I came out of my session room today to find my secretary hunched over
the fish tank, holding a coffee filter with the middle cut out to resemble
an open circle. She was stirring the water with a Bic pen and whining
"C'mon...Do it for me. Pleeeease! Do it again, Awwwwwww C'mon..." She tapped
the pen against the inside of the glass and I could see all the goldfish
nervously hiding under the rocks, probably hoping the giant thing with
California Coral pink lipstick would just get bored and go search for prey
    She explained to me that she was staring at the fish from above earlier
this afternoon while holding an empty coffee mug by the edge. Suddenly the
big goldfish just jumped right into the mug and flopped around, and now
she's convinced that we have circus fish.
    I'm beginning to think she is HIGHLY overpaid.

   But enough about my troubles. Let's hear yours.

>I call it Psyshock.  It is sorta OK.  It was just made and so far it hasn't
>lost many.  At some rare times I can't get energy for some reason. 
>is for battling pretty much any deck.  Because most of my guys have
>to Psychics, I put in a few Kangaskhans.  Very few times have I had energy
>problems, but they happen.  Please, help me out.
>4-Gastly (fossil)
>4-Haunter (1fossil, 3 basic)
>1-Gengar (fossil)
>3-Mewtwo (2 basic, 1 movie)
>2-Kangaskhan (jungle)
>3-Abra (basic)
>3-Kadabra (basic)
>1-Porygon (basic)
>1-Mr. Mime (jungle)
>4-Slowpoke (fossil)
>1-Evil Slowbro (Team Rocket)
>1-Slowbro (fossil)
>1-Energy Removal
>2-Super Energy Removal
>2-Energy Retrieval
>2-Super Potion
>2-Gust of Wind
>2-Computer Search
>1-Professor Oak
>Thank you,

     This isn't too bad. It's not too good either. And please allow me to
get this off my chest...LASS?? LASS??? Were you dropped as a child?
      Ok. I'm fine now. When your secretary trains fish, you need to vent
once in a while.

      The concept of a deck that can handle all types of decks is an
appealing one. But like the island of Xanadu, it's a dream that will
probably never be found. Somewhere, somehow you'll have a weakness. It will
either be a weakness to one type of attack, a problem with speed, difficulty
getting the proper energy...something.
      So let's toss out the premise of having a "deck-of-all-trades". Once
we lose that ideal, you're really just left with a bunch of cards that were
tossed together without any real purpose.
      Since Psychic creatures make up the bulk of your deck, I can work with
that and give you something to use. Don't worry. Psychic is a very strong
type. It's only drawback is that it requires a large energy commitment. But
that's workable.

       Right away I'd suggest ditching the Slowpoke line. Psychic has much
better creatures to offer than this reject. He's just a watered down
Alakazam. I would also discourage the use of foreign cards. I'm very sure
that the Evil Slowbro you have is written in Japanese. That is very unfair
to players who have never seen it and have no clue what it can do. Even if
you know fully, the only thing anyone else has is your say-so, so
conceivably you could make anything up and they'd have to believe you. Maybe
there's a translation in a book somewhere, but they've been known to be
extremely wrong. I always tell my patients, "If you can't read it, don't
play it." Wait for the English version.

      A core group of PokeMon consisting of the Gastly-Haunter-Gengar and
the Abra-Kadabra-Alakazam families works very well together. Shuffling
damage back and forth while delivering strong psychic blows is always a
force to be reckoned with. The addition of some Mr. Mimes or several Mewtwos
(The movie version) will round out your deck. A couple Chanseys would fit
nicely as well.
      You DON'T need Porygon. His effects are mediocre at best and his HP
are abyssmal. A Magikarp is a better weapon...well OK, they're about even.

      One second....I need to go bring my secretary back to reality.
(Off in distance) What is that on your head? Is that a cone cup from the
water cooler painted up with nail polish to look like a circus hat? Do you
even remember why you get dressed and come here in the morning?? Something
about your having a....job?? Yes, remember now? A job?? Quit tormenting my
poor goldfish and go file something....and NOT YOUR NAILS!

      Alrighty then...some days, I swear. Okay, I believe that I was
planning to discuss your Trainers next. I have my own personal fish trainer,
but that's beside the point...

      Well, obviously, the Lasses can go. You won't need them, and you'll
never miss them. The Energy Retrievals can go too. You have Gastly and Movie
Mewtwo who can both search the trash for used Energy. Don't duplicate with
Trainers what your creatures can already do. You can safely ditch the
Pokedex, the Potions and the Defenders. Their uses are rather narrow and
don't serve well in this deck.

       What should you have?? Card drawing power, that's what. No Pokemon
deck is complete without a full set of Bills and a couple Professor Oaks.
Don't be afraid to use them whenever you don't have what you need in your
hand. Hoping you can hold off until next turn to get that top card is a
losing strategy. Get it when you can. But ONLY when you don't have anything
useful in your hand. Knowing when to play Trainers is part of becoming a
        You will also benefit from some Gusts of Wind. No other card can
shift the odds in your favor more than the Gust. Take advantage of it.
        With any deck using Alakazam, and especially Alakazam with Gengar,
you should include a couple PokeMon Centers. Since the Center causes the
discard of all Energy on any creature it heals, an excellent strategy would
be to pile all the damage you can onto your Movie Mewtwo and heal it. Since
this Mewtwo can retrieve its own Energy, you'll never be at a loss. The
Alakazam/Gengar shuffle is also a dirty trick being used by a lot of
players. Use it too. It's a good one.

        Here's my suggestion for what your deck should look like. And please
try to ignore my secretary's whistling of the Barnum and Bailey Ringling
Brothers theme music...

         3 Gastlys
         3 Haunters
         2 Gengars
         3 Abras
         3 Kadabras
         2 Alakazams
         2 Movie Mewtwos
         2 Chanseys

         4 Bills
         2 Professor Oaks
         4 Gusts of Wind
         2 Pokemon Centers
         1 Item Finder
         2 Computer Searches
         2 Pokemon Traders

         23 Psychic Energies

    Remember, in the Gastly-Haunter-Gengar lineup you have very powerful
potential for combos. Gastly will retrieve valuable Energy lost in
retreating, Haunter is invincible 50% of the time, making him a great
staller, and Gengar can hit your opponents backfield and pile up the damage
on a Pokemon with an annoying power. (Like Muk or Aerodactyl) Combined with
Kadabra's sheer power, Alakazam's damage redistribution skills and the promo
Mewtwo's economical attacks, you've got a recipe for some major whoopass.
    Also you shouldn't be terrified of being particularly weak to any one
type. Only Fighting and Psychic types will pose a strong threat to you, but
the Gastly family is all resistant to Fighting with NO WEAKNESS to Psychic.
Chansey is also tough against Psychic. And Fighting type decks will have a
difficult time since you can wipe them out due to their weakness to your
Psychic creatures.
     Just be sure to use the Pokemon Center sparingly and only when you've
got a lot of damage to clear. It's powerful card, but carries drawbacks, so
combo things well.

       I hope this cure meets your liking. It's impossible to have a deck
that beats all types, but this one should fare very well against most major
competitors. As always, just try to have fun and you'll be fine.
       You should probably leave the payment with me. My secretary
has...uh...issues. Speaking of her, she seems quiet. I'd better take a look
out the door and- Oh my god!! What is she doing??

       No!! Don't put face paint on the fish!!! I don't care if it's
waterproof mascara! I'll buy some clownfish...is that what you want??

      My poor goldfish....

                         Until next time,
                     Good Luck
                                Dr. Crash Landon
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