Hey, there you are. Come on in. Here take an umbrella. You'll
need it. We're up to our necks in liquid. My furniture is soaked. I
had to unplug everything; the jukebox, the lights, the computer, the
works. And it's ALL my secreatary's fault.
Merv the cook at the cafeteria had a kid yesterday. Well, his
wife really had the child. Merv just walked back and forth, yelled at
the clock a lot and tried to look important. But he's now the proud,
boisterous father of an 8 pound 4 ounce female poop machine. God
help his soul.
Merv was commemorating the event by handing out cigars
today. Merv has never been one to resist showing off, so he bought
some pricey Caribbean cigars and passed them out. I don't smoke,
so I gave mine to the shoeshine man for a tip. He seemed to be
enjoying his. My secretary doesn't smoke either, but she's also
dumb enough to try anything once. Having never tried a full,
unfiltered stalk of tobacco before she decided to light it up at her
Enter problem: My secretary uses enough hairspray to render
her coiffure impervious to small bullets. She also uses a
particularly smelly brand of nail polish. Both these items, the hair
spray and the nail polish are extremely flammable. Upon lighting
the match, she accidentally brought the flame too close to her
head and her hair was set ablaze. So naturally she pressed her
hands against her skull to mat out the fire, her hands with freshly
painted nails. These too caught fire.
So she freaks. She was running around like a chicken with
several body parts lopped off. To smite the flames, or maybe
deprive them of O2, she shoved her head in the trash can. A smart
person would have emptied it first though.
Now we had one person with a small blase on her head and a
second fire raging in the round file. It was exacty this tpye of event I
foresaw when I had the sprinkler system installed.
Sure enough, they went off. My secretary was drenched, the
flames snuffed instantly. The garbage can too was reduced to a
melted pile of wet ash.
Enter second problem. The sprinkler system was installed by
Union workers, so naturally they cut corners and did as little as
possible between coffee breaks. The sprinklers came on
beautifully. The shut-off valve snapped like peanut brittle. So now
my office is being drenched in a constant spray of water. My
secretary is trying to paint herself some new eyebrows. My Hypno
is laughing his head off. My fish are enjoying every minute.
That's where it stands right now, and speaking of standing, I'm
tired of being on my feet. I feel like sitting in a mist instead. Let's
go into my office. It may not be dryer in there, but there's a nicer
view of the street where the fire trucks will be approaching. Let's
see your deck, if you can keep the water off.
First of all I hope it's all right that I brought my Persian. She should
be fine as long as you've scotch-guarded your couch.-puuuuurrrrrrsian- Oh
yeah, Persian wants to say hi to Hypno -puuursian! puuursian!- Persian is his
Well anyway here is my deck for your inspection. It's strategy is having
each pokemon protects each other through weakness and resistance.
3 Hitmoncha- Protects Lapras and great starter.
2 Scyther-Protects the Persian line and he is here for the obvious reasons.
4 Promo Meowth-Just here for evolving but Catpunch has its uses
3 Persian-Protects Hitmonchan, the ultimate Psy killer plus it has good
attacks and free retreat.
3 Lapras-Protects Scyther and Confuse Ray rules!
1 RSA-Great card but I only have one. :-(
2 NGR-Prevents decking and with the low energy amounts in this deck i need it.
3 ER- Makes your opponent scream. He He He
2 Lass-Congratulations! Your opponent is now screwd!
2 Scoop Up-Automatic switch and completely cures your pokemon.
3 Oak- Here for the obvious reasons.
3 Bill-The same.
3 GOW- Pick off those little wimpy basics one by one before they can evolve.
3 Comp Search- The ability to get anything from your deck is amazing.
3 Plus Power- This card has saved me millions of times.
8 Fighting NRG
8 Water NRG
This deck works very well against a variety of decks, It has beaten decks
from Haymaker to Raindance to Damage Swap. Although it doesn't finsh the
opponent quickly it slowly eats away at them 20 or 30 a turn. The Persian
line is really under estimated it has won me many games.-PUUUUUURRRRRRSIAN!-
Thank you for fixing my deck,
You could not have chosen a more inopportune time to bring
a cat into my office. He's not looking terribly thrilled to be wet right
now. Maybe he should wait in the hall, eh?
This deck is somewhat different from all the other decks I
receive in that you're using a card that most people dismiss as
being too average to consider. The truth is that Persian is a pretty
decent Pokemon. The damage it does isn't huge, but it does add
up quickly. As a free retreat Pokemon, Persian is good. Reducing
damage received the next turn is all right, but sometimes 10 may
be too little to matter. What is nice about Slash is that it costs the
same as Scyther's Slash attack, does identical damage, but gives
you the added damage prevention effect.
Persian isn't for every deck. But as a safeguard against
Psychic Pokemon, Persian is excellent. The normal resistance to
Psychic is heightened by an additional 10 damage shrugged off,
which makes Promo Mewtwo's attack useless against Persian. A
nice counter-strategy, since MP Mewtwo is very common in most
The Promo Meowth isn't wonderful, but it works well enough.
Cat Punch is unpredictable, but I like it better than the Jungle and
Team Rocket versions of Meowth. If you've got 4 of those Promos,
good job collecting.
The rest of your deck is an odd mix of resistance and calculated
weakness. This is actually well thought out with quick, effective
Scyther, the standard fits well. Lapras is good for some early
damage to Fire types that would hurt Scyther. Hitmonchan
destroys the Electric types that threaten Lapras. Persian and
Meowth block the Pschics that would seek to hurt Hitmonchan.
Scyther will take out a good portion of Fighting Pokemon aimed at
your Persian. Grass weakness isn't always present, but it IS
becoming more frequent with later sets.
Persian and Scyther have no retreat which makes your shuffle
and protect strategy viable. That's a plus.
Your Pokemon are all in working order, so let's look at those
This deck seems somewhat reliant upon it's Trainers to supply
more cards and thus the appropriate Energy types. Control like
Gust of Wind and Scoop Up are both important to have access to
at all times too. For this reason, I'd suggest pulling out those
Lasses. They would work much better as Rocket Sneak Attacks.
Lass will hurt your important Trainer support too much. This deck
isn't as fast as a traditional Haymaker which can survive a Lassing.
RSA is better for your your slow and steady pace.
I can see that with the various types of Pokemon here, it may
be necessary to buy yourself some time. Your Oaks and Bills
won't always save you. This is why Super Energy Removal would
be better than the Energy Removals you have. Energy Removal is
good, it works nicely in some of the new deck types coming out.
But here, SER is definitely the way to go. If you're not doing
massive damage, you need to buy time for the moderate damage
to build up.
That's all I'd do for Trainers. I'd LIKE to see 4 Bills, not 3, but I
can grudgingly accept 3 Bills since you have 3 Oaks too. Any
lower and you're tempting fate though.
The Energy is all set to go too. 8 + 8 + 4 = 20 = Good job.
Well that's pretty much it. Your strategy is very well thought
out with the counterweaknesses and resistances. The metagame
in your area must be pretty advanced. There's really no need to
supply a new decklist here since I only replaced 4 or 5 cards. This
deck was already good. I've only tweaked it to better suit your
slower pace. If you can take your time and still survive with thsi
deck, more power to you.
Well, your deck is fixed. I pronounce you cured. I'd prefer cash
today since the ink on money doesn't run as it might on a check.
I'll take it myself too. My secretary is...um...busy mourning the
loss of her dye job.
It doesn't look as if this water is going to let up anytime
soon. Maybe I'll take a walk down to the cafeteria. I hear Merv is
still telling stories about his new daughter and giving out cigars. I
think I may actually like a cigar right about now. I'm gonna need
something to shove down his throat for starting this mess.
Dr. Crash Landon