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Pojo's Pokémon Card of the Day


Slowbro #24

Dark Explorers

Date Reviewed: June 22, 2012

Ratings & Reviews Summary

Modified: 1.00
Limited: 1.17

Ratings are based on a 1 to 5 scale.
1 being the worst. 
3 ... average.  
5 is the highest rating.

Back to the main COTD Page

Combos With: See Below

Baby Mario
2010 UK National

Slowbro (Dark Explorers)

We finish the week with Slowbro – the derpy Pokémon. This is one of those occasions on which I suspect that the card designers are have a bit of a joke at our expense.

Not that there is anything very amusing about Slowbro’s basic Stats. It’s a Stage 1 Water Type with 100 HP, a bad Weakness to Lightning, and a Retreat cost of three. Nothing outstanding or interesting there. Even the attack, Lazy Headbutt is only a mediocre effort. One Water and one Colourless Energy for 80 damage seems quite good value, except it comes with the drawback that Slowbro is now Asleep after using it. So, even if it isn’t KO’d on your opponent’s turn, you need to hit heads between turns so it can wake up and attack again.

So, a mediocre attack then. I was expecting better. Much, much better.

The reason for this is Slowbro’s Ability, Airhead. This states that if you have 2, 4, or 6 Prize cards left, Slowbro cannot attack. I hardly know what to say about this Ability: it seems so random, and so detrimental to Slowbro, that when I read it I feel like I have just been trolled by a Japanese card designer. I could maybe understand it if Lazy headbutt was a brilliant attack that needed to be balanced out somewhere but . . . it isn’t.

Honestly, I’m lost for words. Do you really need me to tell you never to play this?


Modified: 1 (trolololololol – the joke’s on us)

Limited: 1.5 (Don’t think I would want it here either)


Happy Friday, Pojo readers! Today we're taking a break from reviewing Fire-types to review a new Water-type from Dark Explorers, which also happens to be one of the strangest cards to have come out in a long time. Today's Card of the Day is Slowbro.
Slowbro is a Stage 1 Water Pokemon. Water-types don't see much play in Modified primarily due to the LIghtning type being commonplace, as well as a lack of a strong, efficient attacker for the type. As you'll soon see, Slowbro is no exception to this rule. 100 HP is quite nice for a finally-evolved Stage 1, allowing Slowbro to take hits like an unboosted Night Spear or Land Crush and be able to live to tell the tale. Lightning Weakness is very problematic against Zekrom and friends; no Resistance is a normal annoyance; and a huge Retreat Cost of 3 isn't wholly unexpected, but is still very large, so you'll want to switch Slowbro using other methods.
Slowbro has an Ability and a single attack. Airhead prevents Slowbro from attacking when you have 2, 4, or 6 prizes remaining, which is an absolutely useless ability with no upside at all. Really, that's it. This Ability has no positive qualities, unless you really want to mess with your opponent, or simply play around. However, in terms of actual, serious gameplay, Airhead is worthless.
Slowbro's only attack is Lazy Headbutt, which deals a well-costed 80 damage for a Water and a Colorless, with the side effect of putting Slowbro to sleep. Therefore, when you are actually able to attack with Slowbro with 1, 3, or 5 Prizes, you'll also be putting yourself to Sleep, potentially hindering yourself from attacking further. Sure, you can switch out or use something to heal the Status Condition, but why bother when there are so many better options? 80 damage for two Energy is really good, though, so Slowbro may have limited use in Limited. Maybe.
Modified: 1/5 Slowbro has high HP, and no other redeeming qualities. 80 damage for two Energy is great, but the drawbacks are tremendous and there are generally better options for dealing high damage for a low cost. I would rate this card even lower if I could, but I will end with this: at least TPC didn't make it a rare!
Limited: 1/5 Slowbro is still not very good here, as it can't attack most of the time. This does remind me of an amusing story that happened at a local prerelease I judged, where one of our players didn't care about competing and played a deck with only 3 Slowpoke, a Slowbro, and 36 Water Energy. Given that Limited matches start with 4 Prizes, he couldn't attack once he got Slowbro out. He managed to get the Slowbro out every game, and then preceded to actually go 1-4 (one of his opponents actually was doing something similar, but managed to deck himself out). While 80 damage is still great in this format, the other drawbacks aren't even close to worth it. Use something else, unless you're being silly.

Mad Mattezhion
 Professor Bathurst League Australia

Slowbro (Dark Explorers)
Today we get to review one of the least popular Poke'mon around, the slow and monumentally stupid Slowbro. The TCG has been a bit kinder to his older brother Slowking, but I've yet to see even a marginally playable Slowbro.
Which is why I was amazed when I immediately fell in love with this card. This has to be my favourite card from the set, for no other reason than it is the most faithful recreation of Slowbro that I have ever seen.
I mean, just look at it. The habitual blank stare, the half-turned pose as it tries to remember what it was doing, the annoyance of the transformed Shellder which is tethered to this idiot for all eternity. And then there's the effects as well!
The stats perfectly match a layabout likt Slowbro, and the Airhead Ability nails it completely. Only attack when your Prizes are an odd number? Priceless!
Lazy Headbutt completes the package, causing Slowbro to immediately take a nap after it finally gets around to exerting itself. Only Slowbro would do this.
This card is the ultimate example of staying true to the source and the designers have my respect and admiration for taking a mediocre Poke'mon from bad-boring to so-bad-it's-awesome!
Modified: 1 (only being able to attack when your remaining Prizes are not equal to 2, 4 or 6 is enough of a dealbreaker without the other drawbacks as well)
Limited: 1 (80 damage for two energy is tempting, but Slowbro still can't attack until you've already taken a Prize which negates the speed advantage and the self-inflicted Sleep stops consecutive attacks, so you might as well just let the opponent draw a prize)
Combos with: an appreciation for the eccentric and for inspired card design ideas. Incidentally, this may be out first ever card to receive a 1 for every score, just depending on what the others say.

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