It was a dark, and stormy night, and the Pokemon Lady was chilling' in the office of her pal, Dr.. Crash Landon. Pokemon Psychologist, PhD. Crash and the Lady were busy laughing about the recent antics of Crash's secretary...

"So, she went to Mardi Gras, and sent you postcards threatening you with horrible Voodoo Curses if you didn't give her a raise?" asked The Lady, with an incredulous look on her face.

"Yeah, " replied Crash... "But, you know what... after I got those postcards, I developed a horrible rash..."

The Pokemon Lady laughed and cocked her head to one side, as she did, her red curls tumbled around her shoulders. Her sea green eyes sparkled as she teased her friend. "And you thought that was a voodoo curse?" she asked. He noticed her yellow shirt beneath her white lab coat...

"Well, either that, or the laundry put too much starch in my shorts again..." Crash said, his own eyes twinkling as he looked away .

"Or, " she teased, "You just need to take a bath more often."

"Hey... That might explain it..." commented Crash as he examined the woman sitting in the chair across from him. She had red hair that bounced in ringlet curls around her shoulders. Her fair skin was smooth and pale, and two green eyes the color of the calm, clear, sea sparkled coyly at him.

The Lady took a drink from her 20 oz. bottle of Mt. Dew, and arched her left eyebrow at his perusal. "Is there something so remarkable about my face that you stare at it so keenly?" she asked with a bit of laughter in her soft, low, voice.

"Um..." replied Crash, not knowing what to answer. He was, after all, the one used to asking the questions. Being a professor of Pokemon Psychology, it was his job to probe the deepest recesses of the Pokemon Trainer's mind. In his time as a Pokemon Psychologist, he'd seen some really interesting people, and most of them he'd been able to pigeonhole right away; but, he just couldn't figure this girl out. One minute she was sweet, the nicest person you could imagine, the next minute she could be a sharp, cutting person with a vorpal tongue.

The Lady looked at Dr. Landon. In his left hand he held a ball point pen, which he used every so often to scratch his head as he looked strangely at her. Sometimes, he ran his hand through the straight brown hair that covered his head. But, every time she looked into his deep, brown eyes she felt mesmerized. "No wonder he's such a good therapist," she thought. "He just kind of sucks you in..."

Crash and The Lady sat there, for a while not saying anything to each other, just enjoying each other's company, when all of a sudden there came a resounding BANG BANG BANG at Dr. Landon's office door. Both Crash and The Lady jumped with surprise and Crash, with a scowl, got up to see who was banging on his door at this late hour.

Standing in the light from the doorway was a young person. Clutched in her hands was a small box. "Please, Doctor. You've got to help me. You're the only one who can help me... " Her frantic voice wavered on the verge of tears, and her face was pale with fright. Dr. Landon took her gently by the shoulders and led her into the room. Silently, The Lady got up from the plush leather chair she'd been sitting in and angled for the door.

The girl noticed the woman in the white lab coat, and a look of shock came over her face. "Who are you?" she questioned.

The Lady smiled and thought to herself, 'I guess the lab coat and pocket protector don't give me away. '

"I am Kate. I'm a friend of Dr. Landon's," she replied with a soft, gentle voice. "Crash," she said to Dr. Landon. "I'll go now..."

"No, " said the young visitor. "It's ok... you can stay... I just need some advice on... on my... Pokemon Deck."

Dr. Landon audibly exhaled, and The Lady threw a questioning look at Crash, who nodded. She went to the west wall and leaned up against it. "A Pokemon Problem, huh?" asked Crash. He reached out his hand and the girl gave the box of cards. He began looking through them with a thoughtful expression on his face. "Well, let's get to the heart of the matter. Why don't you start by telling me your name, and how you got into my office at," he looked at his Rolex, "9:30 at night."

"My name is Jane... and your doorman let me in."

"Doorman? We don't have a doorman..." Crash said.

"Yes you do, I got in because there was this man, with thick black braids, who spoke funny standing at the doorway outside. He had this long, thick stick with him and he wore this funny necklace made of plastic skulls.." The Lady looked at Crash, and he paled for just a moment but quickly recovered. " I asked if I could still get in to see you, and he said you hadn't come out yet... he waved his stick in front of the door... I suppose it's one of those automatic doors... it opened and I came inside..."

Crash "hmmmmm'd" at this, but the girl just went on. " I call my deck 'Victory Road.' I built it thinking that I would include Pokemon of all types because a true Pokemon master must be able to fight all types of decks... but my deck hasn't been doing very well."

"May I show this to my friend, Kate, Jane?" asked Crash. The girl nodded, and The Lady stepped up and shuffled through the cards.

"Hmmm," she thought as she handed the cards back to Crash. She said nothing.

Crash examined the deck again and looked at Jane. She seemed like a nice girl...

"Well, Jane... what is it you were trying to do with this deck..." asked Crash, trying to figure out her strategy. Jane just shrugged.

" I had stopped by the Pokemon Lady's lab earlier tonight, because I thought that she could help me--but she wasn't there... Her assistant, Blair, gave me a card with your address on it and said to try here." The Lady and Crash exchanged glances... and with a soft laugh, the Lady said "Jane, I'm the Pokemon Lady... if you want... I can help you now," she looked at Crash. " That is, if you don't mind, Dr. Landon?"

"No, by all means..." said Crash. "Actually, I need to go make a phone call to security..." with that, Crash hurried quickly from the inner office.

The Lady looked at Jane, and examined her deck carefully. "Were you trying to build a Potpourri?" she asked.

"Potpourri?" Jane questioned. "Not really."

"Scott Gerhardt built a deck that is now considered an archetype. It is called Potpourri. It runs more than three types of Pokemon, as your deck does; But, the difference is that this deck simply can't work very well. You would do best to drop the colors down to three at the most. Then you can increase your energies to make sure you're not going to get screwed in the end." She rummaged through the papers on Crash's desk to find one she could scribble aside. She finally found one under a book called, "You too can find a woman..."

1 basic Gyrados 1 basic Magikarp 1 basic Ninetails 1 basic Vulpix 1 basic Zapdos 1 basic Ponyta 1 basic Diglett 1 jungle Nidoran (female) 1 jungle Nidorina 1 jungle Nidoqueen 1 jungle Fearow 1 jungle Spearow 1 jungle Rhydon 1 jungle Rhyhorn 1 jungle Jigglypuff 1 fossil Moltres 1 fossil Hitmonlee 1 fossil Golem 1 fossil Graveler 1 fossil Geodude Trainers (20): 2 Computer Search 2 Full Heal 1 Pokemon Center 3 Pokedex 3 Professor Oak 3 Super Potion 3 Bill 2 Potion 1 Energy Search Energy (20): 4 Fire Energy 3 Lightning Energy 4 Fighting Energy 3 Grass Energy 2 Double Colorless Energy 4 Water Energy

Now, let's see what you have here. 2 Water Pokemon, 4 Fire, 1 Electric, 3 Grass, 3 Colorless, and 7 Fighting. Let's just take the 3 colors that you have the most of. Fighting, Fire, and Colorless. Diglett Rhydon Rhyhorn Hitmonlee Golem Graveler Geodude Ninetails Vulpix Ponyta Moltres Jigglypuff Spearow Fearow  Now that we've weeded out the Pokemon that probably don't do you all that much good... we need to trim down the Pokemon that just generally suck. Geodude and Graveler and Golem are AWFUL. So, cut them. Jigglypuff isn't much good without Wigglytuff, so cut that too. Ponyta is lost without Rapidash, so that goes as well. Finally, Moltres is not really suited for the deck, so chop it out. Oh! One more thing. Trade those Hitmonlee for Hitmonchan. Their attacks can be powered by colorless energy. With what we have left, I want you to put in 3 of the Base, and 2 of any evolution. 3 Diglett 3 Rhydon 2 Rhyhorn 3 Hitmonchan 3 Vulpix 2 Ninetails 3 Spearow 2 Fearow  Ok. We've 21 Pokemon, three different colors, but now your deck has some strategy. Your Fighting Pokemon and Fire Pokemon compliment each other... and there aren't very many rare Pokemon, so it won't be expensive to put together." "Is it really that bad?" asked Jane. "No, " the Lady replied. "You've made some of the same choices that many of the people who send me decks make." She continued, "As for your trainers, they look good, except that I want you to take out the Pokedex, Super Potions and Potions and add an Energy Search. Trade the Pokemon Centers for Scoop ups, two of them... And, add in there a couple of Item finders, and switches. " "Ok, " said Jane. "Now for you energy. You need 4 Double Colorless, 8 Fire, and 14 Fighting. You may find this is too much energy... but this is good for now."

Let's see what we have now." she said as she showed Jane the paper... Jane looked at it carefully...  First, talk about her. Girls like to talk about themselves. Tell her you like her shoes. Don't comment on weight, religion, politics, birthmarks, scars... "What is this?" Jane asked. "Oh, turn the paper over. Crash must have been taking notes on how to win friends and influence people..." was the Lady's reply. Jane turned the paper over, and saw: JANE'S DECK Pokemon (18) 3 Rhydon 2 Rhyhorn 3 Hitmonchan 3 Vulpix 2 Ninetails 3 Spearow 2 Fearow  Trainers (18) 2 Computer Search 2 Full Heal 2 Scoop Up 3 Professor Oak 3 Bill 2 Energy Search 2 Item Finder 2 Switch  Energy (24) 4 DCE 8 Fire 14 Fighting "Do you think this will work better?" Jane asked. "Yes, I think it will work much better than what you had before." The Lady replied. "Remember though, that this is just one way you could change it. You had lots of things in your deck. You could have picked to leave in the grass and water Pokemon, and that would have worked too. You simply needed to pick two or three Pokemon, and then develop them within the deck." With that, the Lady stood up and showed Jane to the door. "Thank you, " said Jane. "No problem," replied the Lady. "Well, I suppose I should go find Crash." "We could always ask the doorman..." suggested Jane. The Lady cocked her head and arched her brow at this, and a broad smile crossed her face. "I suppose we could." she said, as she and Jane walked out into the dark and stormy night.