Vulpix vulpix!

Many of you are wondering where I was last week. And the week before. I wish I could tell you, but I can't. I had to sign a special document--it was one of the conditions for Spike's release. So I think I'll just change the subject as quickly as possible, and around here that usually means posting some letters!


>Subject:Ninetales
>
>Vulpix, why is EVERYBODY saying Ninetales has Fire Spin/Blast in
>Gameboy???? He doesn't! The attacks he DOES have are Ember, Quick
>Attack,
>Roar, and Leer. I checked in the official Pokemon handbook with that
>Collector's Edition Poster in it. Why?!?!?! Do you know? Well, See Ya!


Okay. Erm... are you familiar with the concept that Ninetales evolves from Vulpix? You are? Okay. Good. Now then... you will note that Vulpix DOES have all those attacks (except for Fire Blast, which no Pokemon can learn on their own and can only be taught with a TM.) So, if you let your Vulpix gain experience and learn those attacks before you slap that funky Fire Stone on him, your Ninetales will have those attacks! Cool, huh?


>Subject:Snorlax
>
>Dear Spike,
>
>I know I have sent you alot of letters but I have to
>say you are the best of all the mechanics. You gotta
>love somebody who is a doom fan! and who is as funny
>as you! So when is H&S Media going to give you your
>own magazine? I have several things to say. First
>could pikachu charge the BFG cells. I mean he IS
>electric. Just stick his tail in there and zap! Or
>better yet use Pikachu himselfe instead of plasma
>cells.... Ok on to what I was going to write about.
>Snorlax VS. The Fat Guy
>(damn forgot his name) You know the big guy who shot
>non stop fireballs the size of a beach ball...
>I wonder who would be larger. Since doom's characters
>were'nt exactly made to scale its hard to tell...
>Just out of curiousity, what are your fav. levels from
>Doom Doom II?
>Mine would have to be Level Seven of Doom II the level
>after the first story naration. Opens up to the
>fatties blasting away at your ass. Then just when you
>think you've beat the level and the goodies in the
>middle are yours to reap, you hear it. RRrrrnch
>rrrrkrnch RRrrnch rrrkrnch.... among other fond levels
>are lv. 15 (DII) the one where you had to jump off the
>building accross molten lava. Lv. 22 (i think) with
>both the Cyberdiemon and the Spyder Mastermind popping
>out of no-where! and your like Holy S*** where did
>they come from, then just when you finish beating them
>and you see that switch (your thinking this must be
>the whole level... see all that lava outside) and who
>comes in, one of the most hated guys, the Arch Vile!!!
>Luckily the level designers prevented your worst
>nightmares... A ressurected cyberdiemon!!!!! I can
>play three of the midi's from Doom on my
>guitar/keyboard. I love the ending theme for Doom.
>"duu dudu duuuu duu duuuu duuduuuu dududu du du duuuuu
>du du duuuuu..." as the screen pans left onto the
>ravaged city in the background, smoke pillowing out
>the top of a skyscraper and the hero looking as always
>like his bad ass selfe hold the decapitated head of
>his precious pet bunny by its ears, and a shotgun in
>the other hand. BTW I was a little kid when doom came
>out but as you know this was before the ESRB rating
>system really kicked in. Have I gone psycho? No. Its
>not the media at fualt for your kids... and besides,
>the media is just a reflection of us and our culture.
>If you can't take responsibility for your own children
>then don't blame it on us!!! If I wanna blow the head
>of an imp and watch the puss and blood ooze out of the
>charred remains as it stains the floor and splatters
>the goat head textured walls I bloody will! If I want
>to run into a random room full to the brim with imps
>and watch them all melt as I blow off a round from my
>BFG then spin around with the shot gun and pick off
>the rest that teleported behind me I bloody will! and
>If I want to have a barrel of fun setting off a chain
>reaction of explosions etching the remains of a zombie
>into a brick wall like some nuclear explosion, I sure
>as bloody hell WILL! You bunch or Oppressive
>censorship HIPPIES!!! So what if you want to make a
>fully rendered model of the kid who sent in the deck
>with magikarp snorlax and base set gastly in sevens
>and only had 4 trainers which were all potions. Fully
>rendered with seven highly animated death sequences
>fine tuned to emulate real world physics using wire
>frame models in a simulated world. then place that
>character into your Doom wad file along with the 3D
>Barney and the custom made Simpsons sound effects...
>Hey do you remember the Gameboy Game Smiley 2000?
>Where you went around and just shot smiley faces?
>It would be very easy to make it into an emulation
>then edit the smiley model to look like base set
>gastly. hmmm.... Ok one more quick question then I'm
>done. Machamp VS. the Crusher who would win? could
>Machamp hold it in place?
>
>Sincerely,
>After reviewing the letter I have decided to keep my
>identity annonymous...


VULPIX: First of all, I'm not Spike. I'm Vulpix. Second of all, the phrase "oppressive censorship hippies" made me laugh my tails off.

SPIKE: Vulpix called me over to answer this letter. Hmm, I'm not sure what to tell you. The levels from Doom II aren't my favorite, although if any of them had to be, it would probably be MAP29. I actually like Final Doom better... Evilution has some of the most beautiful levels I've ever seen, and Plutonia really takes the cake on gameplay. Plutonia 32 is one of my favorite levels to play, even though I can't finish the damn thing in under half an hour. =) Lastly, Machamp could probably hold the crusher up... but who knows.

VULPIX: Only two letters. Aww, nobody likes me. Anyway, that about wraps it up for today... so go answer the polls now!

-Vulpix
s_vulpix@yahoo.com


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