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Kai’s New Toys and What it Entails

No Kagero for a year and now this. Saikyo examines if it was worth the wait.

I waited with baited breath on this one when it was first announced. As you should probably know, once G Booster 3 hit our shelves last year it was basically one long-ass drought of fuck nothing for Kagero, apart from some token archetype support that was kind of shit-biscuits, but that all changes with a new Legend deck hitting shelves later this week. Yes, I guess it supports a deck that’s now about as old as the decaying remains of Boudicca’s body, but fuck it, I’ll take it as long as it’s generic enough and it supports Overlords AKA the only Kagero deck that matters.

Now, I wasn’t expecting this to be a boatload of broken cardboard, the last Legend deck certainly wasn’t, but I had it on reasonable authority that any changes to it would be pretty minor, which is kind of the selling point of a Legend deck, apart from the stupid-ass bling and any promos it has. Talking of which, if you want any copies of the Ace, buy at least one, since each purchase nabs you two the Ace. Or maybe you can scrounge off the fuckers who chose to buy 4 just to bling up their deck, the rich-ass cunts.

Now, there are a few clones of Ren’s cards in here, being that the starting Vanguard’s pretty much the same, and the Perfect Guard is EXACTLY the same, except it doesn’t even have the advantage of archetype name, the fucking thing, but even so there are advantages that Kai’s deck has over Ren’s. First of all, you get 6 G-Units, not including promos, rather than 4. That gives your deck much deserved bite for longer games. Throw in the Ace and that’s a full G-Zone right there. Second is speed. Yes, it’s GB1, same as Ren’s deck, but unlike Ren who’s only way of field cleaning for more calling was Diablo, retiring can be spammed more readily. And cleanly too, given we have 4 counterchargers in this deck. So this can start doing its shit sooner. And lastly, the flavour of G-Units. Vortex Desire makes the GB2 of the Legend (which incidentally sucks much less than Blaster Dark Diablo’s) live instantly. I mean sure, both Diablo’s GB2 and the Legend’s means no Stride means no fun, but every little helps. What’s great about it is that unlike Ren, you’re not forced to fluff a G-Unit’s skill to get your Generation Break online, so your main finisher, Nouvelle Vague L’express goes off precisely when you want to.

What’s kind of disappointing though is that as much as Nouvelle Vague 2: Vague harder is a good G-Unit, what I wanted was something that could work to compliment a 2-attack gambit. I thought “The Legend” was going to grant a G-Unit another attack after attacking a rear-guard or something, which made sense given Tahr 2: Revelations and Berserk 2: The Berserking. Nope, all the non-promo G-Units only focus on getting one attack. Well, what the hell’s all that about then? I mean, at least Blaster Dark had some synergy with Phantom Blaster, you know?

I’m assuming that they want you to sit on Overlord the Legend and use his GB2 to basically bollock enemy rear-guards, but here’s the problem I have. It assumes that you have the cost to Stride in your hand. In that instance, would you rather kill a rear-guard and then get Perfect Guarded, or drop Vague and watch the opponent destroy their hand in 0s and threaten insta-death with Heal-seal and 3 chances at a Critical Trigger? Soft advantage tends to go further as you ought to know by now. Unless you absolutely need Nehalem 2: Return to Kai for whatever reason. Or you just like speeding through 3 cards at a time to obtain a +1, you fucking loon.

Actually, that reminds me. The Legend’s skill didn’t make a lot of sense to me. It searches Flame Dragons. And rather annoyingly, since this deck is designed to wear nostalgia in much the same way a crispy duck wears a pancake, it’s made up of Kai’s old units, a lot of which are rather pointedly NOT Flame Dragons. Not the Perfect Guards, not Nehalem, not Bahr, Tahr, Conroe, or Monica and none of your triggers, which basically leaves only 11 possible targets for your deck. So yes, for the most optimal use of this you’ll have to mash it with G Support for the generic decks, like your Lava Flows and Protect Orbs, which ARE Flame Dragons and makes the Legend actually worth using at 4 copies. Taking it a stage further, I dug up my Mother Orb Dragons and whatever other Flame Dragon Critical Triggers I had lying around in anticipation for this. I mean you never know when chance will completely and utterly fuck you in the eye, right? Actually that’s not a good phrase, I have never heard of anyone literally sticking their dick in someone’s eye socket…BUT ANYWAY.

Of course for people who give a shit about doing well, of course you’ll be looking to mash this with an existing Overlord deck for best results. As the resident best Kagero player among the writers for Pojo (of which there’s only one, therefore best) what can I recommend? Strap in, because I’m going to assume you either grabbed the pieces beforehand and/or have a lot of money and connections for the rest. Bahr and probably one of the Nehalems can be lost for Burnout. Careful now, these new GB1 cards use soul, so it’s precious. Obviously grab Lava Flow and Protect Orbs for max the Legend efficiency and lose Monica and Aermo, appropriately. Replace all of your Triggers with as many Flame Dragon ones as you can (I’m using Blue-Ray Dracokid, Magnum Shot Dracokid, Mother Orb Dragon, and Jannat, because I still run 1 Blademaster and free soul is good). Basically, I just converted my existing Overlord deck into the same deck with a different hat; dropped Gojo for Conroe, Twilight Arrow for Berserk, Nehalem for…other Nehalem, and Mahmud for Vortex Desire. Oh yeah, and lost Root Flare for Vague, given Magia, Hollow and whatever else, I needed more independent finishers and I had Zahm to bomb fields already. Or at least I WAS, then Bushi announced I could have both. The fucking pricks.

So all in all, it works, and as long as you had a decently good ability to predict the future, it shouldn’t be hard to use the new toys in this pack. Because that’s essentially what Kagero players will buy it for: to cherry pick the best stuff from it and then just leave the rest of it to rot. As for the fresh new faces, sure, this is a good foot in the door to Kagero. I just hope you’re prepared to sob out of your cum-stained eyes when you see the mono-shiny decks other people have. Which run Burnouts.

Tell me that your wife’s fetish actually is you regularly inserting penises in her eyeballs at saikyocardfighter@outlook.com