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BMoor's Magic The Gathering Deck Garage
U/B theft deck
May 17, 2007

I work hard for your benefit here in the Deck Garage as a means of making the game of Magic more enjoyable and more accessible for people.  I do this as a way of being an upstanding model citizen for the people who read my articles.  As such, I have a moral obligation to live up to.  I treat all my clients with courtesy and patience.  I don't knowingly give false or misleading information.  I don't sell your E-mail addresses to advertisers.  And I don't rob people.  That doesn't just apply to Pojo correspondents, but to everyone.  I don't steal things, no matter from who.  Not even from large warehouse corporations who keep hordes of grossly underpaid employees below the poverty line so they can continue to undercut the prices of competitors.  I simply don't steal from anyone.
 
With my powerful, calculating intellect, however, I would have no difficulty determining the best methods of stealing something, on a hypothetical level of course.  And if a reader asked me to help them with a deck that was built around stealing things, well, I guess my responsibility as a deck mechanic would require me to help them.  It may be a conflict of interest, but, I suppose I can bring that up at the next mechanics' convention.
So I have a deck that i think needs some help.  i dont know what to do with it, so here it is:

Creatures:
4 Rathi Trapper
2 Body Double
1 Dimir Doppleganger
2 Tomorrow, Azami's Familiar
1 Draining Whelk
1 Teardrop Kami
1 Mindleech Mass
1 Circu, Dimir Lobotomist
 
Enchantments:
3 Dream Leash
4 Enslave
1 Control Magic
1 Confinscate
3 Frozen Ęther
 
Instants/Soceries:
2 Snap Back
4 Piracy Charm
3 Dismal Failure
1 Shrouded Lore
2 Boomerang
1 Unsummon
1 Cancel
2 Dash Hopes
 
11 Swamp
11 Island
 
It isn't fast enough, what should i do to make it last long enough so that i can actually use my theft
Well, I really wish you had told me a little more about this deck actually.  Two sentences is not enough to go on.  Clients who write paragraphs of text about their deck may seem a tad longwinded, but I prefer that to this any day.
 
From what I gather, your strategy is to steal your opponent's deck right out from under them and turn it against them.  Crime doesn't pay, my friend.  In Magic, the opposite holds true: you must pay for crime.  Cards that steal things not only take a card from your opponent, they give you a card.  So they're like kill spells and creatures (or discard spells and the spells they discard) all in one.  So it makes sense that they cost a lot of mana.  Which means you need to hold off your opponent until your ready to sandpaper up your fingers and pull on your ski mask.
 
You seem to already be headed in the right direction with several stall-style cards.  However, just to make this clearer, I'd like to rearrange your deck list.  You did a good job of sorting it into creatures, spells, and land, but for this deck fix a different sorting style is called for.
 
Theft Cards
2 Body Double
1 Dimir Doppleganger
1 Mindleech Mass
3 Dream Leash
4 Enslave
1 Control Magic
1 Confiscate
 
Delaying Tactics
4 Rathi Trapper
2 Tommorow, Azami's Familiar
1 Draining Whelk
1 Teardrop Kami
3 Frozen AEther
2 Snapback
3 Dismal Failure
2 Boomerang
1 Unsummon
1 Cancel
2 Dash Hopes
 
Other Stuff
1 Circu, Dimir Lobotomist
4 Piracy Charm
1 Shrouded Lore
11 Swamp
11 Island
 
Did I miss anything?  I hope not.  Well, anyway, now you can see the deck sorted out into its three main categories: your "theft" cards, your stalling cards, and everything else.  Now, the first thing we'll look at is the "everything else", since it's least likely to be of use.
 
Piracy Charm is actually a fairly good utility card here.  I won't complain about any Charm in almost any deck, since they're almost always of good use.  Circu and the Shrouded Lore, however, can go.  Circu only works in a dedicated mill deck, and Shrouded Lore, while a fairly good card, just isn't powerful enough.
 
Next is your delaying tactics.  Rathi Trapper, Frozen AEther, and several varieties of counter and bounce.  The Trapper can stay, but definitely remove Tomorrow (Azami's Familiar).  Six mana for a wall that smoothes out your draws?  If you want a wall that smoothes out your draws, use Cryptic Annelid-- it costs less, and gets you deeper into your deck the very moment you play it (as opposed to waiting for you to draw a card).  Now, your counterspells are a bit over the map: a good counterspell should be less than four mana, and also not Dash Hopes, especially in a U/B deck where you have access to so much better.  Out goes every counterspell but Cancel, and in come more Cancel.  Dismal Failure is a nice card, but you're already clogged at the four-mana slot.  You're better off with Consult the Necrosages: it's discard when you need it and card draw when you need that more.  As for your bounce, Boomerang is the best of the lot, so make them all Boomerangs.  Finally, Frozen AEther is a fine card but I think what you really need to do is focus more on speeding up your own deck than slowing down your opponent.  I'd say to pull the AEther in place of Dimir Signet.  Not only wil that help in a deck full of cards that need double of their color, but between that and the card draw power of Consult the Necrosages, you should find that this puts you a full turn ahead of your opponent's plans.
 
Finally, the business end of your deck. The theft cards you seem to love so much.  The ones you have now are fine, but if you already have such larcenous tendencies, why not supplement them with a Trecherous Urge?
 
Take the advice I've given you and run with it.  Run like a fat man on Cops runs from the police only to be inevitably cuffed, maced, and frisked.  Just remember to establish an alibi. 
 
~NAME WITHHELD (due to legal restraints)



 

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