Call me sucker.

  < Bellowing voice from background > SUCKER!!

   Yes, there. Even my secretary agrees, I'm a big sucker and I'll explain
why..No, don't touch that Todd!  That cost a lot of money. Yes more than 2
quarters. No you can't touch it for 2 quarters. Leave it alone.

   I suppose you have already realized why I'm a sucker. I'm babysitting my
neighbor's son, Todd, again today. They had an insurance salesman's
convention to attend and their hotel wouldn't give children's discounts so I
reluctantly agreed to the job. They gave me something to make things go over
smoother this time. Todd doesn't know it, but I've got his most prized
posession, Wiggles the Bear in my clutches, so he'll behave or Wiggles gets

   He's been mostly good anyways. Sure he's taunted the venus flytrap and
tapped on the fish tank glass, but any 6 year old is curious. He's already
learned the hard way that going under the desk while my secretary is wearing
a pleated skirt is a good way to have the fear of God put into a person.

   I'd leave him out here, but she's likely to tie him down with duct tape
and go to lunch, so he comes into the inner office with me. Sorry. Let's go
ahead and fix that deck now! C'mon Todd!

>---I need a second opinion on my deck and a fix if
>your up to it.  My deck is a water/grass deck hence
>the name Waterbug.  Note: If you can think of a better
>name please tell me!  Anyway heres my deck:
>2 Lapras
>3 Psyduck
>3 Golduck
>3 Weedle
>2 Kakuna
>1 Beedrill
>2 Grimer
>1 Muk
>1 Scyther
>1 Computer Search
>2 Potion
>2 Super Potion
>2 Bill
>2 Switch
>1 Energy Search
>1 Energy Retrieval
>1 Energy Removal
>14 Grass
>14 Water
>1 DCE
>Ive learned from a friend to send out a Scyther with
>one grass energy on it.  Then next turn use Slash for
>the Whopping 60 damage!  Also Ive seen how well a
>Golduck can work with a fully loaded Hyper Beam and an
>Energy Removal.  Also, Psyduck isnt a bad Water
>Pokemon.  Fury Swipes is pretty good!  If you have
>comments please e-mail me at

    Ugh...I'm not sure what your friend said to you, but the way you
explained it, it's dead wrong. Yes you CAN use the Swords Dance one turn and
Slash for 60 the next turn. But since you forgot to mention that adding more
Energy, namely a Double Colorless Energy, is part of the process, I have to
assume that your friend may have misled you. If not, I apologize for chewing
you out. But, my claim is supported by the lonely 1 DCE in your deck. If you
were doing it the proper way, you'd likely have more than just 1. Scyther is
a great Pokemon, but not in the way you explained it. You may wanna tell
your friend to check the rules and text closer before he coaches anyone
again. :)

   Todd: Scyther is creepy...Charizard can beat him up good!

  Yes he can, but by the time Charizard comes out, Scyther has already
knocked out 2 or 3 other Pokemon.

   Todd: You're no fun Dr. Crash. You always make things bad for me. Hmppph.

    Eh, he'll get over it. Anyways, let's look at this deck now. I see a
definite deck strategy trying to emerge, We just need to cut out some of the
chaff to help it.
     First, I'd get rid of that Beedrill family. It's taking up a lot of
room for that one Beedrill, which isn't all that necessary for the strategy,
besides being a bug. That gives us 6 spaces for something more effective.
     I'd add 1 more Grimer and 1 more Muk. This seems like a very good bench
warmer in this deck, what with you not having any Pokemon Powers anywhere.
Damage Swap and Raindance will have something to think about.
     2 More Scythers will cushion your early game. Put those in.

    You said that Golduck was part of your strategy, so I won't remove them.
Their attacks are weak and you won't even be able to use it's Psyshock
without any Psychic Energy. Honestly I'd replace the Psyduck/Golduck family
with the Seel/Dewgong one. The attack damage is better and you can use the
DCE's with greater freedom. No attacks will be unaccessible either. But if
you really feel you must stick with Psyduck, go ahead. It's not totally bad,
and it DOES get through Mr. Mime's Invisible Wall.

    Todd: Psy!! Psy!! Psyduck is silly, ha ha ha ha!! Can I beat up your
patient if I give him my 2 quarters Dr. Crash?

      I'd really rather you didn't Todd.

    Todd: What if I give him the 2 quarters?


    Todd: (Stomping around) You're Mean!! No touch that Todd! No you can't
do that Todd!! I hate you!!

      You wouldn't behave like a brat for Wiggles would you Todd?

    Todd: How d'you know about Wiggles? Where is he? Gimme Wiggles!!!

      No way, you're being a brat. If you keep it up, my secretary is going
to mail him to Guam.

    Todd: Where?

      Someplace far away from you Todd.

    Todd: I'll be good.

       OK, the Laprases are great. I'd think about adding 1 more.

     Trainerwise, you don't seem to have any direction. You also don't seem
to have any Professor Oaks. That's the first change. Put in 2 Oaks. You'll
thank me. To make room for them, remove the Potions. They're a luxury, more
than a necessity.
      Add 2 Bills and remove the Super Potions. The loss of an Energy is a
stiff price for some minor healing. Bill will be a better addition.

    Todd: Wiggles....*sniff*

     Remove the Energy Search. You're only running 2 types of Pokemon, so
there's no real need for this card. 50% of the time you'll get the Energy
type you want. The other 50% will be something you can use anyway. That's
very good still.
      Get rid of that one lonely Energy Removal too. One of this card is
just not enough to make it even worth playing in a deck. There's better
stuff you can have...
      Like Gusts of Wind. You should have 2 in this deck to control any
Electabuzzes or Magmars that come your way.
      The Energy Retrieval while being lonely, is still a good card to have
since DCE is so easy to get rid of. Energy Retrieval can't get that DCE
back, since it's not a Basic Energy, but it will help recover none the less.
      Everything else is cool for now.

   Todd: I want Wiggles back, can't I have him Dr. Crash.

       Why should I give him to you? You've been a pain in the neck.

   Todd: But Wiggles is my friend. I'll be your best friend, just gimme
Wiggles back.

       Do you promise to be a good boy?

    Todd: Uh huh.

       Promise not to bite anyone?

    Todd: Yes...

       Ok. If you pull out that desk drawer, you'll find him.

    Todd: Wiggles!!! (Spins around and around, continuously, clutching the
bear, until he hits his head against the wall.)

      He'll be taking a nap for some time. This is the perfect chance to
look at your Energy. 29 is rather excessive, especially for Pokemon with
lower cost requirements for attacking like Lapras and Scyther. If you cut 5
Energy, 3 Grass and 2 Water, you'll have some room for more Trainers, which
you will definitely need. You should have 4 Double Colorless Energies, 8
Grass Energy and 9 Water Energy.

      For the new Trainers, add 1 more Gust of Wind and one more Energy
Retrieval. 2 Mr. Fujis and an Item Finder will round out your Trainers

        Aww look at him, sound asleep from a concussion, clutching that
bear. It's like some dark Hallmark card...Well here's your deck revision.

          3 Lapras
          3 Psyduck (or Seel)
          2 Golduck (or Dewgong)
          4 Scyther
          3 Grimer
          2 Muk

          2 Professor Oaks
          4 Bills
          2 Mr. Fujis
          3 Gusts of Wind
          2 Switches
          2 Energy Retrievals
          1 Computer Search
          1 Item Finder

          8 Grass Energy
          9 Water Energy
          4 Double Colorless Energy

     This deck is fixed, I pronounce you cured. Water Grass is an odd
mixture no matter how you do it. The Muks will greatly help you out, so
protect them. I think that Potpourri decks will be your biggest threat. The
Electabuzz/Magmar combo is a tough one to overcome. Play smart and you'll
get by OK.

       You can pay my secretary as you leave. I'm gonna just tiptoe out of
here so as not to wake that little devil....

       Ooh, there's a fresh pot of coffee. I'm in the mood for some
kreullers. I should go down to the cafeteria and see what's to eat. Hold my
calls, I'm gonna step out for a...*SHATTER*

       Something just fell in my office, I swear you leave that kid alone
for just one second...

   Todd, what happened? You said you'd be good. Now I come in to find that
my desk lamp is lying on the floor, in pieces. Did you do this?

       Todd: No Dr. Crash

  What did your parents say about lying? Remember? Little kids that lie are
sold into slaves for Jabba the Hutt.

       Todd: I'm NOT lying!

   So who broke my lamp?

       Todd: Wiggles did. He hates you too. He says you should die.

   The bear broke my lamp. Great. Everyone who sees a Child's Play thing
waiting to happen raise your hand.

        Great. I thought as much. I'm gonna go to the cafeteria and I'm not
coming back until your parents come home, you hear me Todd? No, get away
from that electrical socket...Eh. Screw it. Go to town kid. It's not worth
aggravating Wiggles again.

                       Good Luck!!
                    Dr. Crash Landon
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