Something strange has occured. My secretary had a good idea.

     Lately, I've been thinking that my office needed something to brighten
up the mood. But I didn't want just another plant or something. I was
looking for somrthing that people would leave and tell their friends about.
     So my secretary and I sat down and tossed some ideas about. We came up
with putting in a salad bar, a disco ball, a slurpee machine and even a
jacuzzi, but nothing seemed to click. Then my secretary said we really
needed a jukebox.
     So now, my office is the proud home of a 1955 Wurlitzer bubble light
jukebox, modified to house CD's. The only catch was that neither I or my
secretary could agree with what albums to put inside. I figured that since I
paid for it, the choie was mine. She insisted that her taste in music was
better and that it WAS her idea in the first place. So we compromised.
     Now it contains 50% music of my choosing, and the other half my
secretay picked out. I must admit our differing likes make for a really odd
listening experience, not that I ever get to hear any of my selections.
Whenever one of my songs come on, say the Police, she gets up, flips the
reset power switch and chooses one of her songs instead.

     I can only listen to "Nookie" so many times before I strangle

    Let's go into my office where the noise is diminished somewhat.

>Dear Crash's secretary,
> I was told to send this email to you
>I was trying to make a solid fire deck and found there
>arenít that many good cards to work with.  I finally
>came up with a fire, electric, colorless deck.  It is
>a raindance killer/haymaker. Here is
>Shockiní Swords! Itís a Fire
>4 Vulpix- Can Confuse, Needed for 9Tails
>3 Ninetales- Just awesome. Beatdown. Bring out easy
>kills with lure
>3 Magmar(F)- Stall, haymaker(Do I need it?)
>3 Electabuzz- Haymaker
>3 Scyther- Haymaker
>4 Bill- Itís Bill!
>3 Professor Oak- Itís Oak
>3 CPU Search- Search for any card
>2 Pokemon Traders-Get Ninetales
>2 Energy Retrieval-For 9Tails
>2 GOW-If you donít have 9Tails out
>3 Pluspower- Extra Damage
>13 Fire
>8 Electric
>4 DCE
>The point of this deck is to play beatdown.  Use
>magmar to stall, or Electabuzz/Scyther to kill weak
>basics.  While doing this, build up a ninetails.  Then
>bring out ninetails and wreak havoc.  He can kill all
>haymaker pokemon.  Could you tell me what I should
>improve and if it will be a tourney contender. Thanx!

    I like Ninetales. I like them a lot. In all honesty, I must say that
Ninetales is the best evolution currently available for Fire players.
(Magmars don't count, since they don't evolve.) You ARE right though. There
aren't many good Fire Pokemon to choose from. Aside from the Magmars and
Ninetales, Rapidash is the only other decent one to speak of. (Of course
this means I'll get plenty of hate mail, containing many misspelled words,
from angry 10 year olds telling me that Charizard could kick my ass and I
should shut up. To those people, I say :P) Ninetales is possibly one of the
most underrated evolutions out there. It's Lure ability certainly gives you
the ability to manipulate things nicely, and that's probably the best reason
to use it.

   I cannot complain much about the Pokemon in general. They're all fine
choices, in good ratios. You do seem to be a bit Fire heavy. This could pose
a problem if you face a Raindance deck, but the Electabuzzes are nice cover
for that possibility. Of course the flip side is that Scyther, easily the
most popular and frequently played card right now, is a sitting duck for
Magmar and Ninetales. Grass fans may think twice before shoving that Scyther
out to face you, which is good news.

   What I would do, were I you, is alter my strategy to allow Ninetales's
Lure to maximize its efficiency for you. The best way to do this is through
Energy Removal. Most Haymakers use removal as a backup strategy, and your
deck isn't that far off from a Haymaker, so it would behoove you to do this.

  But we've gotta can something to make room...Wait..listen. What's this
song? Is it, YES, it's REM! How'd that slip by my secretary? Maybe I should
check on her. Be right back...

  Funny she's gone. Well no wonder a song I like is playing. Well let's
enjoy this. It won't happen again for a while, I'm sure.

   Now your trainers...Hey, where'd my song go? What's this? Grr...

   Hey I was listening to that!! You weren't even here. oh, the mailroom,
yeah I suppose you have reason to go there. But you still don't have to
change my song in the middle IS this?? The Cure? Well at least
I've heard of them. But if this office becomes a hanging grounds for a bunch
of surly, miserable leather clad teenagers with multiple body piercings and
a general disdain of anything reeking of normalcy, I'll kill you.
   Just let the songs play through. Is that so much to ask. If I catch you
resetting the power once more, I'll have the thing moved to my apartment.
Understood? Good.

    Never hire someone simply because you owe their brother a large favor,
remember that.

    OK, as I was saying, the Trainers are good, but we need to make room for
4 Super Energy Removals.
     I'd remove 1 Professor Oak. Two is plenty, any more and you're just
asking to deck yourself.
     The same philosophy applies to Computer Search. Especially if you're
searching for take one out.

    The Gusts, Energy Retrievals and Pokemon Traders are all fine. Leave
them be.
     Plus Power is one of those cards that I'd love to include in every deck
if only I could find the space where I didn't need anything more useful. In
a typical Haymaker, I could understand a bunch of PlusPowers, but this is a
more strategy oriented deck. Remove them to free up the space for the last 2
     Using the last spot opened by the PlusPowers, add 1 Item Finder. It's
just one of those very good cards that comes in handy nearly every time you
draw it.

     Your Energy situation is good for the most part. I'd replace one Double
Colorless Energy with a Fire Energy though, just to ensure that NineTales
has enough. Ninetales's energy requirement makes it so that you'd want to
load it full of four Fire Energys instead of two and one DCE. Lure may
require Colorless, but to follow up with Fire Blast, you really want all
Fire Energy instead. Besides this one minor shift, you're good to go.

       Here's the revision, and I wish that one of my songs would hit the
playlist soon. It seems like the last 3 have all been of the screechy guitar
- violent, incoherent lyric type of song. Anymore and I'll scream...

        4 Vulpixes
        3 Ninetales
        3 Fossil Magmars
        3 Scythers
        3 Electabuzzes

        4 Bills
        2 Professor Oaks
        2 Computer Searches
        4 Super Energy Removals
        2 Energy Retrievals
        2 Gusts of Wind
        2 Pokemon Traders
        1 Item Finder

        14 Fire Energy
        8 Electric Energy
        3 Double Colorless Energy

     Hey, your deck is fixed. I pronounce you cured. This is now a very
solid deck. I would think that in a tournament it would stand a serious shot
of winning, or placing in the very least. Only Raindance or a good Potpourri
with Lapras will harm you seriously. Scyther users will be in for a shock
however, and this is a great answer for the growing number of Speedrill
decks. Ninetales's Fire Blast can do enough damage to shut down all but the
toughest enemies. Beware of any Energy Removals coming at you though.
They'll go straight at Ninetales.

     You can pay my secretary as you leave. I'm gonna choose a better song
on this jukebox and maybe go get a danish from the are
all these CD's laying on the desk like this? Crash Test Dummies, Billy Joel,
John Cougar Mellencamp..HEY! These are MY CD'S! You took them out of the this why it's been playing these awful songs nonstop now? Yes,
I'm glad that you've left the reset switch alone. But this wasn't the
solution I had in mind..

     Oh you left my Elvis Costello in because you like him, hmmm?

    How friggin' considerate of you....

                          Good Luck!!
                       Dr. Crash Landon
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