The suspense is killing me. For the past three weeks, I've had to listen to
my jealous secretary complain about how I'm the only one around here with
any Pokemon. I tried explaining about how raising Pokemon takes time,
commitment, care and a bit of luck, none of which I felt she was capable of
providing. If it weren't for the snippets of fabric torn from my overcoat
and sweaters as I walk by, I would expect the Venus Flytraps to starve. Her
obsession over getting a critter to call her own has caused her to overlook
most of the regular duties of her job here.
Well, after viewing the humongous stack of unforwarded bills and uncashed
checks sitting in the filing cabinet, I decided, for the sake of this whole
establishment, that she could have a Pokemon.
It's been three days since she ordered her Pokester, and she's refusing to
let me know what she chose. I have to wait and see like everyone else, I'm
The package should arrive this afternoon, so let's fix your eck while we
await this arrrival. Just step into my office and we shall let the healing
process begin. (I still think I should be told, I'm paying for it after
>FROM BLADE (yeah, the Blastoise guy..)
>I made this deck up, due to two major reasons.
>1) I needed a good summer deck for all those tournaments, and
>2) Aside from teaching my Blastoise to fart to the tune of "Weird Al"
>Yankovic's "Albuquerque", I had nothing to do.
>Therefore, I came up with a deck idea after watching "Star Wars: Episode
>1" over 20 times.
>Mewtwo, my "Jedi Knight" was a first choice. The movie one, of course.
>The ability to wipe out a Hitmonchan on turn two was priceless, so I put
>Mr. Mime reminded me of Yoda, and Invisible Wall was rather nice, so in
>The Scythers were priceless in case of psy-resistance, and Electabuzz,
>well, Bye-bye Raindance, so in went two Scyther and Four Electabuzz.
>And Fossil Haunter and Gastly. How could I possibly not include them in
>a "Star Wars" like deck? Trying to do in Haunter is like trying to kill
>a Jedi. Often it's impossible, and other times, it's extremely
>A jedi is never wasteful, so in went two Nightly Garbage Runs. Very
>useful for a last-minute stall, and much more efficient than energy
>Jedi also have the annoying ability to heal themselves suddenly, and
>then use the force to disable opponents.
>To improvise, I put in Three Scoop-up and three SER. Jedi also can
>strike without warning, so in went 3 GOW.
> Jedi knights are unafraid of any danger, and will challenge any threat
>made to peace. So, as a substitute for Bill, I put in two Challenge!
>cards. Very efficient in either giving me card drawing or bench filling.
>And simply for versitality, I put in 2 Oak.
>Here's a list of my deck's contents.
>2 Mr. Mime
> 10 Electric
> 14 Psychic
> 3 DCE
>3 Scoop Up
>2 Nightly Garbage Run
>All in all. I have this to say in summary:
>1) This is not a dumb deck. It must be played smart to win.
>2) In almost all situations (except Fighting Pokemon and Chansey),
>Electabuzz will start the show.
>3) There is a reason for all the switches and low retreat-cost pokes:
>You must retreat with this deck to win.
>4) Energy seems a bit low. I'm thinking of removing Haunter and leaving
Yeah I remember you and your Blastoise. The remodelers were here for a
week fixing those holes. Say, whatever did you do with that bent up lamp I
gave you? Your Blastoise should know better than to toy with electrical
This is one of the best theme decks I've received. I'm not in the
practice of posting theme decks, simply because they are usually too obscure
or they have no potential. I got a "Highlander" themed deck once, bearing
the phrase "There can be only one." It had about one of every card you could
find. This is not a good strategy to say the least.
And if your Blastoise starts belting out "Albequerque" in anything even
coming CLOSE to the brown note, I'm kicking you both out.
The obvious drawback to theme decks is that they often forsake
playability for coolness, which is just fine in fun matches. But if you
really want to impress anyone, the theme deck should be capable of handing a
beating to almost anyone.
I love the Star Wars theme by the way. It's pretty cool and at least
thought out through most of the deck. But the movie tie-ins are hampering
the playability of the deck a bit.
This seems to closest resemble a Potpourri deck. With this play mechanic
in mind, the Gastly and Haunter don't really seem to fit. I know Haunter's
Transparency fits the Jedi bill well, but he's just taking up space.
I would add a third Movie Promo Mewtwo if you can. He is a good all
around Pokemon and works nicely with the Switches for reusing Energy and
putting it back into the deck with a Fuji or something.
A third Scyther is also reccommended. The ability to use any color of
Energy to attack is much akin to a Jedi's ability to adapt to his
surroundings and use them to his advantage. The Swords Dance is much like
the Control power Jedis posess as well.
Finally, I'd add a few Chanseys to this deck. The Resistance to Psychic
powers is just like the trained Jedi mind, focused and impervious to the
influence of others. That Double-Edge power of Chansey is it's most
underrated weapon. 80 damage will clear out most Stage 1's and 2's no
problem. What about the 80 damage Chansey takes? Think of it as a "Noble
Sacrifice", just like Obi-Wan Kenobi's.
Say, there's some commotion outside. I'd best take a look out my
window to the street below. Say, looks like the UPS guy is here on schedule.
That's a first. He's pulling a crate out of the back of the truck...uh oh.
It's a big one. It has airholes too. This must be the Pokemon my secretary
ordered. Well it'll take a while to get that thing onto the levator and into
my office, so we can continue with the deck.
"I will train the boy." Yes, Trainers are important, and I see a few
points your instructor must have left out.
Primarily, you're missing Bills. It doesn't matter if Challenge!
sometimes acts as a Bill. Card drawing, as much of it as you can get, is
important to winning any game. You need 4 Bills, there's no excuse. Just go
ahead and add them to the mix. We don't need to remove anything yet.
There is also a noticeable dearth of Computer Searches and Item Finders
here. Put in 2 Computer Searches and 1 Item Finder to give yourself some
breathing room if you get into a bad corner.
The rest of the Trainers are fine. Personally, I'd go with Mr. Fuji's
instead of Scoop Ups since there is such a reliance upon retreating and
since you have 3 Switches. With Fuji, you can benefit from Mewtwo's Energy
Absorption power by stockpiling the energy and slamming it all back into the
deck. But Scoop Up is just as nice since it acts as a Switch and fully heals
at the same time.
As for all that Energy you had, this isn't that slow of a deck. Mr.
Mime and Chansey can stall, but I wouldn't recommend doing that unless it is
absolutely necessary. Electabuzz, Scyther and Mewtwo can put on quite a
show. Since this deck is actually pretty speedy, 20 Energy will work well.
Nothing in here requires a huge investment of Energy like a Blastoise or a
4 Double Colorless Energy for Chansey and Scyther is a must. 10 Psychic
Energy and 6 Electric Energy will fill out the rest of your requirements.
Trust me. 20 Energy works nicely in decks like this. It's still one third of
your deck. You have a one in 3 chance of drawing an Energy.
So here is The Lightsaber in it's renewed glory. Let's make this quick.
My secretary's package should be coming up any moment. And tell your
Blastoise not to chew on the ottoman. Unless you want a slightly difigured
ottoman as a souvenir this time around...
3 Movie Promo Mewtwos
2 Mr. Mimes
2 Professor Oaks
3 Mr. Fuji's
3 Gusts of wind
2 Nightly Garbage Runs
3 Super Energy Removals
2 Computer Searches
1 Item Finder
10 Psychic Energy
6 Electric Energy
4 Double Colorless Energy
And voila! You can just hear those Midi-Chlorians hum! Remember, hit
fast, run away. This will do you well in this deck. You should be able to
compete with most decks. Dark Muk decks could be sticky (pun intended), but
they are weak to Mewtwo. Just beware the heavy Energy Removal in that deck
type. You can pay my secretary as you leave, but she probably won't care.
The delivery man just rolled in the box. Maybe I'll go see what she ordered,
sucker and fool that I am.
Phew!! What reeks?? No, I'm not gonna just stand here with my sweater
pulled over my nose. I guess I'll give you a hand jimmying open this crate.
Why was that deliveryman in such a rush to escape?
Ok, here we go...*CREAK!!*
You ordered a Vileplume??
I don't care if it's cute and has a nifty flower head. It smells
horrible. This thing will drive patients away by the score.
(Looking sad) "pluuuuume....."
Aww.....lookit him all sad like that. How adorable,..er, I mean how
intolerable. Is there a way for him to switch that stink off somehow?
Well look into it.
If you feed him daily and treat him well, you can keep him. I just
don't want my patients becomeing nauseated or leaving here confused for any
reason other than something I said.
Well it looks like there will be a Vileplume hanging around the office
as well as a dishonest Hypno, two voracious Flytraps, several skittish fish,
a mouse who shows up time to time and the occasional Beedrill that flies
through an open window.
I can't wait to see what personality this Vileplume develops. On second
thought, since my secretary is training it, I think I can wait a long time.
A real long time.
Dr. Crash Landon
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