a bowl of cereal without help from anyone.

       Gustave refused to touch the box of Froot Loops he'd been
given because he is a major shareholder in Kellogg's, General Mill's
largest rival and he couldn't be seen on television involving himself
with the competitor's product.
        Vance was shocked when he managed to get the cardboard
box open, only to find a second layer of frustration in the form of a
thick plastic bag. He gave up and went to read Newsweek.
        Tawny refused to have anything to do with the challenge until
she was allowed to consult her dietician on whether 30 calories
was over her daily allowance.
        Siobhan just stared at the box and cursed about how much
education in America has really slipped since she graduated from
finishing school and how could the producers of this cereal allow
this kind of retardation to continue by purposely misspelling "fruit"?
        Rico made the fatal mistake of pouring the milk in the box
first and then trying to get the sludgy mass into a bowl, only to to
spill some on his Armani suit and set him grumbling upstairs to
find a maid.
        Kylie kept on griping about how Froot Loops have too many
colors and that she wouldn't be caught dead eating such a "tacky"
        Minerva, who is ecologically aware, announced that she only
eats organically grown fruit and couldn't find anywhere on the box
that said the fruit in Froot Loops was grown and harvested to her
        Claude decided he'd just rather have a Powerbar, but decided
against that too once he discovered that he had to figure out how to
open it as well. He presumably starved the whole day.
        Bradley, who is obviously a tad brighter than the rest, got the
crazy idea to look for the directions on the box. He was severely
dissapointed by the lack of directions and lost accordingly, but he
WAS delighted to find that, if they went through this challenge two
more times, he could send away for a DragonballZ wristwatch.
        Dahlia stamped her foot in protest of this challenge and
claimed that CBS was violating her chosen way of life as a
vegetarian and clearly there were no vegetables in Froot Loops.
        Morris, who is apparently anal-retentive, opened the top of the
box first, and, just to be thorough, opened the bottom of the box as
well. He did the same with the inner bag and wound up dumping
the contents all over the floor. It would not have been so bad if he
didn't repeat the process with the carton of milk.
       Bunny was simply mesmerized by all the pretty colors and
swirls and never got any further than that.
       Lesley, who is by far the dippiest of all the contestants, was
doing fine until she got to the milk portion of the challenge. She
stared at the carton of milk, which read 2%, and demanded that
the producers tell her what the other 98% was.
       Frederick, a take charge kind of guy, wrestled with the inner
plastic seal for several minutes before leaving the room in a huff. He
reappeared a few minutes later with a double barrel hunting
shotgun in his hands and blew the box to smithereens. Several
Froot Loops did land in his bowl, but no milk did when he shot that
too, so he lost.
       Clayton might have accomplished the task, but was never
given the chance. In a furious rage over his defeat, Frederick put a
hole through Clayton's box of Froot Loops too. Clayton grabbed his
cereal bowl, put it over his head for protection and ran screaming
from the kitchen.
       My secretary must have drawn upon her years at college
where she perfected laziness because she swiftly seized the box
of Froot Loops, dumped them in her bowl and poured the milk over
them, but not before picking out the yellow Loops. She's not big on
anything flaovored like lemons. She was deemed the winner and
was awarded the Scepter.

       Later that night, they held the Shareholder's Meeting to kick
someone out. The votes were close, but in the end it was Tawny
who was sent packing. It seems that earleir in the day, she'd
thoroughly annoyed the other tenants by pouring six boxes of 
aromatherapy salts into the swimming pool so she could relax
without having to go into the hot tub with everyone else.

       That's pretty much how it happened. I know it's long, but this
was the first week and there were lots of people there. Next week
promises to be just as asinine, so stay tuned.

      I can tell by the glazed over look on your eyes that you'd really
prefer this deck fix get moving. Well, so would I. Trish is using
Scotch tape to keep the Post-it notes on the wall again...sigh.
     Into my office we go...


 Hey Crash, whattup?
My name's Adrian and I've got a great deck here I would like you to try
to improve.  The strategy is simple.  I combine Lt. Surge Raticate's
Super Fang with Jynx/Mr. Mime's meditate to create instant prize
gratification.  Well enough of that, let's get to the deck.

3 Lt. Surge Rattata
2 Lt. Surge Raticate
3 Jynx
2 Mr. Mime
4 Doduo
3 Dodrio (alternative to Scyther who helps out the strategy)

3 Professor Oak
1 Bill
2 Erica (strictly experimental. . . 2 Erica = 3 Bill with less risk of
3 Switch (asleep, confused, paralyzed. . .)
2 Energy Removal
2 Super Energy Removal
2 Gust of Wind
2 Potion (Salvage Rats)
2 Super Potion (funny when opponent thinks Jynx is finally almost out!)
2 Nightly Garbage Run (makes choice to Oak easier)

4 Double Colorless
18 Psychic

It's a pretty good deck right now, but I know it can be better.  Any help
you could give would be greatly appreciated!

   Wow. It's been, like, forever and a Tuesday since I've seen a
Jynx-Fang deck wander into my office. Nothing like a new set to
revive old deck styles, huh?

    This was a pretty popular theme when the only set around was
Base Set 1. The lack of much anything to threaten Jynx or
Raticate made it pretty popular. It was also the first deck to rely
upon a multiple card combo. It wasn't bad, but it had a tendency to
be unreliable at times. It was fun. really fun, if it did work though. I'll
see how I can help this one out.

       Your Pokemon aren't bad. I can see some problems with the
numbers of each, but nothing that I'd remove.

      Since the focus of the deck is the Raticate/Jynx combo, you
really have to make sure you can get them both into play. 3 Jynxes
is enough, but only 2 Surge's Raticates is not. Up your Raticate
number by one, equalling the ratio of Jynxes to Raticates. Toss in
one more Surge's Ratatta to make sure you've got the starter first.
      Conversely, the Dodrio element is only an aid to the real
strategy, so you can lessen the Doduo/Dodrio count to 3 and 2,
respectively. Both have a Resistance to Fighting to help out
Raticate and Dodrio has no retreat if you do need to put him out.

     The only concern I have with the Pokemon is Mr. Mime. He's
good, no doubt, but many players have found a way to get around
him. Fossil Magmar is one of the most common and effective.
Magmar's 10 point attack will get through and possibly poison
Mime, sealing it's doom in 2 turns.
     But Mr. Mime does have Meditate and may come in handy
against a few badnasties like Promo Mewtwo or Scyther. So I'll
leave him in. He works, despite the inherent risk.

     Your Trainers are a bit more haphazard. I have seen lots worse
though, so don't be crestfallen.
     For the card drawing, the Oaks are just fine. But I'd really
reccommend using Bills. I like the Erika card, but there are times
to use it and times not to. There's no real need for it in this deck.
You're trying to lock the opponent into a situation where you kill
each of his Pokemon in 2 turns. You should not be handing him
    In place of the Erikas, use Computer Searches. They're highly
dependable and risk free.

     Instead of having all the potions, try using Scoop Ups. I'm sold
on the uses of Scoop Up, even on evolutions. First, it heals all
damage. Second it acts as a Switch at the same time, which in
this deck is a real good thing. Recovering from Scooping your
Raticate isn''t very hard.

     The Switches really should not be necessary. You've got
Dodrios, so nothing will cost more than 1 to retreat. Raticate,
Rattata, Doduo, Dodrio and Mime will all be free to shuffle around.
Jynx will only require 1. Switch will become hand filler. You're
better off finding something better.

      Gust of Wind, Rocket Sneak Attack and Nightly Garbage Run
should all be here in multiples, as should Item Finders. This deck
may need some time to get up to full steam, so Item Finders may
play a huge part in several games.

      Lastly, Super Energy Removals will give you some edge in
making sure the enemy's Pokemon  don't run away before you can
complete the KO with Jynx or Mr. Mime.

        As for Energy, well there's not a lot to think about. Of course
you'll need 4 Double Colorless Energy and a bundle of Psychic
Energy. Additionally, since you voiced a concern about Sleep,
Poison and Paralysis, I'd suggest adding in 3 Full Heal Energies.
They really do work.

              And now for the revised decklisting:

          4 Lt. Surge's Rattatas
          3 Lt. Surge's Raticates
          3 Doduos
          2 Dodrios
          3 Jynxes
          2 Mr. Mimes

          3 Professor Oaks
          4 Bills
          2 Computer Searches
          3 Gusts of Wind
          3 Scoop Ups
          4 Super Energy Removals
          2 Item Finders
          2 Rocket Sneak Attacks
          2 Nightly Garbage Runs

          4 Double Colorless Energies
          3 Full Heal Energies
          11 Psychic Energies

      Voila! (That's French for Waaaaasssssuuuuuup?) The deck
has been tuned down to a finely crafted gimmick machine. I say
gimmick because this combo has the tendency to run and hide on
occasion. There will be games where you'll scrape a victory out just
by using Jynx's Meditate and Dodrio's Rage attacks effectively. But
that approach isn't terrible and will work in a pinch, so go to town.

         Once again and for the next eleven weeks, I'll be taking the
payment myself. I tried to see if Trish could handle the job, but
when she asked me how to make change for a personal check, I
quickly changed my mind.
        I'll be back next week to review my secretary's progress in
the Beverly Hills Survivor mansion. Stay tuned for those nerve
wracking developments. Until then have fun.

                          Good Luck!!
                       Dr. Crash Landon