Hello. My secretary has informed me that this next patient,
whom some may remember, especially those who've noted the
funky odor which persists in the bathroom to this day thanks to a
certain bloated Pokemon of his, has created a deck conaining a
theme I cannot resist.

    It's been said before and I'll say it again. We here in my office
love theme decks. They're original, funny and playing one is
sometimes the most legal fun you can have while still wearing
clothes.
    Having said this, I may now say something else. Do NOT submit
decks with the same theme as any you see posted here in my
office. I consider this shameless copycatting and will immediatley
pitch your deck into the circular file. So if you read a deck whose
theme is "Pee Wee's Playhouse", don't send me another Pee Wee
deck. It's fun once. The second time it's sort of boring.

    Well, anyway, I hear him fighting his way down the hallway
outside my office. Some people never learn to just leave their
Pokemon at home. Maybe a couple badges would fix his problems.
I just hope he didn't feed it any salmon burritos this time.

    Ah there you are. You're absolutely soaked. Maybe you should
invest some time in an Arcanine or a Magmar to dry off after your
wrestling matches with that Blastoise. Well I'm curious to see what
sort of deck you have that is so unique that I absolutely must see it.

    Step into my office...not you Blastoise. My carpeting is dry
clean only. All right let's see this deck now.




"Gah! I barely made it to the office on time. Ever try teaching a
Blastoise to combine Hydro Pump with Ice Beam and Blizzard? It ain't
pretty.


Due to my folly, my next door neighbors' dogs are prematurely
cryogenically frozen, along with Mr. Chuckles, the Hyena they adopted.

On second thought, maybe that wasn't such a bad idea after all..

But enough of that. On with the deck!

Weird Al's Deck! Contents:
2 Slooch (Just Joking.)
3 Jigglypuff (Wonderful Singing voice: Perfect for Weird Al!)
2 Wigglytuff ( Yeesh. As big as he is, he needs a "Grapefruit Diet".)
2 Scyther (Running with Scissors!)
3 Promo Mewtwo (He's Psychic, so he can tell you your "Horoscope for
Today.". Also Makes opponents look like Eddie Veder when he's fully
charged. I consider him a Jedi knight.)
4 Electabuzz (Weird Al's personal shock therapists. I also substitute a
TR's Zapdos for an Electabuzz when I play at certain stores.)
14 (Not 16. The Slooch was a joke.)

2 Challenge (I challenge you to a farting contest!.. Just j/k.)
3 SER (Makes the opponent REALLY angry, like Starving Crazed Weasels!)
3 Scoop Up (Just for versitality.)
2 NGR (Kinda like what I have to do when I accidently throw away that
lamp you gave me. Blastoise thinks it's a chew toy, and yes, he does get
electrocuted every 5 Minutes.)
2 Goop Gas Attack (Explosive Flatulence. Nuff said.)
2 Computer Search (It's all about the Pentiums, Baby!)
2 Professor Oak (Looks like my Psychiatrist when I show up, except the
eyebrows start twitching for some reason.)
3 Pluspower (More fighting power than the cast of Sailor Moon versus the
cast of Pokemon on Jerry Springer :) .)
3 GOW ( Kinda like getting your tongue froze to the back of a speeding
bus.)
2 Switch ( For some odd reason, when I use this trainer to brung out a
heavy hitter, I get a picture of an insurance salesman slapping their
active pokemon with a bloated Sea Bass.)
24

8 Electric Energy
10 Psychic Energy
4 DCE
22


The funny descriptions and smart-aleck remarks aside, this deck may be
a bit unoriginal, but efficient nonetheless.

The strategy is like Tuffstuff, but I also have Pokemon capable holding
the game down even if Wiggly doesn't show up.
I included the pluspowers for the obvious reason: being able to dish out
even more damage when Wiggly is in play. Three shots of 70 damage?
Suddenly, Hitmonchan isn't so menacing.

The Nightly Garbage Run (NGR) gives me a way to recycle Wiggly and
energy so I can attack again and again with Wiggly. Scoop Up is to give
my Pokes a quick rest if they get knocked around too much.

Finally, a new addition: Goop Gas Attack. Since my Pokemon use no
powers, I can use this with no drawback. Mr. Mime, Aerodactly,
Blastoise, Alakazam, Venusaur, Ditto.. they all really hate this card.

This deck was inspired after I came up short in a local tournament,
making only second place due to two things: Strange house rules (DCE
counts as any energy! You take damage if you're confused and fail a
retreat flip!) and the fact that some guy had built a Dark Vileplume
deck with Snorlax, Scyther, Rocket Drowzee, Dark Gloom, and knew how to
use it with devastating efficiency. Ironically, he lost to a TuffStuff
deck.  Therefore...



       Oh cool! Weird Al Yankovic! I love him! No wonder my
secretary gave you top billing today. She knows how much I like
Al's work.
       Strangely enough, I was at an Al concert last week in Buffalo
NY. Really, I'm not even making this up for sake of having
something to write about. I actually did attend. The show was
great, as usual.
       The opening act was decent. Not as lame as the opener from
last year. Lasy time, Weird Al had that dumb Mark Cohen, the
host from Comedy Central's defunct "Make Me Laugh" game show.
 Well if you've ever seen this show, you would have known not to
expect much. And boy, he didn't dissapoint anyone there. This guy
was so bad, he accidentally tried to tell the same joke twice, was
heckled successfully by a nine-year-old in the second row, slipped,
not once, but 4 times on the same dang cable, and for the piece de
resistance, he told a joke whose entire punchline was based upon
making fun of the Buffalo Bills. This is Buffalo. We're sensitive
about how much we come close to victory but only suck that much
harder. I never heard so many Boos in my life. In many ways, it
was the best comedy act I ever saw in terms of unsolicited
audience participation. I guess he was hired to make everyone
REALLY glad when Weird Al came on stage. It worked.
      Well last week the show was good. Usually after a Weird Al
concert, Al gives out autographs. He's very appreciative of his
audiences and does his best to make everyone happy. Well, this
was his 6th show in a row with no days off in between and you
could see by the last song, Yoda, that he was really tired.
       I was shocked when the road crew announced that Al wasn't
going to be signing any autographs, which meant I dug out my vinyl
"In 3-D" album for naught. Apparently, Al was feeling very tired and
was uncharacteristically not up to signing anythignthat evening.
Sensing unrest amongst fans with too much caffiene and nicotene
in their collective bloodstream, the other band members came out
and gave out signatures. I just wanna say that this was really cool
of them to do. Not many other acts would go this extra mile. I
managed to get Steve Jay's, the bassist, autograph. At least I
obtained something for my trouble.
       So that is mostly it for my recent Al escapade. I went hoarse
singing Yoda and The Saga Begins along with the audience. I
bought another tour shirt because, last January, I inadvertantly got
sick all over my old one, a mess even the most skillful of dry
cleaners was unable to remove. My friends and I exchanged a
Jeopardy style volley of questions and answers with another group
of Close Personal Friends of Al outside the amphitheatre for about
25 minutes before we got tired and went home.
     I doubt anyone really cares about my concert experience, but
when you get your own forum, you can talk about whetever you
darn well please. Today we have a Weird Al theme deck and I'm
gonna talk about Weird Al, thank you.

      I should really get to the deck though.

  Aside from all the inane allusions to Al lore and song tidbits, and
a mention of the quasi-legendary "Slooch" which I will grudgingly
disregard, this deck isn't terrible. It's really nothing more than a
Wigglytuff deck with some fancy rationalizing tossed in. Let's start
where I always start.

         Pokemon- If your deck is going to include Wigglytuff as your
cleanup hitter, then you'd better be able to get one out as early as
posible. Running a meager 2 Wigglytuffs and 3 Jigglypuffs will
make it tough to put one out when you need it. Time and practice
has proven that all but the most bizarre (and despite the Weird Al
Yankovic refences, this deck isn't very bizarre. Weird, yes. Bizarre,
no.) decks need to run 4 of both Jigglypuff and Wigglytuff. It's tough
to deal with one. A backup on the bench is even more
disconcerting for the opponent.

         I'd pull out the Electabuzzes. Sweet as Buzz may be, he's
not exactly a stonewall when Fighting is concerned. Coupled with
Wigglytuff's Fighting weakness, a couple Hitmonchans and some
SER's, a very common combo, will take out most of your bench.

 Scyther is good for resisting Hitmonchan. For this reason,
amongst the usual rhetoric, I'd suggest adding a third to increase
the odds of getting one as an opener. By now I hpe everyone
knows why Scyther is such a great card. If not, ask around. I'm
sure some ego-inflated blowhard will be more than glad to let you
know why it's so good and thereby make you really impressed with
his common knowledge of Pokemon. Everyone knows someone
like this, admit it.

      Movie Promo Mewtwo is a good addition to Wigglytuff decks
I've found. Some argue that it's too slow, or that it has too large a
retreat cost to pair up with Wigglytuff. To them, I say "Bah". Promo
Mewtwo hits hard, and can recycle your lost Energy. He's good
later in the game if a match goes that long and works well aside
Wigglytuff in my opinion. Wigglytuff needs some long-term backup
since everyone's gonna focus on destroying the Tuffinator. Promo
Mewtwo fills this need excellently. 3 is a solid amount here.

         Now comes the Trainers.

   I see an overwhelming lack of Bills. I'm not certain that Bill has
any relevance to Weird Al, but it IS integral to Wigglytuff decks.
You need speed to slam your bench out quickly and Bill helps his
well. You must have the full set of 4 if you want this deck to work.
Think of Bill as  the typical drooling fan-boy who waits long hours
after a show for autographs and stuff....hey waitaminnit, I do that.
Never mind.
  You will also need to up your amount of Professor Oaks and
Computer Searches. Both really speed up your bench formation
and are worth including.
   I don't see the need for Switch. Scoop Up is a lot better. You
remove a Pokemon from danger and get to replace it with a fresh
fighter. Later the Scooped Pokemon goes back down on the
bench. It's Switch and a mini Pokemon Center at once. Better than
Switch anyday.
     I also believe you could benefit from Item Finders. I always need
to reclaim a PlusPower or a Professor Oak when playing
Wigglytuff. I've never been sorry for having Item Finders in a deck,
even if I never used it. In the same vein, Wigglytuff seems to benefit
greatly from Nightly Garbage Runs to reclaim lost Jigglypuffs and
Scythers. If only you could get DCE's back....They're pointless on
a Mewtwo unless you need to hastily retreat.
    I like the idea of Goop Gas Attack. Raindance is a bummer,
although it's becoming less common, which I enjoy. DamageSwap
is equally annoying. Since you're not relying upon any Powers, go
for it. I really like Goop Gas Attack when I want to screw around
with an opponent's Ditto. Too bad it's useless against Dark
Vileplume, otherwise I'd rank it higher. A couple Goop Gasses
could potentially give you a surprise advantage. I'll leave them be
as is.
  PlusPower is an important part of the Wigglytuff strategy. With
many Big Basic Pokemon rounding out at an average of 70HP, a
Do the Wave with a Plus Power ot two makes a nice one-hit KO.
Leaving that Hitmonchan around an extra turn to deal the last 10
damage can be crippling to your Wigglytuff. 4 PlusPowers is a
must have.
   Gust of Wind is important to manage the opponent's bench and
protect your own Pokemon. I needn't ramble on about the virtues of
this card; they're pretty obvious. Anyhow, 3 Gusts will be fine.
    Lastly, those Scoop Ups are a very good addition to this deck.
Picking up Scyther and Mewtwo when low on HP is a great
defense. Mewtwo can easily recover and Scyther holds his own
respectfully. I dislike picking up a Wigglytuff usually, but
sometimes ya gotta do that too. I always wind up using Scoop Up
in my Wigglytuff deck, so I'll vouch for it being effective.
   I've removed the SER's. It's not that they're bad, but they have
the potential to be detrimental in a Wigglytuff deck. While they are
excellent for buying time, all your main Pokemon have a flat attack
cost of  3 of whatever they need. Were you using Hitmonchan or
Electabuzz, Super Energy Removal would be okay. Here though,
you may be losing that last Energy needed to attack.
    Challenge! was also removed. At first this was a great card for
Wigglytuff. It still is decent, but it has become immediately
associated with Wigglytuff decks. This is bad. If you play
Challenge, your opponent will instantly know you're packing
Wigglytuff, so, naturally, he's going to let you draw the two cards.
In this capacity, Challenge is nothing more than a Bill. That's not
bad, but I see no point in running a card whose true purpose will
almost never be allowed. Your only chance of getting a full bench
will be when facing another Wiggly deck and that's exactly when
you DON'T want to play Challenge.


     As for the Energy, I can operate on 19 Energy with little
problem typically. Dropping 3 energy will give us some room to add
Trainers where they're needed.
    
      There is of course the obligatory 4 Double Colorless Energys.
     
      10 Psychic Energy will give Mewtwo plenty to work with.

      5 Grass Energy will give you the chance for a first/second turn
Grass Energy/DCE Swords Dance combo for 60 points. This is a
very useful element to have in a Wigglytuff deck since most players
expect Wigglytuff to do most of the dirty work. Not so. Scyther and
Mewtwo are the workhorses. Wiggly should only come in for
cleanup patrol.

      2 Full Heal Energies are a good failsafe since status causing
Pokemon are becoming increasingly used.

            Well, let's see if we can recap this in full Weird Al
terminology.

           4 Jigglypuffs (For when Al wants to seriously get down and
sing)
           4 Wigglytuffs (Do The Wave is just like being at a concert.)
           3 Scythers ( Yes, Running With Scissors)
           3 Movie Promo Mewtwos ( You've gotta be psycho to
dream up some of those parodies.)

           4 Bills (Drooling fan-boys.)
           3 Profesor Oaks (I guess you could label each one as his
band members, one for Steve Jay, one for John "Bermuda"
Schwarz and the last for Jim West.)
           3 Computer Searches (For all those chatroom yackers at
Hewlett Packard)
           4 PlusPowers (Almost identical to Polka Power!)
           3 Nightly Garbage Runs (Trips to the concession stand)
           2 Goop Gas Attacks (The last line from 'Jerry Springer'-
"Come over here and pull on my finger.")
           2 Item Finders - (Kind of like finding a rare Weird Al bootleg
in an MP3 chatroom. Ever heard his parody of the Beatle's
"Taxman"? It's called "Pacman". "It's Still Billy Joel to Me" is
another good one.)
           3 Gusts of Wind (When Al catches a second wind during a
show.)
           3 Scoop Ups (What I tend to do when the new album
comes out.)

           4 Double Colorless Energy (The White Stuff)
           5 Grass Energy (Nature Trail to Hell)
           8 Psychic Energy (It's Your Horoscope for Today)
           2 Full Heal Energies (Germs)


        And there you go. This deck is pronounced cured. I
thoroughly enjoyed this one, obviously. Thanks for the cool theme
and for allowing me to completely freak out everyone who reads
this with my apparent total devotion to Weird Al Yankovic.

         For those of you who believe that I am in serious need of
medical attention, I leave you with this fact: the person with whom I
attended the Weird Al Yankovic concert last week was none other
than my doctor, who condoned my behavior and was, in fact,
rowdier than I was. So pbbbbbbbbblt.

                Good Luck!!
            Dr. Crash Landon