Hello there. I must apologize for all the styrofoam peanuts and cardboard
bits strwen about the floor. My secretary is begrudgingly picking them up. I
feel bad for her having to do it too, since she swears it's not her mess and
I'm actually inclined to believe her.
Normally I explain why things are out of sorts, but today, I can't. I have
no idea why there were eight or nine boxes laying about when I arrived. I
was 2 hours late due to engine trouble and my secretary took the morning off
to go to the dentist. (Not that quack Finkelbaum nextdoor, either.)
After discovering the boxes, I began to notice several new additions to
the office, such as a gumball machine by the sofa and a slot machine next to
the cappucino maker in the kitchen area. Come to think of it, I never had a
cappucino maker either. What's going on here? Am I being reverse
burglarized? Are thieves bringing me stuff? What sinsister force is behind
Actually I don't care. I LIKE cappucino.
Well anyhow, it's my problem, not yours. Step into my office. It's right
over there by the new, large, glowing, neon "The Doctor Is In" sign on the
wall. Boy, thieves have no sense of decorum, do they? Tacky, tacky, tacky.
Hey Crash this is my red lightning deck it has been very sucessful at
> > tournaments
>17 Fire Energy
>Electabuzz x2(1 movie)
>8 Electric Energy
>Gust Of Wind
>I am gonna try and get 3 mimes and put em in as a wall with no energy
>here is my strategy i use my electrics likitung chansey and ponyta rapidash
>early while i power up my remaining fire pokemon and burn the competition
>first this was a fire only deck and since the most popular deks in my area
>mainly water i put electrics in and am the only unbeaten person in my area
>i started using this deck (here is one really cool attack power up a
>and then lass to get rid of all your opponents trainers switch especially
>lure out a:) a pokemon with little or no energy b:) since u see there hand
>u lass a pokemon which he/she has no energy for then fire blast away!)i
>that my main problem is trainers and i know u will reccomend some fossil
>rockets but i have only bought 2 rockets and am not planning on using a
>edition mew or my other rockets and fossil is just out in scotland and they
> Thanks For Reading(u r the
>funniest& best mechanic)
All the way from Scotland, aye? I dont get many kilted patients, that's
for sure. Thanks for the compliments too.
Fire and Electric should be fast. Speed will be your biggest ally in
battle. There is substantial power there too, but speed is foremost. To
achieve the highest speed possible, without Rocket cards mind you, I'm going
to have to remove a bunch of the Pokemon. If we stick with a group of 15
Pokemon or so, your deck will run a lot faster and will not need to worry
about evolving everything on the board.
The best available creature for Fire is Ninetales. Lure rules and
Fireblast will scorch almost anything out there. Annoying Scythers and
Vileplumes will crumble to charred carbon lumps before Ninetales.
Unfortunately, in order to get Ninetales, you have to deal with the lousy
Vulpix card. They really should have given Vulpix a better card. Most
players, especially Spike, will agree. If you have 3 Vulpices and 2
Ninetales, your deck will be able to handle middle game challenges very
well. But you'll need some early fire.
For quick Fire, no Pokemon foots the bill better than the Fossil Magmar.
Quick, low cost attacks, nice status problems like Poison and smokescreen
effect and hefty HP make the new Magmar a sweet deal. 3 of these should
serve you very nicely.
The other Fire Pokemon you had are ok in a mono-fire deck, but since this
is a dual type deck, you can only include a couple and they have to be the
best, which is, of course, Ninetales and Magmar.
You don't want to overload on Fire types. A good Lapras or Articuno
will wipe you out if you go that way. Now we need to put in some
Electabuzz! Raindance fears it! Other types are very cautious around it
too, and there's good reason why. As the best Pokemon in the game,
Electabuzz hits fast, hard, has nice HP and causes more fun status effects!
What's to dislike? Naturally, you'll want 4 of them in this deck.
As for the other Electric Pokemon, there aren't really any shining
stars. The Promo Pikachu is ok, but is best suited for an all Electric
onslaught. Zapdos requires too much Energy to be useful here. The Base Set
Electrode is decent and has a highly underrated power, but we've already got
an Evolution and you shouldn't add another because it will slow you right
down. So this means it's on to other choices.
Lots of Colorless Pokemon are weak to Fighting, just like Electabuzz.
This isn't so great if a Hitmonchan or Hitmonlee come at you. Sometimes you
gotta fight Fire with Fire, Water with Water, Psychic with Psychic and so
on. Ditto does that and more. In metagaming terms, Ditto is a great counter
to any problem Pokemon your opponent hits you with, like a Promo Mewtwo or
an Articuno. Trade blows with the Hitmonchan or have fun swapping damage
with your own alakazam. The fun goes on and on. With 3 Dittos in here,
you're in for lots of fun too.
Hmmm, it seems to be getting dark outside. Must want to thunderstorm.
I'd best turn on--? My brass lamp? Where is it? Who took my lamp out of here
and replaced it with this stained glass Tiffany? I don't even like Tiffany
lamps. This is getting out of hand. Maybe my secretary ordered a bunch of
stuff and immediately forgot once the three brain cells in her head took on
new information. I'll have to go over the spending records later. This
sucks, I want my old lamp.
I guess any lamp is better than no lamp, but not much. Let us examine your
Trainer situation in this odd, multicolored glow.
You've definitely got too few Trainers in there. As a rule, if you only
want to include one of a Trainer, then it's probably not something you
should be adding. The good Trainers are the ones you wish you could include
I see you had just one Professor Oak and no Bills. How can you expect to
get more cards when you need them. Too often one card a turn is not enough.
If it's just an Energy when you need a Gust of Wind, what is the point?
That's why it's so important to have card drawing power like Bill and
Professor Oak. You get more of what you need, quicker and with no drawback.
Since I've added mostly Basic Pokemon to this deck, it woudn't hurt to
have a backup plan should one get smacked around too much. Scoop Up is ideal
for those situations. When your Buzz is in pain, Scoop him back to your
hand, deny your opponent a prize, put out a fresh fighter in its place and
put Buzz back on the bench. Great trick.
I said this deck would be fast, and so far it is. But to increase your
damage potetial, 4 PlusPowers is exactly what you need. Buzz becomes
Buzzier, NineTales becomes more like TenTales, Magmar
becomes...uhhh....Magnanimous? Whatever. Anyway, PlusPower is nice for when
your opponent calculates that he's got a couple turns before you kill his
critter. Slap down the PlusPower and prove him wrong.
It's almost a given that you're going to run into some Energy Removal.
It's too good a tactic. Since everyone else has it, there is absolutely no
reason you can't too. Besides, in this deck it makes sense. You increase
your speed by reducing the opponent's. Good, moving on...
Computer Search. There is just one good thing about this card. You get
what you want. I will say it again for the mentally challenged. You GET what
you WANT. At the price of two cards which aren't helping you worth squat,
it's an excellent card to have around, even better in pairs.
Since Ninetales can perfom the same thing, I'm only going to toss in a
couple Gusts of Wind, but don't rely on the Ninetales. Gust is such an
awesome card that it's almost a free prize. Gust of Wind? No....Gust of Win.
Finally, the strategy you mentioned earlier: Lass. This deck is all
about Speed and Power, which means you can get by for a turn or so without
Trainers. Some decks can't, especially Raindance. Lassing your opponent and
then Luring out his weakest link with Ninetales is the way to go.
A word about Lass: I think it is quickly becoming overplayed. Some decks
which have no business using Lass have them in there anyhow just incase they
meet up with a Raindance deck or a Wigglytuff or whatever. Heck, I've even
seen Raindance decks with Lass before. It's a great card I'll concede. But
when you see it in almost every deck, one has to wonder if people are
playing it because it helps their deck or simply because they want to be the
first to Lass and thereby stop the opponent from using hers first. If your
deck is fast and reqires minimal Trainer support, then Lass is a great thing
to have. If you rely upon a combo, however, Lass is simply not the best
thing to hold. If you've got a combo deck and feel you MUST be prepared, try
Rocket Sneak Attack. It's cut out more for complex decks and won't be so
detrimental to your strategy. I'm done ranting, back to the fix.
Ok, Laddy, Now that we've summed up the Trainers, it's time for the
all-important Energy. With 21 spots left for Energy, this will be just
First, the obligatory 4 Double Colorless Energy for the Dittos. Don't
use them for Ninetale's Lure since Fire Blast requires 4 Fire Energy.
11 Fire energy. Ninetales has a hefty requirement, so you';; need lots
6 Electric Energy - Mostly for Buzz, but Ditto can use it too.
Ok, I'm going to write down the new, final decklist here whilst I call
the bank on what seems to be my new Garfield telephone. It's like the
Sharper Image ans spencer's had a convention in my office overnight and
forgot to clean up.
3 Fossil Magmars
2 Professor Oaks
2 Computer Searches
4 Super Energy Removals
3 Scoop Ups
2 Gusts of Wind
11 Fire Energy
6 Electric Energy
4 Double Colorless Energy.
There you are, Red Lightning, version 2.0. This will be more than fast
enough to handle most decks. Raindance will hurt your Fire Pokes, but the
Buzzes will handle the Blastoises for sure. Scyther is no match and Ditto
crushes Psychic types, amongst most else. Come out swinging and you'll be
fine. Let the big Basics do their stuff early on and if necessary, Ninetales
can bat cleanup. (You do know baseball terms in Scotland, don't you?)
Please pay my secretary on the way out. She'll more than likely be glad
to handle the transaction since it sure beats picking up styrofoam peanuts.
I'm gonna call the bank now and see if they can shed some light..hey the
phone's busy. Someone is on the internet.
Are you online out there? Quit surfing for nude pictures of Matt Damon
and take care of the patient. Huh, your computer's not on? If not yours,
then who? The only other computer here is in my personal offfice. Hang on...
OK, what's going on in here? What in the bloody...? HYPNO!!! What is
this?? Sharper Image online?? You were ordering all this junk, weren't you?
How? Did you steal Dr. Finkelbaum's credit cards again? We went through this
once before when you took his Visa and ordered 12 limousines to the
Mcdonald's 2 blocks over.
That was good.
Hypno! No, no Hypno!
YOUR credit card? Who would give a Pokemon a credit card?
American Express? They just called here 2 weeks ago and you answered?
And they gave you a card? That's ridiculous. How do you expect to pay them
Hyp hypno? HYPNO??!
Yeah you've gotta pay them back! This stuff isn't free. You buy it now
and then you pay later. That's how credit works. You can't afford a
cappucino maker! Do you have any idea how you're going to pay them back?
Sigh..No I DON'T want to buy a gumball thank you.
Dr. Crash Landon
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