Top 10 Most Useless Cards - by Exploding Pidgeons

Hey all, it's my second submission to the Duel Masters page. ^_^ Good times, good times.......
 
Since I do not have many of the actual cards, I'm using the card texts 
from the Base Set Spoiler on pojo.com. If one of the card text's is WRONG, 
then dont yell at me about it, because I'm 
trusting that the Spoiler is 100% accurate in it's card text. I apologize 
if I got the text of a card wrong, but it isn't my fault.
 
Anyways, today I'm about to unleash the wrath of , what I think are, the 10 
most useless cards in 
the game. Keep in mind these are only cards that I think are horrible, you might not 
have the same opinion. But moving on, here's what I think........
 
(10) IMMORTAL BARON, VORG / WRITHING BONE GHOUL / BURNING MANE ,etc. : 
It seems every Civilization has one of these..........They cost 2 mana and they only have a power of 2000. 
No effect, either. I mean, how crappy is that? Who would play these? I'm definitely not one of them. 
I only have about 60 cards, but I have enough ones that are better than these cards to where 
I'm not forced to use them. You should ONLY run these cards if you have nothing better available. 
Period.
 
(9) SWAMP WORM / STORM SHELL: This things are just WAY too expensive. 7 mana for a mere 2000-power 
creature that only kills off one monster is much too taxing on your resources. Blah. At least the 
Fire version of this card, Meteosaur, costs 2 less mana....Then again, it's effect is limited to killing 
creatures of 2000 power or less.......But anyway, anyone can look at this card and tell that it's 
a bad card. Storm Shell is slightly worse than Swamp Worm, since it gives the opponent a free mana, 
but BOTH are ultra-crappy. Just dont use them, I beg you. You'll be happier if you dont......Not to mention they're 
pretty ugly cards, arent they?
 
(8) ASTROCOMET DRAGON: I've got some serious beef with this dude. I mean, he's a frickin' Super 
Rare, and he costs 8 friggin' mana, and all we get is a 3000-power creature that even a 
Draglide can mow down without any problem, and all he does is kill off Blockers. I mean, seriously. 
Who in their right mind would ever run this thing.....I suppose it's good for meta-game if Light 
decks are played heavily in your area, but c'mon. What a piece of junk. The main problem is that 
it's a pretty rare card, but all you get for being lucky and pulling a Super Rare in a pack is, 
well, THIS. I'd rather have even an Aqua Sniper than this card. (Not to mention that Aqua Sniper 
is one of my favorite cards)
 
If I get a Super Rare, I want it to be a Deathliger, Lion of Chaos or something good like that. 
This would be a disappointment to pull in a pack. Use it for trade bait, there are plenty of people who 
would like to have this card. It's rare, it's shiny, ehh, people want it. I'm not one of them, though. ^^;;
 
(7) MASKED HORROR, SHADOW OF SCORN: Okay, so we pay 5 mana for 1000 and discard a card from the opponent's 
hand.........Now, normally, Hand-Destruction cards are a good thing. But NOT for 5 mana.........And not 
when you could just cast Ghost Touch for 2 mana. I guess for the limited amount of 
Hand-D out right now in the Base Set, this card might see some play if you're looking to shut down the 
opponent's Card Advantage, but PLEASE!! -_- Just think it through.....1000-power creatures are at the 
rock-bottom of power. ANYTHING can mow over a 1000-power creature. ANYTHING. I mean, at least Bronze-Arm 
Tribe has a good effect. But THIS thing is just too much......Dont use it, please. It's 
a big mistake.
 
(6) TOEL, VIZIEL OF HOPE: Oh dear......We pay 5 mana for a weak little Light monster that doesnt even 
have Blocker, and it can untap all our creatures at the end of our turn. Boy, how useful is that? Man, I know 
that I will be using it's effect a lot.......Can you sense my sarcasm? Good, then I'm doing something 
right. What a horrible card. It brings the Light Civilization to shame. The name certainly doesnt suit it, either.....It 
doesnt exactly fill me with "hope".....Some might argue that it protects your big creatures and is 
therefore deserving of being off this list, blah blah blah. WHO CARES!! 

Opponent: Ha! I have Toel, Viziel of Hope, and untap all my creatures during my turn! My shields are safe! 
It's foolproof! Nothing can stop me now! All of your creatures will run straight into my Urth Elemental!! BWA HAHA!!

Me: That's nice. I play Holy Awe and attack your shields. I win.

Opponent: Nooooooooooooooooo....

I mean, the opponent's monsters are tapped. Big deal. I'll get out my King Depthcon and head straight 
for your shields. *Nyah nyah!*
 
(5) PANGEA'S SONG: Wow. Spend one mana to get another mana. The only way I could ever see this card 
doing anyone any good is if you used it on Bronze-Arm Tribe. Then you'd get 2 extra mana in one turn. 
Nice,eh? Of course, there really isn't much use besides that. Overall, pretty useless......Although 
not as useless as the next 4. 
^^;;
 
(4) KING CORAL: Oh wow. 3 mana for a 1000 power creature with Blocker. I'll sure be running this thing 
in my Water deck. -_- What geniuses up in the WotC creativity department dreamed up this little bundle of 
joy? With a name like "King Coral", you'd think it'd be a little bigger and have more of an effect.....
 
(3) AURA BLAST: I absolutely LOATHE this card. It's like Burning Power except 3 mana more expensive 
and it affects all your creatures.........I dont know about the rest of you, but I rarely ever have more than 3 
creatures out at one time. So it doesnt even even out. (notice that I have two words right next to 
each other.....) The art is cool, too bad the card sucks.......I guess since Green is good at getting 
mana out fast, it doesnt 
matter THAT much that it's expensive, and if you're running a Swarm strategy it could actually be 
quite useful, but I still dont like it. It's probably not as bad as I make it out to be, but I 
reaaaaaally dont like it, so I'm putting it on here. =D
 
(2) DARK RAVEN, SHADOW OF GRIEF: 4 mana for a 1000-power Blocker. I guess defense is 
so rare in Black that it's ridiculously expensive. How horrifying. At least it's not COMPLETELY 
useless......Oh 
wait, maybe it is....Never mind. The bottom line is: WHY NOT JUST USE WANDERING BRAIN-EATER?? THAT 
one costs 2 mana less and has 1000 more power. It's just common sense to use that one instead of this 
piece of junk. Who came up with this card?? Man, I just dont get it.......On another note, it seems 
that all the 
"Shadow" cards really suck. :\ Has anyone else noticed that?
 
(1) MARINE FLOWER: Blue sure doesnt have many good cards from what I can see........So, we pay 2 
mana for a 1000-power creature with NO EFFECT. Excuse me.
 
*goes into a corner and pukes*
 
Okay, now that I'm done showing my disgust, WHO up at WotC was half-asleep when they made up this 
piece of CRAP. "Marine FLOWER"?? It's a flower!! Is it supposed to be good? Apparently not. 
The whole idea is just horrible. At least they should give it a good effect, but nooooooo, it 
doesnt even HAVE an effect. -_- Gaaaaaaaah, if someone 
could explain the insanity of making cards like this, I would be glad to hear it. No one in their 
right mind would EVER use this card EVER. I just dont get it. What a piece of JUNK. The most useless 
card I have ever seen. It even costs 
double the mana for it's power!! Why not just play something like La Ura Giga for ONE mana and 
have a 2000-power 
Blocker?? I'm just SO stumped at this card...........Someone please explain this to me. I'm 
dying over here, really. Bleah.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Well there you have it. My "Top 10 Most Useful Cards" are coming soon! ^_^ So watch for that, 
kiddies! E-mail me if you want to say anything........I have a bad feeling I'm going to get a 
lot of mail about this, just a hunch, but anyway, I would just like to say before I go that 
these are only my opinions. It's not like they're fact or anything. If I think a card's crappy, that 
doesnt necessarily mean that it IS, in fact, crappy. It's just what I think. ^^;;
 
Peace in!
 
~Exploding Pidgeons~
E-mail: explodingpidgeons@juno.com
***I will ALWAYS E-mail you back!***
 
P.S. And PLEASE dont E-mail me if all you have to say is "every card has a purpose, blah blah blah". If you can give me a 
"purpose" for Marine Flower, then tell me. I really want to hear how cards like THAT have a purpose in one's deck.