Ahhh... the Pokemon League. A boon and a bane. Unfortunately, the only "all ages" tourney I have found locally happens just twice per month, so as an adult I have to get my face-to-face play fix at the local Pokemon League, so that's the boon. But the bane! These poor kids need some major Mech work done. The first week that I participated I played a total of 8 games. Guess how many trainers were played against me in those 8 games... total... .........ONE. ONE stinkin' energy removal!!! That was it! I had come in not knowing what to expect, so I brought my Wigglytuff deck for versatility. But I probably could have played a Porygon/Devolution deck and still won every game!

This weeks play: This time there were fewer players, but some of them actually used *GASP!* trainers this time (I saw about 6 Bills)! Most of the kids were just watching or trading. This time I brought one of my mildest decks (no, not Porygon/Devolution). I used a no retreat deck focusing on Venomoth's poison and confusion, and on Fearow's agility and damage ability. I still beat the kids up pretty badly, but at least I felt a teensy bit better about it since my deck gave them a fair chance if they had a half decent deck. The only other way I could seem to give these kids a chance is if I throw all my cards in a pile and randomly pick 60... (me thinks that's what some of these guys did!)

On to the show...

Deck: Sniper

3 Scyther
4 Venonat
3 Venomoth
4 Spearow
3 Fearow

4 Pokemon Trader
3 Computer Search
2 Gust of Wind
4 Energy Removal
3 Super Energy Removal
2 Bill
3 Professor Oak

18 Grass Energy
4 Double Colorless Energy

The focus of this deck revolves around several nasty elements, mainly free retreat and energy deprivation (I am speaking of this deck in relation to play experience on apprentice through Pojo, since that is where any real competition with it has occurred). Venomoth comes in to poison and confuse, forcing my opponent to either lose energy to retreats (to end poison and confusion) or die from damage (from poison, and self inflicted due to confuse). Once Venomoth's work is accomplished, I retreat for free and Fearow comes in to finish him off with 40 from drill. ER and SER further deprive victims of energy, hindering any attempts to retreat or gain enough energy to accomplish a sustained attack. The most difficult aspect of this deck is the start of play, while attempting to get off the ground by evolving and building up energy. Traders have proved invaluable, and Oak is all important. I usually lose 1 or 2 cards in the build up attempt, but it is a worthy sacrifice that pays off when everything falls into place.

Round 1 vs Michael (Fire/Fight)
The only opponent I could find that wasn't playing. Michael was probably about 8 and his mom was helping him stick with the rules... almost playing his hand for him. What could I do except smile and try to be encouraging while I lopped off his cute little cherub head. Michael comes out with Ponyta to my Venonat, whom I evolve on the second turn and have 2 E's on. I ER Ponyta twice to prevent his fire from burning me. Growlithe takes his place, but not before I ER his single energy to set him back. (The kid and mom look upset... must hurt to see another mom (me) beat up on your kid!)  In the meantime, Fearow is building on the bench (no ER's show up to hinder me), and I bring him in with failed agility, so the kid gets a lick in before Growlithe dies. Lastly he brings in Charmander, who succumbs to a successful agility and a drill peck. No more basics for the kid and mom... game over. They leave quickly, not even offering a rematch. At least they had a viable deck... just needs some trainers.
1-0

Round 2 vs Lawrence (Grass/Electric)
Hey! A big kid! Maybe some competition? Lawrence is a shy kid who gives me a weird look when I offer my deck to cut... I have to ask to cut his. Not that I believe for a second that this kid even knows how to cheat... my goal is to be an example of how the game is played if nothing else.  I start off with a mulligan, and the second draw gives me a Scyther. I send him up, win the toss and dance. His starter is Electabuzz... hey! Maybe he knows how to play! He thunder shocks with tails. I ER him,  comp search for DCE and hit him with 60. Another failed shock for him and I slash for ko... he has nothing on his bench, but puts one down from his hand to replace the dead Buzz... uh... I explain that if you can't replace a ko'd pokemon from your bench, you lose, then tell him to go ahead and play his basic from his hand, mostly because I WANT TO PLAY. He puts out Scyther and puts Zapdos on his bench. I gust Zap and he keeps trying to add energy while I am obviously going to ko him before he powers up with 4... okay, maybe he can't play. I ko Zap with my Scyther, then ko his Scyther using my Fearow for agility and drill. I have a fully powered bench by then, but I never need them. Another disappointing win.
2-0

Round 3 vs Lawrence again (Grass/Electric)
After my win I sweet talk him into playing me again as I see no other viable opponents except maybe one other kid who just started a game. Lawrence reluctantly agrees.  This time he starts with Jungle Pikachu to my Spearow. He wins the toss and plays an E on Pika. retreat Spearow and send in Venonat, ER and paralyze him. He builds up and Sparks me. I SER him and he needs to read the card to see what it is and does...! .......!! ............!!! *sigh* Well, at least he Bills a few times, so he actually does use a few trainers. Anyhow, he sends out a bunch of odd ducks like Grimer, Exeggute, and Eevee. I lose a Fearow to weakness and then a Venonat, but by then the bench is powered and it's slice and dice time. I win again, yeah, yeah.
3-0

Round 4 vs.... no one... forget it!
Now I feel sorry for these guys, and I can't bear to chop up another kiddy. I spend the rest of the time trading cards and scouting for next week's challenge. (NOTE TO SELF: Next week play the Porygon/Devolution deck or the tossed random 60 deck to at least have a challenge.) Or maybe I'll just play my own 2 kids that go with me... I know they are good. I am actually considering offering deck mech services to these poor, pathetic creatures in hopes that it will give me a challenge in the future.

Props and Slops
 ~ Props to Michael's mom for actually learning and knowing the game for her kid's sake... (hey, maybe I can play her next week!)
 ~ Props to Michael for having a viable deck.
 ~ Props Lawrence for sticking out a 2nd game with me.
 ~ Props to Mindy, my daughter, for taking report notes.

 ~ Slops to the mom who told her kid to steal my chair when my back was turned, even though I was standing next to it and had all my stuff on the table in front of it. (Then she got snitty and made some rude remarks about my being an adult at a kids gathering when I politely mentioned that I had been sitting there.)
 ~ Slops to the Toys R Us Gym Leader for teaching these kids nothing at all. Come on, Danielle! Say something... ANYTHING! Boys and Girls, can you say "TRAINERS"?  ; )

Respectfully submitted by:
Christine Amaral (aka: ClefairyDoll)
gcamaral@gte.net