Vulpix vulpix!

This is everybodyıs favorite fiery fox writing to you from California. I donıt know why I suddenly feel like writing my column. Maybe itıs the air... Iım too close to the ocean or something. Also, I was actually able to get some computer time for a change-- Spike doesnıt have mIRC or ICQ here, and there were no intelligent people on AIM for him to talk to. (Well, not for any length of time...)

Anyway. Letıs see what my adoring public has to say:

>I hate to say it but its fun reading the bad decks you post.
>I havent seen the on where you and Vulpix were cursed out though.

First of all, I AM Vulpix. Thereıs no ³Vulpix and Vulpix² (unless my cousin is visiting.) If this was addressed to Spike, it should have gone to HIS address (duh). Donıt think I donıt appreciate the letter--I do! Thanks!

>wasup vulpix. Just woundering, what would happen if a cloyster clamped
>onto a shellders tail?
>Thanx for your time

Um... Shellder has a tail?

>Hi you little six-nine tailed friend! You are awsome! I was just wondering how do you drink? Do you drink like a >normal pet or do you have to drink on a spesial way because of you extreme allergy to water and other drinks? >Thanks for your time!

Hmm. Well, explaining my relationship with water and other liquids (in which situations I can tolerate them and which not) is complicated. Obviously full-body immersion is a no-no (and something I donıt really like to talk about) but I do have to drink, the same as any mammal. Again, itıs complicated. If youıre in the mood for a lecture on the physiology of Fire pokemon, I can sit you down for a couple hours and explain it to you.

>Why do i constantly see the same decks posted at Different garages?
>Have you seen jiggly champ? Or the Green machine? I Just get sick seeing the
>same ones when nobody will correct my decks.
>p.s.: Mr. Mime is the coolest pokemon!

No, I havenıt seen either of those. Spike tries to weed out duplicates, but itıs tough. It would be nice if everybody would just SEND THEIR DECK TO ONLY ONE MECHANIC (or at least wait a decent interval, say at least a month, between mechs.)

P.S. No, heıs not. And you should know better than to send me a letter with that statement.

>in my opinon they should make a promo vulpix with a
>flamthrower attack(like "  1 fire. discard 1fire energy 30)
>with 60 hp and have a cute picture like that  god has never

Hmm, I like that, especially the cute picture part. But itıll never be printed. Why? Among other things, itıs BROKEN! 60 HP, with a guaranteed 30 for 1? The thought of it makes my fur stand on end. ³But it has a drawback!² Yeah? So does Masticore.

>Hello Vulpix!
>         <Adam>I used to be a big fan of satoshi,  but I like the
>                way you and spike fix decks better.  I
>             have a jolteon. 
>                <jolteon>  Hello!
>            <Adam>  I was
>                 just wondering where where spike got your food!
>                The store I went to went out of business.  Your so
>                CUTE  too!!!!!!!   I can't stand
>     it!!!!!
>      <jolteon>HEY!
>     <Adam> You are cute too Jolteon!
>                See ya Vulpix!

Thanks for the fanmail. Jolteons are cute. I hope you donıt stop going to Satoshiıs place, though. Nobody says you have to swear loyalty to one Deck Mechanic. =)

>Dear Vulpix and Spike,
>You must help me! I am a Mewtwo trapped inside a human's body! I'm
>stuck in, and there is no way out! Help me so I can take over the world! Oh,
>and get rid of that pesky pink ball of trash Lew, New, Mew, whatever!
>Put me in a deck, and when somebody plays me, I can escape from the card!!
>(Vincent Price-type laugh) HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Hmm. Mewtwo trapped inside a human body, you say? You may want to talk to Spike; he has some experience with this sort of thing. Me, Iım going to smile, nod, and back slowly towards the door.

>Okay, I have a lot of things I want to say.  For one, I wanted to
>ask about a  piece of information that's completely useless for me to know,
>but I was wondering how many tails you have.  I know that the picture in the
>base WoTC card has seven, but the card says that all Vulpix start out with
>one tail which splits into more, so I just wondered how many you had. 
>    Now, speaking of the WoTC Vulpix card, I've figured out why it is
>so pathetic compared to you.  We all know that the Ninetales card is
>lethal, and I think that they made a horrible Vulpix to stop Ninetales from >being too powerful.
>    I was also wondering about the inactive deck mechanic part of the
>dock mechanic site.  Have the mechanics there quit?  Been fired?  Are they
>just not getting mail?  I would be particularly interested in learning about
>Z's Zoo, because it appeared there shortly after Z bashed my Working
>Rainbow Deck.(It actually stinks a bit, but he only bashed what I explained.)
>    By the way, I think that you're one of the cutest pokemon, and the
>only well known pokemon that some people might argue is cuter than you is
>pikachu, and well, the most famous pikachu listens to Ash.

First of all, I personally have six tails. I think thatıs quite enough, thank you very much.

Secondly, about making a bad Vulpix card to keep Ninetales down... Blaineıs Ninetales is also deadly, so whatıs your point?

Thirdly,  Z left because of ³creative differences.² I wouldnıt hold my breath waiting for him to come back. Sorry, but itıs just the way life is sometimes.

And fourth, Pikachu cuter than me? Laugh!

Finally, a question Iıd like your input on. Since just reeling off letters becomes tiresome after a while, Iıve been thinking of doing something different. I was thinking a Jerry Springer-style talk show, but Spike vetoed that idea. He has something of a personal grudge against that show (please donıt ask.) So my next idea was sort of an advice column. You know, ³Dear Vulpix.² What do you people think of that? Let me know!




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