Yes, you read that right-- it's "We Get Letters," not "I Get Letters." Due to time and space constraints, there's only going to be one column for today. We'll answer both mine and Vulpix's letters, so never fear--you'll get your dose of both of us.

Garage announcements? I don't think there are any. Well, maybe a couple, but they tie in with a couple of letters. We'll get to that.

First... Spike's letters:


>Subject:Funky Pokémon
>
>okay, at the end of the Aurora Bored deck fix, you wondered where
>Brassiere
>and Ceiling got their names... I'll try to explain it for you.
>    First, OhDrat would kill me if I didn't mention her first.  Her
>name
>isn't hard to figure out.  I was in a battle in Pokémon Red, and was
>going to
>send out my Dragonite (named Dratinier, because I figured it was pretty
>small
>for a Dratini when I caught it) but instead I sent out the as-yet
>Un-Named
>Dratini I was in the process of raising.  She got KO'd in one hit from
>my
>opponent's Dodrio (ouch, I don't like that Bird Keeper dude unless I
>have
>Jolteon with me!)  I exclaimed, out loud, startling some nearby people,
>"OH
>DRAT!"  And thus OhDrat got her name.
>    Ceiling's name is somewhat less involved.  I caught a Seel in the
>Seafoam
>Islands, and was trying to think of a good name for it.  I had already
>traded
>for a Seel earlier, the one named Sailor, but I liked this one better. 
>I
>named it Ceiling... originally it was Sealing Wax but I changed my mind
>because it wouldn't fit.
>    Brassiere was named while I was playing cards.  One of the earler
>versions of Slow-Roasted Mental Midgets on Apprentice... and I was
>blessed
>with an Immortal Abra.  My opponent was REALLY steamed because I kept
>flipping heads (about 5 times) with Psyshock!  When I was done drawing
>my
>card and doing my stuff for the turn, I'd type "Abra, Psyshock!"  Then
>I'd
>flip and it'd be heads.  I got bored doing that though, so once I typed
>just
>"Psyshock!" and I flipped a tails.  Abra was promptly KO'd.  Since I
>figured
>the "nickname" was crucial to my peculiar sense of luck, and having two
>pokemon with the same nickname could be bad, the next Abra I sent out I
>called "Brassiere" because it was the first Abra-type word I could
>think of. 
>In case you're wondering, a brassiere is a type of bra.  Actually, it
>IS a
>bra... the unabridged version.  Anyhow, Brassiere-the-Abra turned out
>to be a
>TRULY Immortal Abra.  It lasted until I got (and powered up) a Jynx,
>which
>wiped out most of the rest of my opponent's pokemon!
>    I have a few other oddly-named pokemon around... Nebula the Persian
>(named for my RL cat) Caffeine the Jolteon (Ever hear of Jolt Cola?),
>silly
>stuff like that.  I come up with weird Deck Names too, like
>Detesticide,
>Slow-roasted Mental Midgets, and most recently Gengang (for my very
>first
>gameboy Gengar).  I just have a weird knack for driving people insane
>with
>weird words.
>    Have fun deciphering this e-mail!
>            Rainy the Furry Blue Mock-Dragon
>        and Oh Drat the Bratty Blue Poké-Dragon

SPIKE: Heh. Thanks for the clarification. And yes, I do know what a brassiere is... but I didn't hit on the phonetic similarity between "bra" and "Abra."

VULPIX: Well, what did you THINK was the reason for the name?

SPIKE: Don't go there, Vulpix...

>ps.  OhDrat says hi to Vulpix... 
>    Uh, Drat, are you going to say anything else to Vulpix?
>    OhDrat:  "Drahaha!  OhDra tinien rat dra"
        Uh, I didn't catch all of that, I think she's talking about her
>friend, Rake the Rattata.
>    OhDrat:  "Rat dra ni drat oh drat"
>        Ahh, okay, her friend Rake the Rattata says that it likes
>Vulpix's
>tails, because they look like his tail, only in red-peacock-form. 
>    OhDrat:  "Oh tini dratin!"
>        Yes, Drat, Rattata in Pokémon Yellow is adorable.  Yes, the
>Team
>Rocket Expansion Rattata is pretty cute too.  No, I do not have the
>Team
>Rocket Dratini.  OUCH!
>
>    Okay, gotta scram and get a band aid and some rubbing alcohol for
>this
>bite...
>        RS & OD

VULPIX: Vulpix vulpix! Pix vulpix! Vulpix! (wags happily)

SPIKE: Okay. This is one of those things that you're not going to translate for me, isn't it? Next letter...

>Subject:My Deck/Battle
>
>Nice Fix. Though you didn't record that battle quite right. Right
>before
>you used dig, I used my Flareon's secret move, Metramome (Sp?)
>Unfortunatly for me, it metramomed foul oder, and it missed you. That
>caused my Flareon to be confused, and that is why dig got it. You
>dhould
>battle my Denryu, Mokoko, or Meriipu. Those 3, Flareon, and Rediba are
>my star pokemon. I'm also carrying around this mysterious egg. Dr. Snor
>and his assistant Dr. Lax (The local pokemon professors) think it might
>be a Serbii egg and it might hatch on the 2nd of April, 2000 AD. Have
>your machine call my machine to set the date, place, and time of the
>rematch.
>
>KoolKow
>
>Rollin Rollin Rollin, Keep Those Poke Balls Rollin

SPIKE: You have a Meriipu, too? Cool! Maybe we can battle them sometime.

VULPIX: Doesn't "Dr. Lax" sound like something you'd find on a drugstore shelf?


>Subject:hatemail
>
>You wrote an article at pojo.com a while back saying that all pokemon
>are good in decks except maybe voltorb and staryu family. YOU ARE PROBABLY
>THE BIGGEST IDIOT EVER TO GRACE THE POJO'S PAGES! The voltorb line and
>staryu lines are both mad. Sure voltorb is gay but both electrodes are kick ass.
>The base one kos a Blastoise in one go! And jungle version tears through a
>bench. Staryu is the water equivilent to machop. AND HEAPS OF PEOPLE
>PUT MACHOP IN THEIR DECKS. Starmie aint to bad either. It paralyses and
>recovers. Also, you cant base a deck around any pokemon you like. You cant
>seriously tell me you can base a deck around onix or Slowpoke can you?!
>
>That letter was crap,
>BYE

SPIKE: Okay. I don't remember when I wrote this, but if memory serves, it was quite some time ago. It would help if you had specified which of my many articles this was, as many of them touch upon the same themes. If I said Electrode was bad, then okay, maybe I was wrong. Both Electrodes are okay. But Voltorb just sucks. Likewise, Staryu would be good if it had something good to evolve into. As it is, Water can do better. Now, as for your final assertion... yes, I could base a deck around Onix or Slowpoke (rather, Slowbro... same difference.) A staller comes to mind, using Onix's high HP and stalling attacks along with Slowbro's Strange Behavior. See my point?

VULPIX: As for the "biggest idiot" part... coming from you, we'll take that as a compliment.


>Subject:Self-Defense
>
>New deck? No. I am righting (er..writing) in defense of me. You
>humiliated
>me in I Get Letters.
>
>I am trying to play the real way, by the rulebook! And we only play that way
>1 on 1! If we play with decks, we do it THE REAL WAY! And I just traded
>of my R-H Kabutops for Base Mewtwo, now my nonholographic for American
>Promo #6 (Arcanine). I need Vulpix's email becuase, on Pojo, it looks like s,
>then a space, then Vulpix@yahoo.com. And please, try Pokemon-Trade.com and
>tell me what you think of it! If you do like it, you can send me a message by
>going to User Search, and search for MewTwoMewG, then sending me a message.
>OK?


SPIKE: Okay. Sorry. Your letter failed to make that clear. I'm sorry. I hope this clears everything up. I'm very busy, but I'll try to get over to Pokemon-Trade.com and try it out.

VULPIX: As for my e-mail address... well, I know what it looks like. What appears to be a space is actually an underscore. That's one of these things -->  _      So, here's the address again: s_vulpix@yahoo.com.


>Subject:Hello
>
>Are you on weed?


SPIKE: Vulpix, is this stuff technically weed?

VULPIX: Chemically? No.


>Subject:un beatable deck:
>
>this deck is comepletly flawless. no deck on earth can beat. no matter
>how
>hard they try they cannot beat his deck.
>
>pokemon (0)
>
>Trainers(0)
>
>Energy(60)
>60 psychic enregy


SPIKE: Ha. Ha. Hahahahaha.

VULPIX: Hehehe. Heh. Hehehe.

SPIKE: *delete e-mail*

All right. That was all of my letters. Now let's take a look at what landed in Vulpix's mailbox...


>Subject:(no subject)
>
>Evolve yourself into Ninetales cause he is better.


VULPIX: Grrr.

SPIKE: Haven't you ever seen the Lt. Surge cartoon episode? Where Pikachu has the chance to evolve into Raichu, but he doesn't because he wants to remain all little and cute, or something? Well, this is similar.

VULPIX: Not that I dislike Ninetales. I'd just rather be me.


>Subject:Vulpix's corner
>
>Hi, Vulpix.  Say, do you ever think about telling
>Wizards of the Coast off for giving you a crappy card?
> I mean, I have several Vulpix's on my gameboy game,
>and they all are much stronger than that card would
>have you believe.  You deserve so much more
>recognition!  Vulpix is one of the strongest fire
>types out there.  Not to mention you're cute and
>adorable.  Why anyone would want to rip you off is
>beyond me...  Well, I collect, trade, and play teh
>Pokemon cardgame, and I want you to know that I'm
>working on designing a Vulpix card that better suits
>you...  I wanted you to know that I'm a big fan fo
>fire types, and that I think vulpix is one of the
>"hottest" pokemon out there.  (sorry for the bad
>pun...)  Well, gotta go.  Hope you post this in your
>corner...  Oh, and I think spike should give you back
>your own section!!!


VULPIX: You're too kind. Well, the good news is that we'll be getting several more Vulpix cards in Gym, almost all of which are more powerful and cuter to boot. Spike has all of them, naturally.

SPIKE: Naturally.

VULPIX: And about my own section... when did Spike take it away? I've still got it. I didn't do it this week, but it's still there!


>Subject:Okay...
>
>Hi, Vulpix. I just needed the 3-20-2000 poll results.
>What are you're thoughts on Mew? I think he's great.


VULPIX: I can kick Mew's little pink ass any day of the week!

SPIKE: Okay... this brings us to the poll. The poll, you see, is no more. It has been removed. It's gone. It won't be coming back. We wrote up the results, and even some new questions, but they were never posted. (Well, the questions were posted for part of Monday...) The bottom line is, don't expect to even hear the "P" word around here for a while. And another thing--please don't blame anybody for this. It wasn't my fault, it wasn't Vulpix's fault, it wasn't the fault of anyone else at the PoJo. It simply wasn't a good idea in the first place.

VULPIX: *sniff*

SPIKE: Oh great, I reminded him about it. He was quite saddened by the axing of his poll, you see...

VULPIX: (cries)

I'd better wrap this up before Vulpix gets too much worse. Fortunately, those are all the letters for this week. Now go read the four fixes (two "real" fixes and two bashes) that we've posted up for your reading enjoyment.

SPIKE'S RANDOM THOUGHT OF THE DAY:

Man, Monty Python is a laugh riot. I'm thinking of making "The Lumberjack Song" the official theme song of Spike's Shed. I'd take a poll on it, but a group of dark-haired men wearing suits and dark glasses have threatened to break several of my bones if I even mention the poll again. So I'm not going to mention the P-word anymore. No more. Nope.

Just in case you want to write to either of us (God forbid) here's our addies, as usual:

Spike
spike@pojo.com

Vulpix
s_vulpix@yahoo.com