Hola! Bienvenue! Sprechen schie Deutsch? Well, me neither.

 Unless you've been stranded on an island with a CBS film crew for
the past week, you've probably heard about the new Crossover
Deck Fixes happening in the Deck Garage. This looks like it will be
continuing for some time, and today is no exception.
     Speaking of CBS film crews...several have written me to find out
how my secretary is doing in the Survivor: Beverly Hills Mansion
show. Due to some unfortunate circumstances last week, I was
just not in the mood to write about the show, but things are looking
up now.
      The object of the show, which my secretary is competing on,
is for 16 rich snobs to coexist in a mansion with only the barest of
luxuries, like Evian spring water instead of Perrier. Oh, the
      Week 3 was rather slow. The 14 remaining guests had settled
into a familiar routine, pausing only briefly to dodge Frederick's
rampaging gunshot blasts. What a pip, that Frederick.
      After a failed Team Competition to be the first to finish a six
pack of Yoo-Hoo and jumbo bag of Funyuns, Gustave was awarded
the Scepter of Superiority once again, thereby assuring him an
additional week of torture.  The elitist told to hit the bricks last
week was Lesley. Her infatuation with Precious Moments ceramic
figurnes was just too much for the others to endure. They wanted
to be able to complete a meal without becoming nauseated by their
sickeningly saccharine eyes. So out she went.
      Which brings us to this week...with 13 people left, things
began to get more competitive. More space meant more greed.
      Minerva made a bold move by getting up at 4 am to put on her
makeup, forcing everyone else to wait until 9 am to use the
      Frederick, who was sick of Siobhan's off-key caterwauling on
the piano, put several rounds of shot through the strings and made
everyone else very happy.
      Rico accidentally spilled his Chateau Briand wine on Vance's
copy of the New Yorker and a bitter rivalry ensued, neither
speaking to the other for the next two days.
      The Immunity Challenge had all the snobs line up in the main
trophy room before a large flat-screen television. They were each
shown the face of a celebrity and asked, one-by-one to name that
star. Whoever got the most correct would get the Sceptre.

     Siobhan was first. She mistakenly identified Bob Denver, of
Gilligan's Island fame as the guy from the Gorton's Fish Sticks
box. She was out.
     Bradley was shown a picture of The Rock rom the WWF. He
confidently stated it was Dan Marino. Bradley was then made to
confidently leave the room for being wrong.
     Minerva was given a photograph of  Andy Griffith. He said it was
Andy Rooney from 60 Minutes.Not even close.
    The rest of the houseguests were equally abyssmal in their
    The winner was Frederick who technically correctly identified
Tipper Gore as " That famous woman who does that thing she
does." This was the closest anyone got and he was awarded the
Sceptre. Frederick then shot the TV.
    Gustave wound up being the one to hit the happy highway for his
comments on how perhaps Ross Perot wasn't so bad after all.

   Next week, I shall keep everyone posted on my Secretary's
progress in Snobbywood. So far she's keeping a low profile and
scaring the heck out of the other contestants with her razor-honed

   But now, where was I? Oh yes...there's a deck fix to do too. Who

   This is the deck that I have chosen to share with one of the
Pojo's freshest faces, Chad "Jedi" Mills. Jedi is infamous on the
#pojo Mirc channels and is an excellent player to boot. You can
see how Jedi chooses to tackle this deck in his Garage, Jedi's
Jerkwater Jungle. Having two people fix the same deck is like
finding a second layer of chocolates under the first.
   On with the fix!!

Greetings! I've recently developed a new deck, that uses
Dark Vileplume, and Mew to shut down your opponents evolutions
AND use
of Trainers! I've named it (obviously) Giga Lockdown. I'm aware it's
quite slow to start, so I need a way to both strengthen it, and speed
it up.

Oddish (TR) x4
Dk Gloom x3
Dark Vileplume x2 (one holo and one non-holo. Wizards doesn't
errata here...) Aerodactyl x3 Mew x2 Mewtwo (MP) x2 Scyther x2
Scyther x2

Mysterious Fossil x4
Prof. Oak x2
Pokémon Breeder x2
Boss's Way x4

Potion Energy x3
DCE x3
Full Heal Energy x3
Grass x8
Psychic x11

Hope you can help my deck, and Thank You in advance!

    Boy, if ever a deck needed some help, it's this one. The player
obviously has a firm grasp on how to build decks and strategy, but
he still needs some finessing in terms of making his deck flow
    This is a case of burning your candle at both ends.
    On one hand, he wants to restrict Trainer usage by Dark
     On the other hand, he's trying to keep Evolutions down with
Aerodactyl and Mew.
      Both decks on their own, can be potent, but a bit unreliable.
Combining them both is a sure fire way to lose quickly. Let's
examine why they don't work together.

       Aerodactly/Mew decks are a bit fragile since they rely upon 2
Pokemon to work together. Aerodactyl is a Stage 2 and Mew is a 
low HP Basic. Both are risky. Even if they do both come out,
there's no guarantee the strategy will work since many players use
nothing but Basics and only Stage 1 Pokemon, which are
extremely fast in evolving. Aerodactyl is Scyther fuel and Mew isn't
that strong in the first place.
       Dark Vileplume decks also rely upon a Stage 2 Pokemon, one
with low HP for that matter. The strategy they use of shutting down
Trainers is sound, but doesn't eliminate the threat of strong
Pokemon like Hitmonchan and Electabuzz. It also prevents you
from using your own Trainers which may be needed in a desperate
situation. You can't even play Goop Gas Attack to catch a break
for a turn.

     The reason they won't work together is that one strategy offsets
the other. AeroMew needs plenty of Trainer support since both
Pokemon are frail and slow. Dark Vileplume would keep this need
out of reach.
     Conversely, Dark Vileplume is severly injured by Aerodactyl's
Prehistoric Power. Dark Vileplume is a Stage 2. With Aerodactyl, it
can never reach that point.

     The next problem with this deck is the amaxing lack of
Trainers. There's a couple Oaks and some needed Pokemon
Breeders for all those stage 2's, but that's it for mainstream
Trainers. Boss's Way only works toward the Vileplume line.
Mysterious Fossil doesn't help anyone but Aerodactyl. This is bad.
     Even decks with Dark Vileplume need lots of Trainers. The
Trainers are essential since they help you establish your lock early
on and control the game with your Bench. If you rely solely upon
the Pokemon, this will never happen in time to win the game.
     Aerodactyl and Mew need strong fighters to support the
strategy, since Hitmonchan or Fossil Magmar are unaffected and
fast. This deck lacks this element and will get eaten alive for it.
     The same principle applies to Dark Vileplume. If your Pokemon
has a Power which helps your metagame, you can't afford to fight
with it too. Once that Pokemon is KO'd, your strategy is Knocked
Out as well. The lack of quick powerhouses hurts this deck.

     Finally this deck has an assortment of Energy, three colors of
which are absolutely necessary. If you want to have three colors to
your deck, they had better not be Evolutions or you're just asking
for trouble. Evolutions almost always need multiple copies of one
Energy type and this severely hampers your deck's ability to
      The other problem with this deck is that Energy composes
nearly one half the deck's content. Wow is this bad. This means
that almost every other card you draw will be Energy. When the
pressure is on and you need some Bench support or a useful
Trainer, getting a lousy Psychic Energy will kill you.
       My standard of practice is that each deck should work with an
average amount of 20 Energy. Some dekcs like Haymaker can rely
upon less and survive. Other decks like Dark Muk decks seem to
require just a touch more for me. But this ultimately works out to a
good average of one Energy for every three cards you draw which is
very acceptable.

        So what this all boils down to is that this deck is at odds with
itself. Either the Aero./Mew or the Dark Vileplume element would
have to go. And even then, there wouldn't be much left to work with.
        Sometimes we try an idea and it just doesn't pan out as
hoped. Don't feel bad when this happens. Experimentation is the
key to success, but don't be afraid to admit failure and move on.
        I could wreck my brain trying to salvage this deck, but it
would never really function that great since the whole premise was
flawed to begin with. So, and I hate to do this, my advice would be
to just dissasemble the whole thing and start from scratch with one
aspect or the other. Aero/Mew OR Dark Vileplume. They won't
work together.
        I try to keep within the deck's original intent as much as
possible when fixing them. But when the deck won't work in any
way, shape or form, I think the best strategy is to recoup your
losses and go in a different direction. It takes a good player to
know when he's barking up the wrong tree.

        And voila! (That's French for "I live in...a VAN...down by... the
RIVER!") This deck isn't really fixed, but it is the best option I feel
in this case.
        However, there may be hope. Since this is a crossover fix,
Jedi may have seen something I could not. Check out Jedi's
Jerkwater Jungle to see if he was able to pull this deck out of the
scrapyard and get it running again. I stand by my decision, but I
admit, I'm interested in seeing if he has any other ideas.

        I'm sorry I couldn't help in the way you'd hoped, but I
explained why the deck was simply not viable. Better luck next
time and keep your chin up, try again and send it my way. I'd like
to see what else you can create.

                       Good Luck!!
                  Dr. Crash Landon