Stupid radio....come on!!

         I can't get my radio to work. I need it now of all times to
come in clear and precise. Of course, it's not gonna work for me.
Every other day it's fine. Today? No.
         Oh, yeah...heh. I'm trying to win tickets to see Lenny
Kravitz. He's coming to my area in a few weks and I'd love to go,
but of course the tickets sold out in a matter of hours. Lenny's a
popular guy.
         Through methods I'm not entirely clear on, radio statons
always seem to be able to score scads of these tickets. Must be
some special agreement with the promoters to get publicity or
something equally low. Anyhow, the radio is my last chance to be
able to see Lenny live. "Are You Gonna Go My Way?" is awesome
on CD, but nothing can compare with a live performance, I'm sure.
          The DJ mentioned something about Lenny tickets about 10
minutes ago and a trivia contest. I've managed to set the station's
number into my auto-speed-dial, so I'm ready.

          Wait! Here's the DJ now, or else it's a Jack in the Box
commercial. I can't be sure.'s him all right. OK! They're
announcing the rules. OK, can't be an employee. Not a problem. I
get 30 seconds to answer...fine. 15th caller...decent odds. It's
tough to be 1st or so. 15th is much simpler.
          Here's the question!

               "What is the scientific family name for the common

           What?! What kind of dumb question is that?? How on earth
should I know? I thought it would be some sort of Kravitz
trivia...dang.  Hedgehogs my butt...

         Sigh. I guess those tickets are out of the question now.
Hedgehogs...right. I guess I can get back to my work now. I see
you've brought a deck for me to fix. Good. It'll take my mind off
missing out on Lenny tickets. Hedgehogs...really. If this is a
Sandslash deck, I'm gonna scream. Just warning you.

> << Hello, here is my deck
>  POKEMON (15)
>  2 Chansey
>  2 Lapras
>  2 Lickitung
>  2Articuno
>  3Squirtle (base)
>  2 Dark Blastoise
>  2 Ditto
>  TRAINERS (26)
>  2 Rockets Sneak Attack
>  4 Professor Oak
>  3 Bill
>  3 Pluspower
>  3 gust of wind
>  2 Pokemon Breeder
>  2 Item Finder
>  2 Nightly Garbage Run
>  2 computer search
>  3 scoop up
>  ENERGY (19)
>  19 Water energy

>  The strategy is to use basic pokemon like ditto or articuno to stall or do
> lots of damage.  Then send out Dark Blastoise or if the situations good (i
> was facing a deck with 5 (!) Hitmonchans in it and was kickin butt with
> Articuno.)  stick with the basics.  This deck brought me some success at the
> League and i was wonderin if you could improve it.  See ya  >>

          OK, not bad. I have only one lingering question...what on
earth does "Jerry Town" have to do with anything in this deck?? I
mean, it's an oddly cool name, bur makes no sense. Jerry
Town...Hedgehogs...nothing makes sense anymore. Well, I should
probably fix this deck.

           Wow, is this deck a retreat monster. Lickitungs,
Blastoises, Lapras,'s a wonder you have any Energy
to attack. I'll have to do something to lighten up that load.

            First off, drop Lickitung. 90 HP is nice, but the attacks are
pretty weak in terms of damage. 3 Retreat is a killer too. Add in a
Fighting Weakness and Licky isn't that good. It's acceptable in
some decks, but not right here.
           Jack up the number of Chanseys. They make great walls
and can claim an easy Prize in a pinch. A ridiculously low Retreat
cost for such a high HP Pokemon is a gift horse you shouldn't look
in the mouth.
           I think Articuno should be your initial fighter. It comes in
with fair HP and no Weakness to exploit unlike other Water
Pokemon. This is valuable in a mainly Water deck. Electabuzz rips
through Blastoise and a lucky flip will destroy a Lapras in one shot.
Articuno can stall pretty well. Stick with him.
           As for the Blastoise family, I think a mix of regular and Dark
Blastoises will benefit you best. Having some Base Blastoises in
gives you the Raindance option
          Also, it may behoove you to include a couple Dark
Wartortles. Some players will take every chance they get to yank
the Pokemon Breeders from your hand with Lass or Rocket sneak
Attack. Dk. Wartortle is insurance against being stranded with
some pathetic Squirtles. Dk. Wartortle is also a good fighter itself
with Mirror Shell.
         As for Ditto, it makes a good all-purpose Pokemon. There is
always room for Ditto.

         Trainerwise,  we'll need a mix of heavy card drawing with
Pokemon support. Disruption isn't that critical since your work can
be done by the heavy hitters, although a few Rocket Sneak
Attacks may help in the long run.

        Oaks...check. Bills....check...add 1 more. 4 Bills in a
Blastoise deck is a must.
        Gust of Wind...yup. Great card. As Wilford Brimley, the
Quaker Oatmeal guy, would say, Gust of Wind. It's the right thing
to do and the right way to do it.
        Pokemon Breeder. Ideally, you should have the max of four in
here. Getting a fully stocked Blastoise out quick takes the
pressure off Articuno and Chansey.and gives you some extra
        PlusPower is pretty key in Raindance decks I've come to
learn. It may often mean the difference between hitting a
Hitmonchan for 60 or KO'ing it for 70. Dk. Blastoise can finish off a
Wigglytuff with a PlusPower too. Useful card and a nice surprise.
        Computer Search is a must have. If you don't know why, you
need more help than I can provide. Suffice to say, it's in every
winning deck.
         Energy Flow is now a card any Raindancer shouldn't be
without. Pick up and rearrange all your Energy with Energy's a dirty trick to play, but quite effective.
         Item Finder is always a nice insurance to have floating
around, so be sure to include a couple.
        Lastly, Scoop Up will let you pull Chansey and Articuno from
the heat of battle and let Blastoise in at the same time. It's a nice
combo in one card. Coooool.

        As for Energy, 4 Double Colorless energy is a must have for
Chanseys and Dittos. The rest should be Water Energy. Blastoise
can't do his thing without them.

          So here's Jerry Town all over again, a little better though.

         3 Articunos
         2 Chanseys
         2 Dittos
         4 Squirtles
         2 Dark Wartortles
         2 Blastoises
         2 Dark Blastoises

         3 Professor Oaks
         4 Bills
         2 Energy Flows
         2 Computer Searches
         3 Gusts of Wind
         2 Item Finders
         3 PlusPowers
         3 Pokemon Breeders
         2 Scoop Ups

         4 Double Colorless Energy
         13 Water Energy

        And Voila!! (That's french for "Spoooooooon!!!!") Now this
oddly titled deck will be able to cope a bit better, manage it's
Energy successfully and keep Lightning damage to a minimum.
Dark Blastoise is just evil if you can get it going. Don't be afraid to
have Articuno shoulder the workload though. It's more than capable.

        You are now cured. You can pay Trish as you exit. I'm just
gonna go listen to my Kravitz CD's and think about what could have
been. Stupid Hedgehogs...

         Oh hey Trish. Yeah I guess you can have the afternoon off.
It's a light work day. I'm just in a sour mood I suppose.
         What kind of question is "What is the scientific family name
of the common hedgehog?" Sheesh.

         What's that?


          Erinaceidae? That's it? How do you know that? You can't
figure out whether doors push or pull to open half the time. 
          You have a Sandslash...well that just figures. You had the
answer right in the room  next door. Great. You picked a fine time
to be useful.

          Guess I'll have to keep trying....somehow, I will get them! Or
I'll be struck by a bus and it won't matter. Then they can stick me
in the ground with the hedgehogs.

              Good Luck!!
          Dr. Crash Landon


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