"I'm still here this week, doing the deck fixes, wearing this specially
designed headset to allow you, the viewer, the privelege of understanding
whatever I say.

      Normally, I don't rummage for entertainment. I usually try and predict
lottery numbers and sell them on the street corners. But since I'm in charge
this week, I can't really leave.
      I've been going through some of the books Dr. Crash keeps on his
shelf. Most of them are stuffy old psychiatry handbooks and profiles of
various, high profile, Pokemon players. Did you know that Satoshi enjoys
putting trout in his sheets at night? It's true. Tyler Grund secretly enjoys
pretending he is Celine Dion, performing before tens of thousands of
screaming fans. And Spike has suffered permanent neck damage due to the
extreme weight of all that hair on his head. I kid you not.
       But you don't care about them that much do you? No. I didn't think
so. The real dirt is on Dr. Crash, he he. I came across a whole row of books
which turned out to be yearbooks from kindergarten to 12th grade. There's
tons of stuff in here to use as blackmail.

       Did you know that in the first grade, Dr. Crash was known as
"Telescopes"? He had really bad eyesight, even as a child and the kids made
fun of his thick glasses. You should see this picture; it looks like his
eyes are these tiny little dots behind a pair of bus windwhields.

      In the 4th grade, he once wore the same pair of shoes for so long,
that they finally started to fall apart, day by day, to the wonder and
amazement of his classmates and teachers. When, after having had the shoes,
a year and a half, he got new ones, the class held a funeral for his
sneakers and everyone shared a fond memory of the shoes. There's a picture
of the ceremony right here. He's the one with the thick glasses.

      I've got lots of other dirt to share on him, but I suppose I can fix
this deck too. After all, that's the real reason I'm here. So let's take a

>Dear Doc,
>I was sitting around waiting for a wedding the other
>day when I came up with a theme deck that I figured
>I'd build in honor of you and your office.  Without
>further adieu, I give you Doctor's Office.
>3 Weedle
>2 Beedrill (One of your pokemon)
>3 Oddish (Jungle)
>2 Vileplume (Jungle - In honor of your secretary)
>3 Drowzee (TR)
>2 Hypno (Fossil - And with no Credit Card attack)
>2 Ditto (You seem to like them and I needed 2 more
>      basic pokemon)
>4 Bill (One of your favorites)
>2 Prof Oak (Same as above)
>2 Computer Searches
>3 Super Energy Removal (As annoying as your secretary)
>2 Nightly Garbage Run
>2 Mr. Fuji
>2 Item Finder
>4 Pokemon Breeders (Only way to get the big guns)
>2 Gust of Wind (Just in case)
>4 DCE
>8 Grass
>8 Psychic
>Basic strategy is to get the Diito's out and let them
>run interference until I can evolve the big guns and
>send them out.  Beedrill can get in and do some damage
>while also having the chance to posion, while
>Vileplume can help keep my pokemon alive a little
>longer with it's pokemon power.  Hypno can also be
>used to mess with the oponents bench, as well as to
>screw around with the oponents deck.
>I hope you like this deck in your honor, I just wanted
>to see what you think so I can vamp it up and use it.

    Hypno!! Ooh look, it's me! It's me!!

        Too bad the doctor isn'there to view this. I'm sure he'd be
flattered and a bit miffed that Lapras didn't get into the mix anywhere.
Lapras happens to be his favorite Pokemon. Don't ask me why. I think the
thing should have been hunted to extinction. Stupid Water Pokemon, there's
nothing great about them.
        But since I, Hypno, happen to be doing this fix, I say nice idea! No
Lapras makes it better!

        No really, it is a nice sentiment that you've made a deck in all our
honor. I'll be sure to leave a copy for him.

       On the whole, the deck is pretty good. Sure it'll probably never make
it to a national championship, but hey, games are for fun, am I right?
Sometimes we lose sight of this.

        There's just a few things I'd do to make it better.

      I'd substititute some Team Rocket Oddishes for the Jungle ones. TR
Oddish has better attacks. Yeah they don't damage, but Poison and Confusion
are still powerful and good early game pace breakers.

      Instead of the Super Energy Removals, which aren't really helping your
strategy in any major way, put in 2 more Gusts of Wind and another Fuji.

      Finally, remove 2 of the Psychic Energy and a Grass Energy for some
Full Heal Energies. Vileplume's attack can really hurt, but it also becomes
confused. Full Heal will help recover quicker.

        That's all I'd do to this deck. I like it, because it features me.
If you wanted to have his secretary in there personally, you could try Lass.
If you really wanted to have Dr. Crash himself appear, you're screwed. The
closest card to him is Impostor Professor Oak and I'm not telling you to put
THAT in your deck. This office gets pretty risky sometimes, maybe Gambler
could act as Dr. Crash.

         This deck didn't need a lot of help. It was already pretty good.
Nicely done. We like theme decks here at the office. Especially ones about

         Stick around, I'm about to share some more tidbits from Dr. Crash's

           Ever wonder how he got the nickname Crash?? In 12th grade, he
drove his 12 speed bicycle straight through the rear window of a parked car.
He claims it was dark and rainy and the car was illegally parked in the
shadows, but we all know it was just those thick lenses of his again. Oddly
enough, all he got was a couple stitches over his right eyebrow, a chipped
tooth and some scratches on his cheeks. Here's a picture. You always do dumb
stuff a day or two before picture day, huh?

            Hmm..in the 8th grade, oh, this is good, in the 8th grade, Dr.
Crash had to come into school for a special academic event. (Those brains
are all alike. No lives. Of course they're free on Saturdays for school
things.) Since the cafeteria was shut, he had to bring a lunch. He had a
sandwich, some fruit snacks, some cookies and a chicken leg leftover from
the previous night's dinner. He ate everything but the chicken leg. Well, it
seems he was in a hurry, so he just left his lunchbag in the top of his
locker and then FORGOT all about it. After a week, the hall had this really
rancid stench, but nobody, including the future doctor, knew what it was.
After 2 weeks, locker cleanouts were ordered and the officials came upon the
rotted, moldy, decomposing chicken in front of all the other students who
were cleaining out their lockers. Boy did he have a hard time getting a date
for the dances that year. Well, harder than normal. Heck he STILL has a hard
time getting dates. Them brains is all alike, I tell ya.

           Finally, in college, he was plagued by this insane girl. She was
madly obsessed with him, I have no clue why. The problem is that she was a
total headcase, ironically the type of person he was learning to treat. Get
this. She thought her cat was madly in love with her and came to college one
day worried that she was going to have kittens. Then there is the one time
she said that, every four years, aliens come down and land in her backyard
in order to have Thanksgiving dinner with her family. Lastly, she thought
her 1988 Lincoln was haunted by the ghost of some long dead pirate, who
announced his presence by making the radio play "Kiss From a Rose". Never
mind that it was the number 1 song on all the stations. What a loon.
            He shoulda married that gal. They're perfect for each other.
She's insane, he's a neurotic maniac. Perfect.

         Well there's plenty of other delightful skeletons from Dr. Crash's
past that I could share, but then I gotta have fuel for another day he makes
the mistake of letting me fix the decks. Once again I'll close by stealing
Spike's schtick.

     Another Hypno's Random Thought of the Day:

           In school they teach "The Three 'R's", Reading, Writing and
Arithmetic. So how come only one of those begins with 'R'? This is really
why children do so poorly on standardized tests. So, in effect, we're being
taught the 'R', the 'W' and the 'A'. Rearrange those letters and you get
"WAR", which happens to be the only thing the United States is really any
good at. Kind of spooky, no?

                        Good Luck!!
                    Dr. Crash's Hypno
Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com