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The Doofy Discard-Inhibitor Deck - By the Doofy Deck
The tournament I played at was the DCI sanctioned type
II tournament at the
Scottish Rite's Temple, on March 18, 2001 in Sacramento,
This deck I just had an urge to play.
Perhaps it was the fact that I only had one Type II deck
at the time of the
This deck I actually had built a while back, as a little
more of an
That went over about as good as the Backstreet Boys
playing at Ozz-fest!
I mean, the sideboard was great, I couldn't have asked
for any better cards
for a sideboard. I know this is a little bit unorthodox,
but I'll give
you the sideboard before the deck.
3 High Seas (Kavu Decks worst nightmare!)
2 Perish (We HATE green!)
2 Insight (We really HATE green!)
1 Deepwood Legate (We absolutely despize green!)
1 Saprazzan Legate (Free when you control a mountain)
1 Castle (Burn Protection)
2 Chill (Why not!)
1 Spiritual Focus (When I discard, I draw!)
1 Warmth (Gotta get the life! Changes to Sancimony when
7th comes out.)
1 Waterfront Bouncer (Sproing!)
While it is large, it is good. The problem was
when I drew part of the
sideboard in the second or third games, it made no
difference because guess
what .. I was either going to win ,or going to lose. I
was either about to
smuther the other player, or about to be smuthered to
the point where it
wouldn't have made a difference!
Okay, now you get the deck. You may admire my
deck, and feel free to laugh
and send me e-mail's exclaiming, "You play THAT!
No one plays THAT!"
The Doofy Discard Deck
2 Meddling Mage
4 Abyssal Specter
4 Stormscape Apprentice
2 Teferi's Moat
Instants and Sorceries (25)
4 Accumulated Knowledge
3 Fact or Fiction
2 Wash Out
4 Snuff Out
2 Salt Marsh
1 Coastal Tower
2 Adakar Waste
This deck is a sort of cross. It's control, with
discard, with bounce. A
nice combo, but hard to get to work. Plays where
the Stormscaper's are big,
as well as Snuff Out.
Other than that, it doesn't take a genius to play this
deck. I should know
this because I'm a doofy teenager!
Now, I know this deck has flaws in it that my deck
building skills just
can't fix, so, before I went to the tournament, the
Friday before, I went to
Comics & Comix in Citrus Heights to play test it and
get some help from my
The last thing I did before I left there was get his
advise, so going into
the Scottish Rights Temple on Sunday my deck was not
tested one bit.
I knew about how it played, and that was it.
Okay, now on to Sunday.
It was rough, and it was hard! Man, No one's debut
Tournament should be
that rough, a 1-2 over all in the games, and 2-5 total
in the matches.
A sad performance, for a coincidentailly sad deck, but
who's counting? I'm
not. I went to gain the experience by being
annilated. Or to annihlate,
which ever happened first.
Okay, the forward is over, now for the games.
Game 1 - My deck vs. the Counter-Rebel Deck
A clear abuse of the cards Lin Sivvi and Counterspell.
The way the game went, I could hold on, but by turn
three it was clear that
I couldn't win. Another reason to the loss is
because of the way the Rebel
ability goes off. I couldn't kill the Linn Sivvi
without that ability going
off and something like a Jhovall Queen coming out.
A clear slaughter, despite the fact that he went through
all 4 Lin Sivvi's
in the game.
I'm now 0-1 in the games.
Game two was even less of a challege.
Folks, let's get one thing straight. A
counter-rebel deck will win at
Worlds, and I wouldn't be surprised if that kid wins it.
His deck in the
second game was extremely obnoxious and annoying.
There just weren't enough
Snuff Out's to go around!
Lin Sivvi lead to Lin Sivvi, then to Jhovall Queen and
Ramosian Sky Marsial.
I had one chance, a Teferi's Moat late in the game, and
a Snuff Out on the
Sky Marshial. The Snuff Out goes through, but he
Absorbs the Teferi's Moat
like a sponge.
I went 0-2, and lost the match.
I wasn't demoralized, so much as I was angered. I
want all of you to help
me go on a tyraid to bann Lin Sivvi. That card is
abused a little too much.
Heck, if they can do that to Time Spiral and Tolarian
Academy, then they
should do that to Lin Sivvi.
Match II - Me and the Saproling deck.
GHame one was a surprise defeat for me.
I literally was facing the epitome of inexperience - the
kid comes out with
a deck that's about eighty cards, and we beat on each
other through out the
He plays the Grove Guardian (Nemata), and I Snuff it
out, that is not until
after he swings for four (for reference, and I hate this
swinging is attacking. It's cheesy, and I usually
don't use it, but it's
popular here in Sacramento).
I beat on him with a Meddling Mage, of all cards, and he
Pyrotechnics it, as
well as TWO of my Apprentices. This turned out to
be the major difference
in the game, because on the next turn, a Raging Goblin
goes from your normal
1/1, to a hefty 6/6 with an explosive growth, and it was
coincidence that my life was at 6.
Okay, I'm 0-3, big deal.
Game two was in my favor, because this kids deck was
Red, Green, and White.
Oooo, this was looking good!
All my red/green sideboard went into the deck, in
exchange for a few cards,
those being the Meddling Mages and a few other
You know something, I didn't see any of it until it was
clear I was going to
win. I got the Abyssal Specter out early, and it
was smooth sailing from
Rith got Snuffed out.
Nemata got bounced.
And the only damge that got through was a Verdeloth that
got played through
Other than that, I walloped him, far and square.
My venting though was not
finsihed. The moment between Games 2 and 3 was
only the eye of the storm.
I'm now 1-3, and had gained new hope for my deck.
Game three was particularly fun for me. Again,
another stomping, because he
saw all of two land cards in the first 10 draw steps,
that with one little
Sandstone Needle in his hand.
How do I know that, because everytime he drew a land, he
played it. I was
jusat starting to capitalize when the game was settled -
He played Citadel
>From there on, I was in absolute control - He was
taking three to four
damage a turn for his untapped land, mostly because he
couldn't to play
anything else. On the other hand, I found ways to
tap out, mostye through
not playing anymore land. I had five down, and
could tap out easily with a
Stormscape Apprentice and some form of four casting cost
He last hope went to the graveyard, and this was the fun
part for me - I
could tap out and Snuff out his Rith, or take one damage
and Perish it.
Keep in mind Rith was the only Green creature out there.
In the end, it
doesn't matter what I did, because not seconds later he
was dead from his
own card, and I won my first match in an official
I was now 2-3, and on cloud nine. You know
something, I should have known I
would meet some sort of strange deck like my next
Match #3 against the deck of almost all rares.
This was one of those odd games.
This kid was playing a deck for which I felt I saw not
one common or
uncommon other than basic land. The first game was
a rather fast one: I
made a mistake on an Addle and put his Hammer in the
graveyard over a
Please, don't tell me how dumb I was, I wasn't thinking
because that's what
cloud nine does to you.
He played the Blazing Specter, and started poking me.
I matched his blazing
specter with an Abyssal Specter, only to watch it get
burnt by that Hammer.
The game was short, and rather uneventful - He beat me
hands down off of the
stupidest mistake of all time.
I was now 2-4, and still up for another game, but this
was knowing that even
if I did win the next two games, the best I could do was
You know what, if I made the play-offs, I'd be playing
deck again! He was next to me, and had mowed down
a Blue/White Control
If I got in, I'd have been the fourth place, the lowest.
He would have been
numero uno. Do you think I would have had a
I did, at least I did at the time, so I gave the next
game my all, hoping
for the chance at a play off birth.
No such luck. Game two went almost the exact same
way - Blazing Specter and
this time, instead of Hammer kill ing me, Hammer killed
my Meddling Mage,
which lead to a Skizzik, which the Meddling Mage had
prevented, and a hammer
for the final finisher.
I was absolutely powerless, and the game was over by
A sad way to finish, 2-5 and hopelessly beaten on all
fronts by the "deck of
In the end, I came away with no prize, but some good
trade and new fun
cards. I got my Tolaria, and a German Beta
Prodigal Sorcerer (Timmy!).
In the end, I have some props and slops to hand out.
Props to each of my competitors. They were all
good sports, and made the
experience fun for me. Props as well to the Vendor
who ran the tournament,
he was nice and his booth had all the good stuff.
Props as well to my
friend Derrick, who was not at the tournament unfortunately.
His wife just had a baby boy, and, while I may be only
16, he's in his 20's,
just to clear any misunderstandings up.
More props to some of my Pokémon playing friends, Janet
and Lesley. They
went 3rd and 4th in a rather tough field, and they were
perhaps the only
really good sports there too.
Slops to all the other vendors. What kind of
Convention is this! Only one
booth had Magic singles, or at least a substantial
amount. Slops to the
Pokémon players as well! I may be a former Pokémon
player and all, but I
like Magic better. And these kids had the audacity
to treat the magic
players like we were the ones playing Pokémon!
Especially me for leaving
Who do they think they are, let alone what gives them
the right to do that!
The last comment I have to get across before I sign out
is this: in light
of these Pokémon players, and I know this is sappy and
all, but we are all
humans, not wax dolls. Let's keep our rude calls
John Hornberg, the Doofy Deck Builder
P.S. - I can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org
for comments, and be
ware that the Doofy deck Builder rersponds to all
comments in his mail box.