Size does matter-Shaddy

Hello ladies and gentlemen,

My name is Shaddy and I want to discuss the once popular, but eventually discarded deck known to be the last option for kids without much financial backing. You may have referred to them as a Mini-beatdown, Clown control, Wimpy-beatdown, Gravity Bind, or simply as a Direct Life Point deck. The idea behind this type of deck, which I shall refer to as Mini-beatdown in general, is to get at your opponent's life points without having to resort to the annoying obstacle of attacking your opponent’s monsters. Now, as far as accomplishing this feat there are some old cards and some pretty darn good new cards that can really make Mini-beatdowns an effect way of winning a duel.

 

Firstly, the monsters we can consider the heavy hitters aren’t really all that big, in fact, in Mini-beatdowns smaller really is better. Some direct attacking monsters are Nightmare Horse, Reaper on the Nightmare, Servant of Catabolism, Jinzo #7, Mystic Lamp, Ooguchi, Leghul, Inaba White Rabbit , and Queen’s Double (All of the Toons can attack you opponent’s life points directly, but Toons will have their day another time). All of these monsters have relatively low attack, about 500, but they do get to bypass the opponent’s monsters. That is unless they have Patrician of Darkness which control’s what you’re attacking, but who in there right mind runs a Zombie deck anyway?

 

Well, now that we have our basic monsters we’ll want to defend these fellas/gals (I’m not really sure what Servant of Catabolism is). For this purpose we’ll put in two Gravity Binds and two Messenger of Peaces. This limits the opponent to having to use level 3 monsters with 1400 attack or less. Let’s say the opponent miraculously summons a Gilasaurus, which happens to be a level 3, 1400 attacking monster. “What do I do? WHAT DO I DO?” First off, calm it. Second, we can equip our monsters with a nice card known as Heart of Clear Water. This allows the equipped monster not to be destroyed as a result of battle, or be killed by any effects that target it. This means your opponent can play Tribute to the Doomed or Ring of Destruction on the monster and although the effect still goes through, the monster stays alive. For more defense we can put in 2 Waboku’s and even a Mirror Force, just in case.

 

Well now, we have our direct attacking monsters and our defense. Now, let’s talk offense. Nothing sucks more than a really bad offense, except perhaps a vacuum, which sucks and blows! Anyway, equips are a beautiful thing. (Say this sentence in a Scottish accent like Scotty from Star Trek) We’ll need to boost our little people until they can be boosted no more! Just equip that Gravity Axe, Axe of Despair, Mask of Brutality, United We Stand, or Mage Power to a Ooguchi and your opponent will cower at Ooguchi’s beautifulwhatever, just equip things that’ll inccrease your direct attacking monsters attack. I would also recommend Blast with Chain. With Gravity Bind and Messenger out they’ll just love to wipe your Magic and Trap Card spaces, but they’re going to hesitate when your Blast with Chair is threatening their monsters, magics, or traps. Another equip that works well with this deck is a card that came out in Dark Crisis. It’s called Rod of the Mind’s Eye. When the equipped monster inflicts battle damage to the opponent the damage becomes 1000. This means your goal is to get 8 attacks through at 1000 a piece (This concept of Yu-Gi-Oh! becoming a game of 8 points is a theory from Camex85@aol.com. He sees the game progressing into damage calculations of 1000 at a time. He sites Magical Scientist, Curse of Darkness, Confiscation, Eye of Truth, and Delinquent Duo to name a few). Speaking on 1000, there’s another equip card from Dark Crisis that allows you to reduce a monster’s attack by 1000, but allows it to attack the opponent’s life points directly, it’s called Shooting Star Bow-Ceal. “Now, Shaddy, are you talking out of your behind again? We’d need a monster with over 1000 attack to use this ‘Shooting Star Bow’ you’re talking about. YOU’RE CRAZY.” Short answer, “yes,” long answer, “no,” with a “but.” Let’s see, we’ll have Messenger of Peace out along with its life partner Gravity Bind. Conceivably, we’d need a monster with 3 stars and 2400 attack to use Shooting Star Bow to its maximum effectunlessthere’s some brokenken card with some really cool effect that’s easy to get and tastes good with whipped cream. Well, I’m not sure about that last part, but Jinzo would be a perfect card to abuse in this Mini-beatdown. He’d be a 1400 direct attacking monster negating traps. Didn’t expect Jinzo in this one, huh? Well, he has to come along with his little brother, Jinzo #7. Also, if you absolutely must have Airnight Parshath in your deck, Shooting Star Bow allows you to get that attack every turn, and you can also equip him with Heart of Clear Water afterwards for a longer lasting freshness. If you want, there’s a card from Pharonic Guardian called Secret Passage to the Treasures. You select a monster with 1000 attack or less and for that turn they can attack direct. Just an option should you need it. From Labyrinth of Nightmare there was this short print common trap called Collected Power. You get to equip a monster with all equip magic cards on the field. This means, you can equip Servant of Catobolism with Blast with Chains, Axe of Despairs, and what-have-you and attack with himherit!, !, then shift all of those equip magics to another direct attacker and attack with the same equips for mucho damage. And for those of you questioning doing this with Blast with Chain, it becomes a magic card after it’s equippedthat’s right, Jinzo can’t stop the boost if itt’s equipped.

 

Well, it was inevitable, we’re going to have to talk about other cards like Jinzo and Airnight, which will compliment the other cards in this Mini-Beatdown. You can put in Dream Clowns for more control, works under Gravity Bind and Messenger of Peace. Sangan and Witch a must, Cyber Jar to get the little ones out en masse, and don’t be too strict to attacking.  The burn aspect of a Mini-beatdown is just as important as it’s attack-based one. Lava Golem will keep the opponent occupied while Gravity Bind and Messenger point and laugh. Also, Invasion of Chaos came out with a rare card that would be perfect for this deck. Drillago is a machine that loves to drill his way to your opponent’s lifepoints. He also likes mocha lattes and long walks on the beach. He has 4 stars and 1600 attack. You’re probably wondering, “Yo, Shaddy! What’s up with Drillago, you didn’t mention him before. What’s up with that?” Well, unidentified person, his effect limits him to only being able to attack when your opponent has a monster with over 1600 attack on their side of the field. You could get out Golem, then wait, summon Drillago, and Waboku your way to victory. Also, you can use Nightmare Wheel on Golem and still attack with Drillago. For that end game finisher, you’ll find that taking out your opponents last few life points can be the hardest. Don’t take that crap, put in a Ceasefire and a Minor Goblin Official for some final damage.

 

I’ve left something out, can you find it? Find the thing I left out and you’ll earn one point.

Catch me at Shaddymaze@aol.com or speak really loudly into the computer screen...seriously.

Zombie’s!