Yo Pojo

Now these are the cards which you should never see in a deck. They are the cards that make you ask WHY? Why were they created? To fill folders, albums, and booster packs? Because WOTC have to follow rules where there a maximum number of playable cards they can put in each set? Or maybe because they want to see our faces fall when we pull yet another useless card from that booster. I don't know, but I can guarantee that in this set, each previous set, and all sets to come after this, there will be useless unplayable cards. So without further introduction, here we go.

At #13, we have a pointless card. This card is certainly not unplayable, it just isn't very useful. In most decks it would just take up space, and serve no real purpose. Well, let's see. You flip over a prize, and guess whether it is a trainer, pokemon, or energy card. Ok, in most decks you could take a good punt that it would be a trainer. So you get to draw 2 cards then, or maybe not if it happens to be something else. This card either lets you look at one of your prizes, or look at one of your prizes AND draw 2 cards. But there is not really much point at looking at one of your prizes anyway (at least not worth wasting card space in your deck for this), and Bill can fulfil the other part of the deal. So although interesting, this card is not really that good, and is mainly there to sit in folders. It only rates #13 because it is not entirely useless, just not particularly useful.

Oh, please stay away! I mean, one pokedex was enough, but do we really NEED another one? The one positive point of this card, is that it isn't a rare. Phew. Maybe WOTC had sobered up a little when they made this card. Or maybe not. Let me compare this to the base card, Pokedex. Hang on, they are exactly the same! I mean, ok with one you shuffle your deck first. Yippee. That sure makes a lot of difference, doesn't it? Of course, for all you honest players out there, this makes absolutely no difference at all. But for those of you who like to shuffle the cards you need (wigglies/removals/oaks/CPUs etc) to the top of your deck, this is your lucky day. Other than that, this card is ultimately useless unless you play a bill or other card drawing mechanism after it. And if you can't, it is most likely that your opponent is going to have something to make you shuffle your deck during their turn (RSA in many places, Lass or Sabrina's Gaze or something). Either way, the effect is lost. And people, just one thing, a card tip if you want to call it that. And don't laugh, I HAVE seen someone do this. NEVER, and I mean NEVER EVER EVER EVER play this card followed by a Nightly Garbage Run. Just DON'T, ok? Good, now we have that out of the way, I can move on to something else. Overall, this card is not the worst in Neo, and that is why it rates relatively low down the list. This card is kind of playable, although a waste of space in most good decks.

Yes, I know, another trainer, but the trainers are not as bad as the pokemon to come. Well, I must say, it is about time one of the fishing rods got transferred to the TCG. Unfortunately, WOTC have succeeded in making it pretty bad. I mean, why couldn't it be "Search your deck for a Water Pokemon and put it into your hand"? Wouldn't that be more appropriate? Anyway, enough about that, let's look at the card. You can take a pokemon card from your discard pile and put it into your hand. Good, right? Well, not bad, but the problem is WHAT pokemon card it is. This card becomes useless half the time in haymaker decks, and decks with few evolution cards. Even in evolution decks though, it is not very good. First of all, it is likely that the card you want (unless you happen to want either an evolution or basic pokemon) is not what you are going to get. If you want that Meganium, then there is a 50% chance you are going to end up with a Chikorita instead, and vice versa. So that is what effectively makes this card useless, the coin flip factor. Oh well, it is only a common card so you can't expect much, and that is why it rates quite low on this list.

#10 Heracross

This is not a totally useless card, however it is not really a playable one either, at least not when you want to win.

HP                        60
Retreat                  2
Weakness            Fire
Resistance           None

60 HP is not bad for a basic pokemon, however the retreat cost of 2 is going to slow this card down. Two is quite a lot for a 60 HP pokemon, and the weakness is standard.
So we are looking at 60 damage for 3 grass energies, what's so bad about that? Once again, WOTC have prevented a card being good by one simple line: "Flip a coin, if tails this attack does nothing". Put simply, this sucks. And the pokemon power, although useful, is not going to make much difference as this pokemon is probably usually going to find itself taken out in one hit. However, when a Focus Band is attached, this could be useful, but for 3 energies of one colour you expect a little more than a 50% attack. Really, this card just provides another excuse for Clefable to have some fun.

Rating: 4/10 (Not bad, although probably not playable in a tourney environment)

#9 Lugia

Well, looking at those statistics you may wonder how this card got here. The 90 HP is fantastic for a basic pokemon, and 2 retreat cost is standard when you have HP like that. A weakness to psychic is standard for psychic pokemon, and it has the same resistance of all flying pokemon.
So why is it rated so low? Well, let me begin. You need THREE DIFFERENT types of energy to use this attack! Three different types! Not only that, but you have to DISCARD one of each of those three types to USE the attack! That is a Nightly Garbage Run's worth EACH turn you attack! Ok, you do 90 damage for 3 energies, but the only time this pokemon could be good is when you have one prize left, not to mention the fact that you are probably gonna need a minimum of 15/18 energy cards in your deck just for this pokemon. Of course, you could attack with it and then scoop it up, but let's be realistic, it is still a waste of energy and deck space. Players seem to have trouble getting 2 energies of the same type on a pokemon in today's Energy Removal dominated environment, let alone THREE of different types! Of course, there is always rainbow energy, but this does 10 damage to your Lugia, and also has to be discarded just like all the basic types. And do I even need to mention Clefable bait? So overall, this is a one-shot pokemon, unless you happen to be able to build 6 energies on it at once. It has VERY limited use in decks, and that is why it is part of this list. So all you Lugia-lovers out there can now e-mail me and tell me how wrong I am, but at least I have had my say as to why I think it belongs in this place. I know some others of you will think that it should be closer to #1, but please if that is all you are going to say then don't e-mail me.

Geez. That little Sunkern sure takes a lot of pulling to dislodge it from the ground! 40 HP and 2 retreat cost pretty much sum up this pokemon. 40 HP is never good for a basic pokemon, but a retreat cost of TWO means that this little seed is here to stay. There are very few cases where the Stage 1 has less retreat cost than the Basic Pokemon, unless when you look at say Persian or Rapidash. Sunflora looks a little better, although the 70 HP is not brilliant for a Stage 1, but at least it retreats easier. Neither of these pokemon is strong on attack.
Sunkern has 2 attacks. Growth is not bad, although once again that cursed coin flip means you do nothing half the time. If you can get growth to work, it could be good if you can slap down a Sunflora turn 2. But you still have to have 3 grass energy in your hand to take full advantage of this attack (one attach, 2 from attack). Perhaps you could get three grass energies turn 2, then slap on another one to energy transfer to Venusaur and deal 60 on turn two. Or perhaps not. Mega Drain, like many grass attacks, removes damage counters from Sunkern, but with 40 HP it is gonna get taken out easily anyway. Sunflora also has attacks that are common among grass pokemon, with a petal dance doing a maximum of 90 damage, but with an average of 30 or 60 damage. This is a reasonable attack, except for the fact that Sunflora gets confused after doing damage. Most decks are not going to have room for full heals or switches (and full heal energy is a waste on a pokemon that requires all grass energy), so perhaps you would just have to *gulp* put your faith in the coin for this one. Of course Sunflora is very prone to energy removals, and 70 HP is not going to last long against sneasel and/or wigglies. Overall, these are not the very worst cards in Neo, but they are still bad enough to make the top 10.

70 HP. That magical number, the number that all BASIC pokemon aspire to. Not Stage 2's. By that second stage of evolution, you expect a little more than 70 HP. A retreat cost of 2 is not bad, and the weakness to fire is pretty standard among grass pokemon.
Well, it must have some good attacks then, to make up for the less-than-good HP. Sorry, not this time. One grass energy, and remove all damage counters from one of your pokemon, but only 50% of the time. If this was a pokemon power, Bellossom would be broken, but it is an attack, and half the time it does nothing. But if your opponent isn't doing much damage, then perhaps this could be useful. Second Attack, 2 grass and a colourless energy, you deal 30 damage times the number of vileplume in play. Hey COOL! 120 damage for 3 energy! Nope. The maximum number of oddishes you can have in your deck is 4, and seeing as one is taken up by Bellossom, you can only do a maximum of 90 damage. So all you need is 4 Stage 2 pokemon to deal 90 damage a turn. Err....yeah..... Plus all these evolution cards are going to take up space in your deck, plus other basics (you DO need more than 4 oddishes in a deck). Remember also, that 70 HP makes it vulnerable to Wigglies, Sneasels, and other pokemon which can deal damage for few energy. Three energy to deal damage also makes it prone to Energy Removals, and pretty much most decks are gonna take this out with ease (or gust and ko that oddish, as most people will suspect Dark Plume the second they see an oddish). So really, this card serves very little purpose, and requires a great deal of luck to ever work (if that oddish is in the prizes......)

Well, what do we have here? Another useless card, and this one is RARE, that being just one of the pitfalls of this card. It looks good, like a super Nightly Garbage Run, until you read a few certain lines: "Both Players". Ugh. This immediately devalues this card. You are helping your opponent to not deck, while at the same time helping yourself. Nightly Garbage Run suddenly looks a whole lot better. "Until the end of your opponent's next turn, you may not play any trainer cards". Excuse me? This looks familiar. Hmmm......haven't I seen this text on both Pokegear and Professor Elm? WOTC obviously wanted to find some way to prevent these cards from being playable, and thought that this was the most effective. Well, they have done a good job. Professor Elm is still good despite the drawback, but Time Capsule? No, it is wrong. The time when most people play a Nightly Garbage Run is before they Oak, and with Time Capsule you can't do that. You would have to plan one turn in advance before Oaking, and also, it HELPS your opponent. You DON'T want to do that. The only time this card could be better than a Nightly Garbage Run is where you have only a few energy or pokemon cards in your hand, you only have a few cards left in your deck and your opponent has heaps, and you need a few more turns to build up something powerful to crush your opponent. Other than that, don't use it, just stick in those Garbage Runs instead. Seeing as this card is rare, you may not want to mutilate it too badly, perhaps you can trade those spare Time Capsules for some nice rares, or twink out the no trainer part and sell it to some little kids.....

Well, they don't look too bad from those stats. The 50 and 70 HP are ok, and the retreat costs are reasonable, although not outstanding. And a standard weakness and resistance to fighting and psychic respectively. Snubbull is weak to a lot of attacks, and hitmonchan with a pluspower ko's it. Other than that, it probably isn't going to last very long even if your opponent does not play fighting pokemon. But the attacks are where these 2 pokemon really hit rock bottom.
Roar. Ok, it would be GOOD if it was like a gust of wind. But it isn't. Your opponent gets to CHOOSE which pokemon they bring out, and you have to flip a coin, doing nothign half the time. This attack begins to make base gastly look better. And 2 Colourless energy for 10 and possible paralyse. Hmmmm....somehow a TR dratini flashes through my mind. Somehow, I don't think you want to waste a double colourless energy on this pokemon anyway. On to Granbull. It looks ugly (DON'T send me hatemail if you don't agree with this), and its attacks really are not very good. A double colourless for 20 damage looks ok, and at least is better than the attack on Snubbull. And for 3 energy, a rage attack, doing a maximum of 70 damage. With Focus Band, this could be good, seeing as you will be left on 60 damage half the time, right? WRONG. This attack deals 20 damage to yourself. How pathetic. That means that if you DO have a Focus Band, you might not take yourself out, but it is most likely that your opponent will next turn. If you don't want to take out Granbull when you use this attack, then you are looking at 50 damage instead of 70, and this will still leave you a sitting duck (err...dog) for a ko next turn. Overall this attack is NOT good, and I highly recommend something like a Tauros instead. These 2 pokemon were not very good in g/s, and have been made into bad cards also. But hey? Every set has cards like these, and you might even get lucky and trade a Granbull for a Neo Electabuzz.......

Well, another pointless card. By this point, you are probably getting qiute used to them. Again I ask, WHY? And you tell me this is a RARE? I would rather pull any other card from my booster than this. Ok, you look at the top 3 cards of your deck. If 2 are the same, then you get to keep all of them. BIG WOW! Why not use Bill, or Mary, or Erika? Or ANYTHING, but why this? Unless you happened to play some deck with a whole heap of energy (like Blaine's Magmar), it is VERY unlikely that 2 of the cards will be the same. And with Blaine's Magmar, you don't even WANT the fire energy in your hand!!! And I repeat, this is a RARE? Once again, you get the idea that WOTC almost have a need to put a certain amount of useless rares in each set, just so people will have to buy more boosters to get the cards they want. Perhaps a good marketing ploy, but really, this card sucks. Don't use it. If you want card drawing, try Oak, Bill, Erika, Mary, Blaine's Quizes even, just NOT this card.

At first, this looks like a really cool card. A Master Ball for Trainer cards, right? WRONG. Read the fine print people. I struggle to find different ways to express this, but WHY? Why did they need to add ONE little line to this card, to make it completely useless? After playing it, you cannot play any more trainers this turn! So you can't even play the trainer you got with it! Again, it appears that WOTC were in an altered state of mind when creating this card, as I personally cannot think of anything more pointless. This card is NOT good. I mean, if you are going to play it, you have to play it at the end of your turn, so you don't have any other trainers to play before you attack. But to be honest, the only thing this card does is take up deck space. You would be better off adding more of the trainers you would usually use this card to get, than this card itself. And having only this card and an Oak in your hand is kind of like Lass and Oak or Chaos Gym and Oak - one of them has gotta go. Anyone who chooses Pokegear above Oak might want to look into a new hobby. And it is a RARE! WOTC have certainly outdone themselves with useless rares in this set.
I think it is fair to say that this card certainly deserves the rating it is given.

Let me see, these stats look familiar. Yes, they are almost identical to that of base Electabuzz. The 70 HP is good, so is the retreat cost, the weakness and resistance are normal, however it is in the attacks that this card falls on its face, dies, and becomes buried under 7 feet of dirt. Perhaps WOTC wanted to make an uncommon Electabuzz, so that those who could not afford the rare cards could still use big basic pokemon in their decks. Good idea, right? Wrong. And so is this card. For a double colourless energy, it can deal 20 damage. I suppose that is ok, although I don't really want to waste my Double Colourless first turn, when instead I could play a lightning energy on base Electabuzz, for a possible paralyse. Now THREE lighting energies for a colourless 30 damage! WHY? Why would ANYONE waste 3 energies of one type on this pokemon to do a mere 30 damage? Of course, it is better than base electabuzz against the ever-popular cubone decks (sarcasm check), but really, this attack sucks. Even other pokemon which require 3 of one type of energy can do better. Look at Electrode, Hitmonlee, Gyarados......all deal a good deal MORE damage for all those energies. And meanwhile, base Electabuzz is dancing around, doing his little thunderpunch thing, for one lighting and colourless energy (and MORE damage than Neo Electabuzz). Was Neo Electabuzz necessary? NO! This card is useless in comparison to the Electabuzz we already have, and we don't need new versions of cards we already have. The only time this card could be useful is in a no-rares games, but even then, for a Double Colourless, get a Lt Surge's Pikachu. So overall, this card is just wrong, like so many others. Perhaps you can all find new creative ways to use this card, after all, you did need something to test those new pens out on.......

As I typed out the stats for this card, I was tempted to put "Everything" in the place where I typed the word "Fighting". This card is, in a word, USELESS! Ok, you see it, and you think that the Stage 1 must be REALLY good for this card to even be CONSIDERED playable in non-tourney play. But wait for it, there IS NO Stage 1! This is a basic pokemon, and it doesn't evolve! 40 HP is just wrong. For a pokemon that doesn't evolve, 40 HP is sinful. Erika's jigglypuff, scyther with a pluspower, hitmonchan etc etc, leaves this card in the position that I have put it in. The no retreat cost is nice, but it shouldn't even be in your deck, let alone your active pokemon. The weakness to fighting is standard, as is the resistance to psychic for normal pokemon. This card really makes you ask WHY? even LOUDER than before. There are few explanations as to why this card was made, as it is just the most useless neo card by a mile. Perhaps Wizards needed some card to use for Origami, needed a new target for their dartboard (that EVIL grin on Aipom's face is somehow enchanting yet irritating), else perhaps it was created after a late night.

I suppose we better take a look at the attacks: Make Off With. Hmmmm. This could be useful if you were about to deck, but then again, isn't Nightly Garbage Run so much less pathetic? You shuffle Aipom and all cards attached to it into your deck. Not the kind of attack you want when it is the only pokemon you are left with. Then again, if this is the only pokemon you are left with, then chances are you should sell your cards and take up rock collecting instead. NEVER in ANY deck should this card be played, EVER. Wait! There is one more attack! Could this save Aipom from a 0/10 rating? Not likely. One energy, for an average of 10 damage. Hardly exciting, and hardly useful, this really just makes Aipom look even worse (if that is possible). Altogether, this card is just wrong, and should not be used. That is why it has earned itself the honour of being in my opinion, the WORST card in the entire set of Neo.
Perhaps we will see Aipom competing against base gastly, and bellsprout in an international pageant to find the most useless card in the world. You never know, Aipom might win something, but it certainly won't be any Pokemon TCG matches.

Well, people that is it. We have come to the end of our journey. I hope you have enjoyed this article, and perhaps at least I have gotten a chuckle out of you. If not, then oh well, I am sure I will ne writing a few more article to Pojo in the future. If you want to contact me, you can e-mail me at drg@xtra.co.nz
But please, do read the piece I said at the beginning of this article about not taking things too seriously.
But you can send me comments, whether you agree/disagree (BE NICE though), or anything else. Thanks for taking the time to read this, See ya!