Vul vul vulpix!

I want to apologize for not being here last week. As Spike may have told you, I was attending a Fire Pokemon convention in the Bahamas. It was interesting. They had a number of speakers and seminars on various subjects. I went to one on "Dealing with Anti-Fire Bigotry in a world of Blastoise." There was also a session for Rapidash to help them talk about Wizards yanking their card from Base 2 and printing a crappy Rapidash in Team Rocket. There was even a Charizard who spoke on the derision his people have had to face simply because of the inferior card they recieved in the Base set. It was all very interesting. If you're a Fire pokemon, and you weren't there, you should have been. At any rate, I'm now back and I'm ready to answer your questions. So send them in!

Our first letter for today comes from someone who's having some problems with his Ditto...

>my poke'mon wanted to say "hello" SCYTHER:scy! scy! DRAGONAIR:
>(waves his tale) ONIX:rrrraaaaawwww!!! BLASTOISE:blas'blas toise!!
>RAICHU:rai raichu(waves) and last but not least DITTO: (turns into
>I have a question. my ditto has a strange habit of transforming into a
> double cheese burger!! (ditto transforms into a  adouble chesse
>please help me! some time it does it  when  my dad gets hungery and
>trys to
>eat it!!  (and my dad gets really angery when it yells DITTO and turn
>into my
>brothers arbok  in his mouth !!  )

This is interesting. While Dittos CAN turn into items other than Pokemon, they don't normally tend to do so. What you need to understand is that transforming into a cheeseburger is not wrong, just different. If it enjoys doing so, where's the harm in it? And perhaps your dad could learn not to attempt to eat cheeseburgers that he finds lying around the house in odd places.

>Dear Vulpix,
>I have a problem with my Charmander he always types CHAR after every
>I type. Can you help?
>Annoyed in Kansas

And... what's wrong with that?

>Wassup, Vulpix!  I want to know, how do Haunter, Geodude, and Magneton
>go to
>the bathroom?
>MAGNETON:Tell us, please!!
>HAUNTER:My back teeth are floating!!
>~Dragon Rage
>P.S. Did I mention the smell?

I didn't think they HAD to go to the bathroom. I've known one Golem for years, and he never mentioned anything about it. After getting this letter, I called him and asked him about it, only to be told that he couldn't really explain it to someone who didn't personally have the proper equipment. I suggest you consult a member of one of these Pokemon families for advice.

That's all! Remember, send your letters and such to! Vulpix!


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