My secretary warned me about this next guy, Blade I think it is. Seems he
doesn't travel anywhere without his Pokemon. Unfortunately he doesn't have a
cute Pikachu or Psyduck or anything. This Trainer has somehow managed to get
himself a Blastoise. Big and cumbersome if you ask me. Rumor is this guy let
his Squirtle evolve all the way, but hasn't got the badges to control it.
Big mistake. An even bigger one was my not taking out comprehensive
insurance on my furniture and walls.
   I can hear some sort of frustrated arguing. He must be on his way up. Who
needs madcap office hijinx when you can get patients like this??
   Hey, welcome to the office, you and all your Pokemon. My secretary is
laying down newspaper as we speak.
>Blade:WHOA! Hey, down, Blastoise! OW! Stop kicking me like that!
>Glub...hey...Glub...QUIT HYDROPUMPING ME! DOWN! No, he's not food.
>That's Crash Landon. Say hi to the nice man, Blastoise... NO! The lamp
>isn't beef jerky! No, I don't want to see you riverdance! QUIT SHAKING
>THE FLOOR! Look, just because you had a little accident with your
>girlfriend doesn't mean you have to blow the building apart. (Sniffs)
>DEAR LORD, WHAT WERE YOU EATING BLASTOISE?! Geez.. look, go try swimming
>in the fishbowl or something... I WAS JOKING BLASTOISE! Hey, STOP
>ATTACKING the mirror! Aw geez, return.
> You have to excuse him. I just took apart my raindance and he's a
>little upset. (Pops out of Pokeball.) Aw geez, why didn't you go before
>we got here? ...Okay, just hurry back.
> Anyway, sorry about the smell of salmon burrito farts and immense holes
>in your floor.. he's been kinda crazy, lately.
> Anyway, I need help. I've made a Psy deck that for once does NOT
>include the over-used Chansey-Kazam squad. It instead relies on pure
>cunning attacks, not Powers.
>2 Mewtwo
>3 Gastly
>2 Haunter
>3 Abra
>2 Kadabra
>2 Lickitung
>2 Scyther
>1 Mr. Mime (all I have.)
>19 Psy (all I have)
>3 DCE
>3 Bill
>3 SER
>2 full heal
>3 Switch
>3 Mr. Fuji
>4 E. Retrival
>3 Recycle
> The Kadabras are to eliminate any Fighting or Psy-weak pokemon. They
>can also weaken some colorless a bit, making them less of a threat.
>Haunter is used to take down any pokemon that use energy-discarding
>attacks or attacks that deal damage to the attacker. For example, if
>Chansey does his attack, and I do get a heads, he's basically done my
>work for me, as Transparency blocks
>it 50% of the time. Scyther takes care of Chansey as well, Slashing its
>HP so Mr. Mime can handle it once he's ready. Mewtwo, well, what can I
>say? He'll multilate anything that needs high energy, and, if I'm
>desperate, block an attack that could ruin my win chances.
> Oh great, he's probably overflowed the toilet... haunter, try to help
>the poor guy. (floats off.)
>Any way, the SERs are for annoyance. I store 'em up, and right when he
>has all those nice high e. cost pokes out... BAM!!!!
>Bill gives me a chance at grabbing a good card without decking myself.
>Recycle is for getting an evo. or trainer  I need. That's basically it,
>so... HEY!! Why are you two so frightened? You look like you've seen a
>ghost... Oh great... Blastoise, you went into the ladies room? You must
>be tramuatized... Haunter, just sit down... or float, I don't care.
>Guess I'll have Mewtwo erase your minds when we get out of here. Anyway,
>that's my deck.
>Blastoise: (The horror, the horror...)
>Blade: What's the matter?
>Blastoise: (I don't wanna talk about it.) [Withdraws and whimpers]

       If my fish are traumatized, so help me.....

    That's quite a motley crew you've got there. Do you know what I was
saying just the other to my secretary? I was saying that if this place
lacked anything, it was huge gaping holes in the infrastructure. Thank God
you came along and remedied THAT.
     My Mom was right, I should have stuck with McDonald's.

   So you come in here and decimate my office, then expect me to help you?
Boy you guys really do have me pegged, huh? OK, here goes...

    All right, a Psychic deck not relying upon The Damage Swap strategy.
Then you'd best have some steady offense. When you say Haunter and Gastly,
I'm praying that you mean the Fossil versions. You made note of
Transparency, so I'm going to assume so. If not, go crawl under a rock and
wait for evolution or survival of the fittest to determine your fate.
    Kadabra is a solid attacker, more so than Alakazam. Recover is useful in
some situations too. He stays. The ratio is good too.
    The Mewtwos are okay, but not great. I'd replace them with the Promo
variant. That Mewtwo has a much better attack with a sweet ability to
recycle Energy. You may consider going one Basic and one Promo, but you
should play test this extensively to determine which truly is the best for
your deck. I'm inclined to say Promo.
    You may not like Chansey, but I think he is slightly better than
Lickitung. Lickitung can cause status anomalies, true, but the damage is
minimal. Chansey can at least give out a good whomp before he goes out.
Seeing as the Weaknesses and Resistances are identical, the higher HP on
Chansey makes sense to use. Avoiding damage is very nice too. Were I you,
I'd seriously consider putting in the Chanseys. It is a very good card, and
there's no point in not using the best.
      Scyther is a great way to meta-game your opponent. Leave both of them
in there. Fire is tremendously unpopular right now, except as a splash using
Fossil Magmar and Charmeleon or a 6 year-old Charizard deck. So you're most
likely safe from double damage.
      Mr. Mime is good, but not as he once was. The problem lies not in Mr.
Mime, but in the players. Many people have become wise to the Invisible Wall
and pack light touchers for just such an occasion. Still, when that Gyarados
is barreling down upon you, Mime is priceless. You should have 2 in this
deck, but no more.
      Your Pokemon are pretty good. They represent a myriad of abilities,
which is advantageous. So let's focus tighter upon your Trainers.

      I'm looking right at those Full Heals. Recently I saw some kid's deck
which I nicknamed the Boy Scout deck, much to his chagrin. It had one of
every Trainer just in case. You know, "be prepared". Full Heal is like that.
You should steer away from including cards to cover circumstances that only
happen every now and then. Yes, you'll be poisoned. Yes you'll be paralyzed.
These things will happen in the future, but the space is best spent upon a
card which will be useful in any game, not just one out of 5. I'm going to
pull them out to create some leeway in terms of space. I'll fill it in
      Recycle is a double edged sword. It avoids losing the 2 cards required
by Item Finder, but you have to wait a turn to get the card usually. Many
times one cannot wait for the next turn because it will be too late. This is
why Item Finder is really the superior card. 2 Item Finders will be better
than those Recycles.
      Mr. Fuji is a very nice card. Against a stall deck, it becomes truly
useful, buying time your opponent may not be able to compensate for. I
wouldn't touch the Fujis here.
      I don't see the need for all those Energy Retrievals. Promo Mewtwo and
Fossil Gastly can hold down the Energy fort with their recycling abilities.
      Might I ask where your Professor Oaks are??? Hmmm?? Did Blastoise eat
them during his Raindance??? I doubt it. I only smell salmon in the air, not
Oak. You will not deck yourself by playing Professor Oak in the mid-game and
it's a vital card if you want to play competitively. Before you do anything
else, put in 2 Oaks. NOW! And another Bill too!! 4 is the FDA recommended
amount of Bills in your Deck's diet.
       The rest of your Trainers appear to be a melange of useful cards, but
in no apparent strategized number.
       The Switches are OK. Don't go overboard on them though. Psychic
retreat is still affordable. Especially Fossil Haunter and your Scythers.
        You're fine with the Super Energy Removals. Whether you hoard them
and play them all at once or use them intermittently, they're an excellent
card to have.
       Put in some Gusts of Wind and a Computer Search to maximize your
capacity to deal with the unforeseen, and you'll be set.

      Excuse me while I fetch some Lysol spray...What kind of trainer gives
his Pokemon salmon burritos in the first place?? Really, you should stick
with Purina Pokemon Chow or Iams Fantasy Diet.
       I have to ask this. Where in the hell have you been to cause your
Blastoise to think my lamp was beef jerky? Are meat flavored appliances
commplace where you come from? Do you spray your furniture at home with
Bacos and glue to keep him from eating the cat? What does he think my
bookends taste like? Orange marmalade? I can just imagine your place. 24
square feet of twisted, gnarled, saliva drenched ottomans, mixed with random
holes in the floor, covered by Hefty bags to keep the cold out. If you come
back here in a month with a Kadabra who rearranges my office layout with a
maelstrom of uncontrolled telekinetic fury, heads will roll. I promise you

      I can hear you Blastoise laughing to himself inside his ball. Cool.
Anyway, this deck will require slightly more Energy than you had included.
You've got 22. You'll need 24. Four of that should be Double Colorless
Energy. So really you just need to scrounge up another Psychic and 2 more
DCE. Nothing too severe.

         This is how your deck should look. I'd suggest rebuilding your
Raindance deck soon so that your poor Blastoise isn't so restless too.

         2 Promo Mewtwos
         3 Fossil Gastlys
         2 Fossil Haunters
         3 Abras
         2 Kadabras
         2 Chanseys
         2 Scythers
         2 Mr. Mimes

         4 Bills
         2 Professor Oaks
         3 Mr. Fujis
         3 Super Energy Removals
         2 Switches
         2 Gusts of Wind
         1 Item Finder
         1 Computer Search

         20 Psychic Energy
         4 Double Colorless Energy

         Viola!! Or is it Violin, I can never remember. This deck still
alolows you the cunning attack power combined with sneaky Trainers, but
without all the chaff from before. I do not pronounce you cured, simply
because you're obviously a walking whack-a-mole game, but your deck is fixed
at any rate. More than I can say for my floors.

        Do you realize how much this will cost me?? Not a cent actually. I
was kidding about not having comprehensice insurance. When you deal with
giant oversized dragons and turtles, you need some peace of mind.

       I'm still a bit perturbed about what you've done to this place, but
even more frustrated because I drank a pot of coffee in anticipation of your
arrival and now your Blastoise has gone and stunk up the facilities with the
scent of Blastoise feces and secondhand salmon. Thanks a bunch.

        You can keep the lamp. It's no good to me now.

                  Good luck!
               Dr. Crash Landon
Get Your Private, Free Email at